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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

brOOKS

I peeled out of the parking lot and clamped my hand around the steering wheel. The sound of my tires rolling along the pavement was the only thing filling the silence between us.

My head was spinning from that dinner.

Her smile and her laughter and the way she charmed the Clarks was fresh in my mind.

She made me look good. She was convincing. She made it seem like I’d be the ideal husband. Surprisingly, I wasn’t even pissed about it.

That part was messing with my head.

For the first time in five years, that anger I’d been holding on to wasn’t as sharp tonight. Instead, something else was creeping in.

Gratitude.

I swallowed and pushed down on the gas as if I could somehow outrun my feelings.

“That went well, don’t you think?”

I nodded in agreement. “It did, although you laid it on pretty thick tonight.”

There was a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. “I think what you’re trying to say is thank you.”

I grinned, despite myself. “You did good tonight.”

She crossed her legs and turned to me. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that was a compliment.”

I huffed out a low laugh. “Don’t get used to it.”

“I told you I could handle it.”

“You did better than I expected. Thank you.”

When I glanced over, there was no smirk or smile this time. She simply stared, and it made me uneasy.

“Did you really just say thank you?”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “I did.”

I shifted in my seat as I rolled to the stoplight. The cab of my truck suddenly felt two sizes too small.

She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, nervously fiddling with the hem of her dress. I could tell she had something on her mind. Her lips parted like she wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure how.

I didn’t want to push, but the silence was eating away at me. “Everything okay over there? You’re being awfully quiet.”

She chewed on her bottom lip as if she wasn’t sure how to deal with me any more than I knew how to deal with her. “You’re being nice to me.”

She made it sound like it was a foreign concept. The guilt made my skin itch.

“Try not to make a big deal out of it, okay?”

A soft laugh escaped her. “That’s kind of hard to do.”

She wasn’t wrong. Since I first came up with the brilliant idea to marry her, I’ve used my anger to hold this charade together. Keeping her at arm’s length was the safest option, but I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to keep up the act.

Especially after tonight.

The light turned green, so I stepped on the gas and tried to ignore how she looked at me.

“You surprised me tonight, Brooks.”

I arched an eyebrow. “How so?”

She folded her hands tightly in her lap. “Maybe you’ll go back to being grumpy in the morning, but right now, it feels like you don’t actually hate me.”

I should have shut this conversation down. Found something else to talk about. Maybe remind her that this was nothing more than an arrangement, but I couldn’t seem to find the words.

“Say something,” she pleaded.

I sighed, running a hand over my jaw. “I told you before, I don’t hate you, Harlow.”

She blinked, like she couldn’t believe I just admitted that. “I would understand if you did.”

“I don’t. I never could. It was easier to pretend that I did.”

Harlow had no idea how broken I was after she left. No matter how much she tried to make up for it, the pain was buried too deep inside me to fully move beyond it.

She sat beside me, tapping her feet on the floormat. I wasn’t sure if she even realized she was doing it.

I heard her sniff quietly. “You probably won’t believe me when I say this, but the truth is, you were always there in the back of my mind. Being apart didn’t make me love you any less; it only made it hurt more.”

I exhaled slowly. “You can’t say things like that.”

“Why not? It’s the truth. I’m tired of pretending that I don’t feel anything when I feel everything.”

I kept my eyes on the road while trying to steady my heart. “I don’t know how to do this with you, Harlow. You made me feel like I wasn’t worth fighting for.”

“I know. It’s been my biggest regret.”

I pulled the truck over to the side of the road and threw it into park so I could face her.

I shouldn’t have stopped. I should have kept driving. I should have remembered all the reasons why we shouldn’t be having this conversation.

Instead, my thumb reached out to trace the corner of her cheek. Harlow’s skin was soft and familiar. I trailed my hand down to her jaw, tightening slightly and forcing her face toward mine.

