Page 36
Dr. Chen turned to a new page on her tablet.
"Once we have the bloodwork results, we can create a personalized plan.
Generally, I recommend a gradual transition over three to five weeks reducing the current suppressant while introducing the new one.
This helps minimize withdrawal symptoms and allows your body to adjust gradually. "
"What kind of symptoms?" I asked, anxiety creeping into my voice.
"Most people experience some mood fluctuations, changes in energy levels, and increased sensory sensitivity," Dr. Chen explained.
"Some patients report feeling emotions more intensely—both positive and negative.
Think of it like adjusting to new glasses after years of blurred vision.
Everything seems sharper, sometimes overwhelmingly so at first."
Julian's hand moved slightly closer to mine on the armrest, not quite touching but offering silent support. "How can we help her through that transition period?"
"Patience, understanding, and consistent support," Dr. Chen replied, glancing between us.
"Having a stable environment with people who understand what's happening is crucial.
Many patients find it helpful to keep a journal during the transition, tracking their physical and emotional responses so they can discuss them at follow-up appointments. "
I touched the leather journal Nicolaus had given me, still tucked in my bag. "I actually have a journal for that purpose."
"Perfect," Dr. Chen said with approval. "Writing can be incredibly therapeutic during transitions like this. It helps you process changes and identify patterns in your responses."
She made another note on her tablet. "I'd also recommend scheduling follow-up appointments every two weeks initially, so we can monitor how you're adjusting and make any necessary modifications to your treatment plan."
"That sounds reasonable," I said, surprised by how manageable she was making this process seem. In my mind, changing suppressants had felt like jumping off a cliff into the unknown.
"Now," Dr. Chen said, setting her tablet aside, "do you have any other questions or concerns? About the bloodwork, the transition process, or anything else related to your care?"
I hesitated, then decided to ask the question that had been hovering at the edge of my thoughts. "If I do transition to milder suppressants, how will it affect... intimacy? Physical relationships?" My cheeks burned as I forced the words out.
Dr. Chen's expression remained professionally neutral, though her eyes held understanding rather than judgment. "That's an excellent question, and I'm glad you felt comfortable asking it. Many patients wonder the same thing but are too embarrassed to bring it up."
She folded her hands on her desk. "The suppressants you've been on likely dampened your libido significantly—that's part of the 'muted' feeling you described.
As your body adjusts to milder medication, you may notice increased physical desire and sensitivity.
Touch might feel more intense, scents more compelling. "
Julian remained perfectly still beside me, his breathing measured and controlled.
"Is that... scary for most people?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Dr. Chen smiled gently. "It can feel overwhelming at first, especially if you've been told that physical desire is shameful.
But it's completely natural and healthy.
The key is learning to understand and trust your own responses.
" She paused, glancing briefly at Julian before returning her attention to me.
"Having supportive partners who respect your boundaries and communicate openly makes an enormous difference. "
I nodded, though my heart was racing at the implications. The idea of feeling desire more intensely, of being more responsive to touch and scent, was both thrilling and terrifying.
"One more thing," Dr. Chen continued. "The transition might also affect your nesting instincts. You may find yourself wanting to arrange your space differently, seeking out specific textures or scents that bring you comfort. This is also completely normal."
"Like my room," I said quietly, thinking of the nest I'd already built despite the heavy suppressants. "I've been arranging it in ways that feel... right."
"Exactly," Dr. Chen nodded, looking pleased. "That's your omega instincts asserting themselves even through the medication. As the suppressants decrease, those instincts may become stronger or more specific."
Julian shifted slightly in his chair. "Is there anything else we should prepare for?"
Dr. Chen considered this. "Scent bonding might intensify. Lilianna may find herself more drawn to or comforted by the scents of people she trusts. Some patients keep items of clothing or other scented objects from close friends or partners to help during times of stress."
My face burned at her words, and I couldn't bring myself to look at Julian. The idea of keeping his clothing, or any of theirs, for comfort made my stomach flutter with something between embarrassment and longing.
"That's... that's normal?" I managed to ask.
"Completely normal," Dr. Chen assured me. "Scent provides powerful comfort and security cues for omegas. It's one of the most natural bonding mechanisms you have."
Julian cleared his throat softly. "Would it be helpful for Lilianna to have... options available? In case she experiences that need during the transition?"
"Very helpful," Dr. Chen nodded approvingly. "Having familiar, comforting scents readily available can significantly ease anxiety and help with emotional regulation during the adjustment period."
I finally risked a glance at Julian, finding his expression warm and understanding rather than uncomfortable. The fact that he was openly discussing ways to support me through this transition, made my chest tight with gratitude.
"I think that covers most of the immediate concerns," Dr. Chen said, making a final note. "Shall we get that bloodwork done? The sooner we have results, the sooner we can create your personalized treatment plan."
I nodded, clutching my folder as we stood. "Thank you for explaining everything so clearly. I've never had a doctor speak to me directly about my own care before."
Dr. Chen's expression softened with something that might have been sadness. "That's a disservice that was done to you, Lilianna. Your body, your choices. Always remember that."
I gave her a small smile as she went to get what was needed for the blood drawl, while I sat in her office and for the first time, felt more in control of my life.
Table of Contents
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- Page 36 (Reading here)
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