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Chapter Twenty-Seven

Lilianna

I settled into my newly arranged nest, the weighted blanket a comforting pressure across my legs as I leaned against the scent-retaining pillows.

Julian and Miles had left me to rest before dinner, and I found myself breathing deeply, savoring the subtle scents they'd left for my comfort.

The room felt transformed—not just by the physical items we'd arranged, but by the care that had gone into creating this space.

I smiled at his thoughtfulness, typing back: I'll be down. Thank you for getting everything.

As I set the phone aside, my gaze fell on the folder Nicolaus had given me—the safety document we'd started together. I gave it one last glance promising myself I would add to it later tonight.

The thought of adding to the document felt less daunting now, surrounded by comfort and knowing I had support during whatever changes lay ahead. I tucked the folder into my bedside table drawer, then selected a soft cardigan to wear over my dress before heading downstairs.

The kitchen was alive with activity when I arrived.

Christopher stood at the stove, stirring something that smelled rich and savory, while Nicolaus sat at the island with his tablet, presumably researching my new medication.

Julian was setting the table with careful precision, and Miles was arranging fresh herbs from his garden in a small vase as a centerpiece.

"Perfect timing," Christopher said, looking up with a warm smile. "I made your favorite soup—the one you enjoyed so much the other night."

I felt a flutter of warmth at his words. The idea that he'd remembered what I liked, that he considered it "my favorite," was still foreign but wonderful. "You didn't have to go to extra trouble for me."

"It wasn't trouble," Christopher assured me, ladling the fragrant soup into bowls. "Besides, comfort food seems particularly appropriate tonight, given what you're about to start."

Nicolaus looked up from his tablet, his blue eyes serious but reassuring. "I've been reviewing the transitional medication Dr. Chen prescribed. It's a modern formulation with an excellent safety profile and minimal side effects during the adjustment period."

I took my usual seat at the table, accepting the bowl Christopher placed before me with grateful hands. The soup was the same rich, nourishing broth I remembered, but tonight it seemed to taste even better—more vibrant somehow, though I wondered if that was psychological.

"What should I expect when I take the first dose?" I asked, breaking apart the fresh bread Christopher had provided.

"The new medication works gradually," Nicolaus explained, setting his tablet aside to focus on me. "Unlike the harsh suppressant you've been on, this one allows for controlled hormonal fluctuation while preventing sudden heat cycles. You might not notice much change in the first few days."

Julian settled into his chair beside me, his presence immediately calming. "Dr. Chen mentioned that some patients experience improved sleep quality within the first week, as their bodies begin to regulate temperature more naturally."

"And potentially more vivid dreams," Miles added, taking a spoonful of his soup. "Your brain chemistry will be adjusting, which can affect sleep patterns initially."

I nodded, absorbing this information as I ate, “Are you guys not eating tonight?”

"We are," Christopher answered, bringing the last bowl to the table. "Just waiting for everyone to be settled."

As Christopher took his seat, I noticed the way they all relaxed slightly, as if my question had eased some tension. I'd been so focused on my own concerns that I hadn't fully registered their worry.

"How was your nest-building session?" Christopher asked, breaking off a piece of bread. "Julian mentioned you found some beautiful materials."

"It's perfect," I said, unable to keep the enthusiasm from my voice. "The weighted blanket feels amazing, and the scent-retaining pillows..." I trailed off, suddenly self-conscious about mentioning that Julian and Miles had scented items for me.

“If you want us to scent anything just ask.” Christopher said with a warm smile. "I'd be happy to add mine to your collection."

"Same here," Nicolaus added, his usual analytical expression softening. "Scent comfort is entirely natural during transitions like this."

Their casual acceptance made my embarrassment fade. "Thank you. I might take you up on that later." I took another spoonful of soup, savoring the rich flavor as I changed the subject. "This really is delicious, Christopher."

His face lit up at the compliment. "I'm glad you like it. I added a little more thyme this time—Miles's herb garden is particularly bountiful right now."

"The rain last week helped," Miles explained, his green eyes warming at the mention of his garden. "Everything's flourishing."