Her breathing picked up, and it was hard to miss how her pupils dilated. “Brooks. Why are you looking at me like you want to kiss me?” she asked, sliding her hand up my arm.

This wasn’t what I planned, but right now I didn’t give a damn. I was already hanging on by a thread.

My grip on her jaw tightened. “What if I do?”

She didn’t answer me; she simply moved as close as possible with the console between us. “Then maybe you should stop thinking so hard and do it.”

I gripped the back of her head with one hand and lifted her across the seat with the other until there wasn’t a single inch of space between us. I was done second-guessing. Done being afraid. No more fighting this.

I smashed my mouth against hers. These feelings have been bottled up for too long to keep fighting them.

She tightened her fingers in my hair and rocked her hips into mine like she needed more. The space was cramped, but we were both too starved for it to care.

She gasped into my mouth while I ran my hands along her sides like a man who had gotten a second chance and had no intention of wasting it. My tongue swept against hers, urging her on. The taste of her lips, the scent of her skin, and the way she moaned were driving me insane.

My hands continued to roam, like I was relearning her curves all over again. I wanted to feel every inch of her.

I dragged my lips from her mouth, tracing a path with my tongue along her jaw to that sensitive spot behind her ear. She let out a sharp hiss, and I smiled in satisfaction at how well she responded to me.

“Tell me to stop.” I pleaded.

“No.”

Before I could get another word out, her mouth was on mine again. We kissed for what felt like hours. We were both breathing so hard that the windows started to fog up.

Her palms skimmed over my shoulders. I reached my hand to the side of the seat to recline it back.

There was no space between us. No hesitation.

It was only her—just us. I groaned against her mouth.

Harlow moved her fingers down my chest and untucked my dress shirt.

The feeling of her nails grazing along my skin made my entire body shudder with need.

I’d been with other women since she left, but they were never her. Not even close.

Harlow made a soft, needy sound in the back of her throat. Every little moan that slipped out lit a fire inside me. All the years of loving her and missing her came rushing back. My hands framed her face as her tongue met mine, stroke for stroke.

We kissed in the dark like we were trying to make up for lost time. I could have kissed her forever. She was in my arms again, and nothing else mattered.

A car sped by, so I pulled back, needing a second to catch my breath. I held her face in a tight grip. She was a mess with wild hair and flushed cheeks, yet she was the kind of pretty that made time slow down. Her eyelids were heavy, her lips were swollen, and the ache in my pants was unbearable.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” I rasped, sliding my hands along her shoulders. “Anyone could see us.”

She smiled, soft and sweet, as she squeezed the bulge in my pants. “I don’t care.”

I jerked back. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I want to make you feel good.”

I drew in a sharp breath. “Harlow, we are not doing this right now.”

“Why not? I can feel how hard you are for me?”

That was true, but we had already crossed too many lines tonight.

“Sweetheart,” I warned, but she didn’t listen. I should have pushed her away. But when her fingers traveled to my zipper, slow and deliberate, every nerve in my body was on high alert.

This was dangerous and foolish, but I was a red-blooded male who was turned on like there was no tomorrow.

I gritted my teeth and forced myself to meet her eyes. “You don’t have to do this.”

The second I said the words, my dick hardened in defiance.

She shifted closer, bringing her mouth to my cheek. “I want to do this, so stop trying to talk me out of it.”

I didn’t think there was anything she would ask for that I wouldn’t give her right now.

“This is reckless. I’m trying to be a gentleman here.”

Her fingers traced a lazy pattern along my inner thigh. “You used to like reckless.”

“That was a long time ago.”

Why was she pushing me so hard? I only had so much control, and what little I had left was about to snap.

Her lips continued to tease the edge of my jaw. “You have no idea how much sleep I’ve lost because I can’t stop thinking about what it would feel like to be back in your bed again.”

Jesus.

“I don’t know what was in that wine tonight, but you have no idea what you are saying. You will regret these words in the morning.”

She only had two glasses of Merlot, so I had no idea what was spurring her on like this.

