Page 38

My late shift at Sculpt is a lot more stimulating than the hours of admin I had to put in at St. Anthony, and the main reason is the sudden interest in Sebas’s blob.

Sebas decided not to put it for sale after all, just show it for now and see if there would be any interest.

If the two socialite women’s insistence that I tell Sebas they want custom pieces is anything to go by, I say there’s plenty of it.

Sebas isn’t here today, though, so I’ve been holding down the fort on my own.

It’s been a good way to keep my mind off of my worries about Liam. Whenever there’s been a period of quiet, I’ve had to battle with myself not to text him. I don’t want him to think I’m... nagging him, or pushing him to open up when he clearly doesn’t want to.

But I want him to want to.

Does that make me an insensitive arsehole ?

I hope it doesn’t, because if I’m honest, I can’t stop myself from wanting to be accepted as a comfort.

I don’t want to make his life harder than it already is.

So when I hear the glass door open and steps come in while I’m taking down the women’s contact information, in case Sebas does want to make custom pieces for them, I’m not sure how to react to the sudden instinctive feeling that it’s Liam.

Part of me wants to give him all my attention immediately, tell the ladies to come another day and leave it at that, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do here, so instead I keep listening to the customers tell me their emails and full names.

They leave with big smiles on their faces, and I make sure that the note with their information has a reminder for Monday mid-morning so I don’t forget to talk to Sebas about it.

I get the weekend off this week, and he’ll be here if he feels like opening—which he sometimes doesn’t, but it’s literally his business, so I’m not gonna tell him how to run it.

Thankfully, I’m also off from St. Anthony’s, so it’ll be a rare completely free weekend for me.

I feel Liam walking around the columns, looking around, and maybe he’s purposely trying to be quiet, but I know this gallery like the back of my hand. I know when someone else is here. I decide it’s better to let him know sooner rather than later.

“You know there’s a fine line between stalking and romance, darling.” I speak in an even tone on purpose, and keep looking at the screen even though I’m not doing anything on it anymore.

“I’m here with some . . . news.”

The pause doesn’t bode well, I think, or the way he walks over, so slow and hesitant .

“What is it?” I ask, already worried as I walk around the desk that hides the monitor and toward him.

“I think it’s better if I show you,” he murmurs when I’m right by him.

I want to reach over and hug him, kiss him, assure myself that everything that happened yesterday wasn’t a fluke, but instead he shoves his phone my way, and as soon as I grab it, he walks away.

I guess I should see what this is all about, but I’m really not happy with this greeting.

I read the headline and I’m instantly beyond annoyed. This is bollocks. Why do people even care?

Then a thought strikes me.

“Do you think the grave robber was the source?” I ask loudly, since Liam is on the other side of the gallery.

“I hadn’t thought of that, if I’m honest.”

“He was here on Tuesday,” I say without thinking, and Liam whirls around, his frown more pronounced than ever.

“On Tuesday? Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands and begins to stalk toward me.

Taken aback by his sudden intensity, I frown right back.

“I had more important things to think about,” I start, trying to stay calm. “Like figuring out my sexuality and making sure I didn’t lose you. Besides, Sebas, CJ, and I handled him.”

“Maybe not well enough,” he snaps.

“Hey, what’s going on?” This isn’t like him, and I guess he realizes that because he takes a deep breath. When he looks my way I can tell he’s staring at my forehead, and that can’t be a good sign .

“This is an invasion of your privacy and you don’t deserve to have a picture of you on any gossip site. It’s not what you want, is it?”

“Liam, I knew the possibility of us being photographed together existed when we made the game plan for the ball. I don’t care about the stupid gossip site.

And if this really was the grave robber, then I’ll get a restraining order or something, but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

” I speak slowly. “Is this all you talked about with Tristan?”

“No.” He shakes his head once. “I took Parker and William with me and we have a fraction of a plan for what to do next.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” I ask softly, and his face smoothes over marginally.

“It’s as good as it’s going to get for now.” He pauses for a moment and I take the opportunity to walk closer and grab his hand.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Did you avoid telling me about Dirk coming here because you think I can’t handle it?” he asks bluntly.

I reel back. I thought we’d finished talking about him.

“No Liam, I?—”

“Because I can handle it, you know?”