We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the simple pleasure of shared food creating a sense of normality despite the medical changes looming ahead.

I realized that these moments—the four of them and me, sharing a meal together—had already become something I looked forward to, a ritual that anchored my days.

"I brought your prescription," Christopher said, gesturing toward a small pharmacy bag on the counter. "I couldn’t decide which flavor to get so.” he smiled sheepishly, “I got three different ones.”

"Three?" I asked, smiling at his enthusiasm.

"Vanilla bean, since you mentioned vanilla. Salted caramel with chocolate chunks, because who doesn't love that combination? And strawberry shortcake, which has these little bits of cake mixed in." His gray eyes danced with excitement. "We can have a tasting session."

"That sounds wonderful," I admitted, touched by his thoughtfulness. "I can't remember the last time I had ice cream, actually. My mother considered it too indulgent."

A shadow passed over Julian's face at the mention of my mother but he quickly smoothed his expression. "Well, we consider it an essential food group," he said, his tone deliberately light.

"Especially during transitions," Miles added, passing me more bread. "Ice cream has remarkable therapeutic properties."

I smiled, grateful for their ability to turn even difficult moments into something warm.

As we finished our soup, the conversation flowed naturally around me—Miles discussing his plans for the autumn garden, Christopher describing a new recipe he wanted to try, Nicolaus sharing an interesting case he'd consulted on.

It felt normal, domestic in a way I'd never experienced before.

After dinner, I took the medication that would be apart of my everyday schedule before Christopher brought out the promised ice cream, arranging small scoops of each flavor in separate bowls.

"A proper tasting requires the full experience of each flavor individually," he explained with mock seriousness.

I tried all three flavors of ice cream, “I like the Strawberry shortcake one the best.”

Christopher beamed at me, his eyes crinkling with delight. "Excellent choice! The balance of creamy sweetness with those little cake chunks is quite special."

Julian watched me with a gentle smile, something warm in his gaze as I savored another spoonful. "It's nice to see you enjoying something just because it brings you pleasure."

His observation made me pause, spoon halfway to my mouth. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Julian said carefully, "that you're allowing yourself to simply enjoy something without worrying if it's appropriate or permitted. You're making choices based on what you like, not what someone else thinks you should like."

I hadn't considered it that way, but he was right. Even something as simple as choosing my favorite ice cream flavor felt like a small act of rebellion against years of rigid control.

"I suppose I am," I admitted, licking the spoon with uncharacteristic boldness. The gesture felt almost scandalous after years of being told to eat "like a lady," but the men around me seemed to find it endearing rather than improper.

"Good," Nicolaus said firmly, closing his tablet with a decisive click. "Learning to pursue pleasure without shame is an important part of healing."

Miles nodded in agreement, finishing his own ice cream. "Your preferences matter, Lilianna. They're part of who you are."

As the evening wound down, I found myself growing drowsy despite my earlier anxiety about starting the new medication. The weighted blanket had left me more relaxed than usual, and the comfort of the scented items waiting in my nest made the prospect of sleep appealing rather than daunting.

"I think I'll head up to bed," I announced, stifling a small yawn.

"I'll walk you up," Julian said, standing to clear his empty bowl. "Just to make sure you have everything you need for the night."

I nodded, grateful for his thoughtfulness. The others murmured their goodnights, Christopher reminding me to call if I needed anything during the night, while Nicolaus mentioned he'd check on me in the morning to see how I was adjusting to the new medication.

As Julian and I climbed the stairs together, I felt a flutter of nervous anticipation about spending my first night in the properly arranged nest. The scented items waiting for me felt like promises of comfort, but also reminders of how much my life was changing.

"Are you nervous?" Julian asked softly as we reached my door.

"A little," I admitted, my hand on the doorknob. "Not about the medication, exactly. More about... what comes next. What I might discover about myself without something suppressing me.”

Julian's expression grew tender, his hazel eyes reflecting understanding. "Change can be frightening, even when it's positive change. But remember—whatever you discover about yourself, it's still you. Just... more fully yourself than you've been allowed to be before."