“I would never regret you.” Her fingers fumbled with the button of my pants.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I’m afraid that come morning, you will go back to hating me again. If this is my one chance, I’m going for it.”

She was making it so damn hard to deny her.

“Harlow…” I began, but she covered my mouth with her hand.

“Please, Brooks. I know what I’m doing. I know what I want, and it’s you. It’s always been you.”

Without waiting another second, Harlow pulled my zipper down and reached inside. I hissed in a breath, nearly jumped out of my seat when her delicate fingers wrapped around me. She gave my length a good tug before circling her thumb along my head.

The woman knew what she was doing. She knew the type of control she had over me. Every little brush of her fingers was setting me off. I dropped my head back and shut my eyes. The feeling was too much.

Harlow tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and pulled me out all the way. Her hand squeezed hard, and the cutest little smirk I’d ever seen broke out across her face. I was tempted to kiss it off her, but when she tugged me harder, I put my hand on the back of her head and pushed down.

She laughed. The vibration wasn’t helping. “Relax and let me make you feel good.”

“You know I don’t like being told what to do.”

“You can boss me around when we get home.”

You can boss me around when we get home.

I liked the sound of that. Not just the bossing around, but the word “home” coming from her lips.

When Harlow’s lips licked their way up and down my shaft, I’d never been more thankful for living in the middle of nowhere before in my life.

“Fuck.” I hissed in a breath when I hit the back of her throat.I lifted my hips while she worked her mouth and hands over my cock. My balls felt heavy when she took me deeper.

I gripped the steering wheel when she started making little noises. She was sexy as hell. Whatever restraint I had earlier was gone. I never stood a damn chance against her. “You’re better at this than I remember.”

Harlow didn’t respond; she just kept sucking and tugging on my shaft like she had all the time in the world.

My hips jerked forward. “I’m not going to last.”

She released me with a pop and stared up at me. “That’s fine, as long as you save some for later.”

Then she went back and swallowed me even deeper. Watching her head bob up and down and trying to keep my orgasm from spilling out of me was a losing battle.

Harlow moaned as her eager mouth continued to suck me into the back of her throat, like she was savoring every single taste.

The woman had some type of magical tongue. She was making me see stars when there wasn’t one in the sky.

I gripped the back of her hair, forcing her gaze on mine. “I’m going to make a mess.”

Her lips curled into a smile. “I don’t care.”

She leaned forward and swept her tongue along my tip.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. We weren’t just crossing a line, we were bulldozing right through it.

I felt myself thickening in her palm. Her mouth was wet and perfect.

I should have been worried about what would happen next, but my only thought was about how good this felt.

We had been dancing around each other since she came back into town.

She wasn’t a random girl I was bringing home for a hookup. This was Harlow.

“Stop fighting this and give me what I want,” she pleaded, swallowing me deeper.

I couldn’t think. She felt too good.

I sensed myself veering toward the cliff.

“What do you want?” I panted out between breaths. This wasn’t supposed to happen, but now that the switch had been flipped, I didn’t want to turn it off.

“I want you to come down my throat.”

My head fell back, and my eyelids fluttered closed. This wasn’t solely about need. It was about all the years we lost and that fire that still burned between us.

My balls drew up, and I came hard. Harder than I’d come in a long time.

“Harlow,” I managed to say as she continued to swallow every last drop. “That feels so good, baby.”

Once she finished, she sat up and grinned. Her lips were swollen, and she had a dazed, almost dreamy look in her eyes.“That was incredible.”

I grinned back, finally finding the strength to sit up.

I stared up at the roof of my truck, feeling caught up in the aftermath of what we just did.

We were both breathing hard. The world outside the truck was forgotten.

I brushed the hair back from her cheek and kissed her forehead. “Yeah, it was.”

A bright smile broke out on her face. “I always liked making you feel good.”

I groaned against her mouth. “You went beyond that, baby. You wrecked me.”