“Yes,” I insist. “I told you I just didn’t give it that much importance.”

He looks me in the eyes then, and I hold my breath, hoping he’ll believe me. I’d never shield Liam from something important. I’d actually never shield him, period. He’s proven to me time and time again how resilient he is.

“Do you want to go get something to eat?” I ask quietly .

“Not really. I just want to go home,” he mumbles, and I’d have found it as adorable as always if he’d left it at that. “Alone.” He slips his hand from mine, then his mouth stretches in the quickest and fakest smile I’ve ever seen.

“I just came by to tell you about the article, but now I really need to just not be around anyone. You should go be with your friends before they leave for their trip.”

“What? No, I want to support you. I’ll see my friends soon enough.” I scoff at the idea of needing to spend time with them. I’ve been spending time with them plenty. “Whatever you need, I just want to help in any way I can?—”

“Then go home,” he snaps again, almost shouting.

I take a moment to think about what I should do here. The last thing I want is to leave Liam alone in such an angry state, but maybe that’s what he needs?

The only other time I’ve seen him upset was totally different. He went completely silent after our first Dirk ambush, but this time he’s clearly pushing me away. Does he want me to leave him alone or does he need me to?

I wish I knew what to do here, but I don’t, so instead I speak softly.

“If you want to be alone, I can understand that.”

He looks away and nods as his throat works on a hard swallow.

“That’s what I want.”

“All right,” I whisper.

My plans of spending the weekend helping him through this huge disappointment go up in flames as he simply... walks away .

As frustration bubbles up inside me I remind myself that walking away like that is what he needs, and that we’re not over because of what just happened—if we were over I’d like to think Liam wouldn’t have an issue letting me know plainly.

I just have to respect his wishes, and then I’ll try again tomorrow. If supporting him the way he needs is staying away, then I’ll do that.

In no mood to be a salesman, I close the gallery a bit early then order myself a car to take me home. Yes, it will probably take three times as long, but I don’t care. It’s thirty bloody degrees outside and no British person is built to sustain that kind of heat.

I brave the heat from the car to the front door of the brownstone, and the sheer volume of laughter and voices is startling.

I follow the sound to the comfortable living room at the back and find all of my friends there. Mike and Theo aren’t of course, but the other three couples, Iris, and Adam’s cousins Alex and Lucy are all there.

They’re playing fucking video games, and I can’t right now.

I can’t act happy or carefree.

“Adam!” I shout over all the bloody noise, which only lowers slightly, though my friend does turn toward me with startlingly wide eyes.

“Hey, man!” he cries out, and a smile starts to bloom on his face but then quickly fades. “What’s wrong?”

I look at CJ who’s also frowning at me, and tilt my head.

“Come on,” I tell them, and walk away to take the elevator to the third floor .

The sitting room up there will be the perfect place to have this conversation.

I’m not giving up on Liam or our relationship, not until he tells me he’s done with me. Until that time comes, I’m going to go along as if it’s never coming, and that means I need to get ready to be the man Liam wants and needs next to him.

“You didn’t come home last night,” CJ sing-songs when we all make ourselves comfortable. He’s trying to sound teasing, and any other time I’d welcome that, but not today.

“I stayed over at Liam’s,” I tell him straight up. “Now I need you two to explain gay sex to me, please.” They’re the two men I’m closest to in the world, and both very good people. There’s no one else I’d trust to ask about?—

Everything inside me comes to a screeching halt as a realization hits.

Liam is now on that list as well, of people I’d trust enough to go get advice from.

It hits hard, and it only reinforces my resolve to not let him go without a fight.

“Do you mean anal sex?” Adam asks, his frown never leaving his face.

“Yes, all of it.”

“Well, sex isn’t only penetrative sex—” Adam starts but I cut him off.

“I know that, fuck.” I rub a hand down my face then try to explain myself better. “How do you choose who tops and who bottoms? Am I supposed to decide what I like and just tell Liam? What if we both want to top? Or bottom? How do you give a blow job? Do you like giving blow jobs? Do you do it?— ”

“Okay, stop.” Adam interrupts my speech, which was starting to sound panicked and hysterical—and not in the funny way. “Jeez,” he breathes out the word harshly. “This is going to take some time.”

CJ jumps up suddenly.