Page 35

“Carter,” Liam whispers, cupping my cheek and pulling my gaze back to his.

It’s then that I realize our chests are flush together.

It feels... bloody amazing. And he only makes it more so by looking into my eyes and smiling softly.

“You’re a good man, Carter Din,” he tells me, and then he kisses me again.

It’s our third kiss, I know, I know.

But somehow, I know I’ll lose count sooner than I’m ready for.

I know I’ll never tire of it, never have enough of Liam.

The shock of it has me gasping as I step back.

By the looks of it, Liam isn’t mad at my weird behavior. He smiles tenderly and just stares as the droves of people pass us by.

“You just raised the bar, Liam,” I tell him.

“What?” he asks, confused.

“The romance bar was on the floor, then you raised it back in your apartment, and just now you did it again.”

“So did you,” he says, his tone accusatory, and it makes me smile. “You told me you don’t mind if I put on my earbuds while we’re walking together because you know all the sounds bother me.”

“That’s because I’m not an arsehole,” I protest.

“No, you’re definitely not.” He smiles again, and this time he kisses me like he’s making a point. “You’re a good man, Carter,” he repeats, and for some reason my throat constricts at it.

Okay, not some reason.

I’ve had more than a few times in my life when I’ve doubted whether I’m a good person or not, so Liam believing I am makes me emotional. Of course it does.

“Put on your earbuds,” I grumble and look away.

He does as I ask, and I can’t say I’m not grateful for this free pass not to talk.

The thought of Liam having any kind of expectations for what will happen when we’re back at his flat is daunting, but I have about thirty minutes to figure it out.

I use every second of our walk to construct a somewhat logical sentence that will explain my wishes and not make Liam feel bad, and so I blurt it out the second the elevator’s doors close and he puts his earbuds away.

“I’m not ready to have sex with you.”

Clearly, I’m not a master with words.

“Okay,” Liam says simply, though his frown is slightly more pronounced than normal.

“I didn’t think it would be wise for us to have sex tonight,” he says slowly.

“I am physically attracted to you, but I also believe anticipation and slow increments in intensity of sexual encounters will result in an overall more enjoyable experience when we eventually do have sex.”

Okay, I need a moment to process all that, and thankfully, the elevator dings right then and distracts Liam.

At least for the two minutes it takes us to walk to his door, for him to open it, for us to take off our shoes, and for Liam to dump all his things on the entrance hall table.

“I think I need to clarify something,” I start, speaking slowly so I’m sure of every word. “I’ve clearly never had sex with a man, or done anything sexual with a man. I’m not ready for either of those things. And I need to figure out how I would even go about it.”

I can recognize that I sound hysterical again by the time I’m done, and wonder briefly if this apartment building specifically brings out this overly expressive side of me.

It happened the day I met Liam and his family here for dinner too.

“I understand that,” he says, sounding so calm.

It’s a bit irritating, but I know that’s a me problem.

“I think that until things change, it’d be a good idea if we agree that you’re the one who’ll initiate any further intimacy in whatever form you choose.

I... desire you,” he says after hesitating slightly.

“And it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex with anyone, but I do want to have sex with you. ”

“I—” I choke on air when my thoughts reach my consciousness, but eventually I get a hold of myself and decide to speak them out loud. “I want to have sex with you too,” I confess. “I’m just really not ready.”

“I respect that, so how does my suggestion sound? You can assume I want you at all times unless I’m in distress, and when and if you want to initiate something sexual, then you say so and then you do it.”

“That—” Sounds completely foreign to me, but... “I think that’s a great idea. Thank you,” I murmur and step right up to him, reaching for his waist with both hands and kissing him softly.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” he asks, between kisses.

“Given what we just agreed, I can deduce you’re not thinking about Netflix and chill, so I’m going to say yes. How about How to Train your Dragon ? The other day, when you said you love those movies, it reminded me of them and I’ve been meaning to watch them again.”

“I’d like that.” He nods twice and steps back. “I’d like to change into something more comfortable, though, is that okay? Do you want to change as well?”

I think about it seriously for a second, then nod.

“I would. If you could lend me a pair of pants and a shirt, I’d appreciate it.”

“I’ll be back in a minute. You grab whatever you want from the kitchen, and when I get back I’ll need you to explain what Netflix and chill is.”

He’s through the door to what I assume is his bedroom before I can let my laughter loose.

He’s precious.

Less than ten minutes later we’re both changed, and I’m standing in front of the microwave waiting for the popcorn to be done while Liam puts the perfect amount of ice in his glass for his soda .

“Hey, I have a question,” I announce, looking around the open concept space.

“Okay,” he murmurs, as he carefully lifts two ice cubes with a pair of tongs.

“Why don’t you have a piano here?” He has the room just beyond the dining table, but he has potted plants there. “Is it because you can hear the music without listening?” I smile as I say it, still amazed that it’s something his brain can do.

“Something like that. If I ever feel the need to play the piano, I can not only hear the notes as if I were playing it, but the simulation in my brain is very lifelike, so I can almost feel the keys under my fingers.” He sounds almost distracted, and only makes my smile widen.

“Now you’re just bragging,” I tease him.

He looks up, and after scanning my face, smiles back at me.

“Maybe,” he says coyly. At least his version of coy, which is frankly adorable.

“I like it when you brag,” I admit, and start walking closer to him. “I know not everything is easy for you in everyday life.” I’m almost to him then, and my words come out quietly. “But your musical talents are a lot to brag about.”

Close enough now, I don’t think about it too long, I simply raise my chin and catch his lips with mine. His lips part almost instantly this time, and I don’t hesitate to slide my tongue over his lips and into his mouth to stroke it against his.

His moan drowns out the beeping of the microwave, and when he slides his hands over my sides and then presses his palms firmly against my back so we’re fully pressed against each other, gooseflesh erupts all over my body .

I feel my cock begin to harden, and when I shift just slightly, I can feel his erection as well. It excites me as much as it terrifies me, but I don’t stop kissing him.

We ignore the sound of buzzing until it stops, then it starts back up again. Liam wrenches his mouth from mine, panting hard, and looks around the kitchen counter hurriedly.

He snatches his phone and his frown disappears so quickly it almost gives me whiplash.

With his face completely devoid of emotion I can’t know what he’s thinking, but then he whispers, “It’s Tristan,” and I know that this call might be everything he’s been waiting for.

“Go on, answer,” I urge him.