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Carter laughs, and I’m sure this time that he’s laughing at himself, but I don’t want to think about his motives. Instead I close my eyes so I can focus on the sound and enjoy it.

That is until he stops with a long, “Ahh,” like he enjoyed that laugh. I look at his forehead, hoping he’ll go on.

No one who isn’t part of my family has ever offered to explain other people to me like this. It’s making me feel closer to Carter already, like maybe we’re becoming friends.

I think I’d like to have a friend. It’s been years since the last one.

“Anyway, Adam is brave as hell, and a good man. He has a good sense of humor and if he’s smirking, then you can bet he’s teasing someone.

If he’s smiling normally, then he’s only happy or enjoying the moment.

He’ll always look people in the eye when he’s talking to them, except for when he’s too emotional or trying not to laugh.

” I nod to show Carter I’m paying attention, while also making an effort to file the information in my brain.

He’s making a lot of effort to “explain” his friends to me, and I don’t want him to think I’m not taking it seriously or appreciating it.

“Now, Sebas. He’s Adam’s husband, and he’s a sculptor.

He owns one of the galleries I work at. We call him our drama queen; he’s very exuberant.

If he shouts and screams or laughs loudly, then you can assume he’s exaggerating.

Actually, he always says how he’s feeling, now that I think about it.

If he gets quiet, and his face is serious, that’s when you know he’s having big feelings.

If he’s silent but smiling, he’s really happy.

Silent and frowning, probably really mad.

Silent and crying, then you should get Adam straight away.

If he does something that makes you uncomfortable, you can tell him straight away and he’ll respect your wishes and even defend them to others.

He’s also almost always joking around, and can never keep a straight face. ”

I smile at the list, and the way he goes through it.

“They sound like nice people.”

“They are,” he confirms.

“Next are George and Glenn. When it comes to George, what you see is what you get, but he can be very monotone with his expressions unless he’s looking at Glenn, so we’re gonna tell him he needs to express his emotions verbally.

Glenn is a bit like you, academically brilliant.

He’s a physicist, and he’s working at MIT now on his second PhD, in quantum mechanics, whatever that means. ”

I know what that means, but I stay quiet because I don’t want to interrupt Carter. He looks so focused. It’s drawing me in, and his soothing voice is keeping me captive and motionless.

“Anyway, Glenn is also very straightforward, and outside maybe Theo—we’ll get to him in a second—I think he’s the one you’ll get along with the best. I believe if you tell any of them you’re Autistic right away, they’ll immediately be mindful of talking in a way that will bring you into the conversation and include you, you know? They’re all good guys.”

“They won’t make fun of me?” I ask point blank.

Carter reels back, looking almost... hurt? Did I hurt him? I quickly explain because I don’t want that.

“People have made fun of me before. My brothers do it sometimes, but since they turned nine my mom told me I can retaliate with tickles and noogies, so that’s kept them in line.”

I have no clue if my explanation helped since Carter is now just staring with his mouth open. A long moment passes and then he closes his mouth and shakes his head a few times, closing his eyes tightly.

“No one will make fun of you,” he says, his voice sounding deeper this time, and his eyebrows are scrunched up in a deep frown. Is he mad?

“Are you mad?” I decide to come out and ask. It’s the best way to learn all his expressions.

“Yes,” he says simply.

“Why?”

“Because people making fun of you makes me mad. It reminded me that this world is full of assholes and you don’t deserve that.”

“Oh. ”

I’m not usually lost for words, but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react. After thinking about it for a moment I decide it feels nice, that he’s mad on my behalf.

“But anyway, none of my friends will make fun of you, trust me.”

I remember how at the airport I wondered why London trusted him when he was practically a stranger, but now I understand.

It’s taken me some years to trust myself again—trust my intuition, the one that’s still so flawed but does the job well enough.

So when I realize I do trust him, of course it’s a shock, and you can hear it when I speak.

“I do,” I murmur.

He tilts his head to the side, and reminds me a bit of Sonny, my Bernese Mountain Dog who passed away more than a decade ago.

“Good,” Carter says in a strong voice and nods once. “So next are Mike and Theo. Mike is the?—”

“Center for the New York Kings,” I say with a nod. “He’s an amazing player.”

“He is,” Carter agrees with a soft smile. “And he’s a sweetheart. He has the best belly laugh. If you think my laugh is nice, wait till you hear his. It’s like joy in a sound.”

“ The Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack is joy in a sound.”

Carter lets out one loud burst of laughter and my lips twitch.

“You might be right about that, mate, but Mike’s laugh is right up there with it.

So anyway, Mike loves food, and...” He trails off and tilts his head back to look at the sky.

I think he looks pensive. “Yes, he’s pretty expressive with his face.

Theo is more reserved, definitely not as boisterous, quiet, but also a sweetheart.

He’s a baker and he can be hard to read when you first meet him, but he’d never hurt you or make fun of you.

His story is his to tell, but I think you’ll have a lot in common with him. ”

“Is he Autistic too?” I wonder.

“No,” Carter says simply. I think about what that means for a moment. He’s given me a lot of information freely, but not this. Why?

The logical explanation is that it’s something he considers sensitive, and maybe personal to Theo and doesn’t want to break his trust. I remember Dad explaining how people don’t often offer up information that seems too sensitive for them or too personal, and how others don’t mind being completely open about their history or issues.

Mental health is something a lot of people deem too personal to share with others, so I think that might be it. Maybe Theo has some kind of anxiety like me and that’s why Carter said we have more in common?

That somehow makes me relax even more with Carter. He’s clearly a good friend. How much he knows about all these people is a clear indicator if nothing else.

“Now, Bidi and Josie. Bidi is non-binary, and they are the life of any party. They’ll join any game, dance to every song, and basically have a good time no matter the day or the place.

Josie is a friend of ours from college too.

She’s a social worker in San Diego where they both live, and she was Adam and Sebas’s surrogate for their daughter, Dani. ”

I nod, making sure I’m still paying attention and keeping everyone straight in my head.

“Josie’s a joker, just like Sebas, and if she’s frowning, then yeah, she’s mad but not really.

She gets over things very quickly, and she and Wolf bicker a lot.

It sounds like they hate each other when they talk, but I promise you they don’t.

They are weird, though, so don’t feel bad if they confuse you.

If you tell them, they’ll explain their dynamic to you. Hawk you know already, right?”

“Yes, he’s very sweet, but also loud. He’s always been loud as far as I can remember, and it’s hard to keep track of his thoughts, but I’m used to that.”

“Good. So Hawk’s husband, Derek, is a bit like Wolf. He’s frowning all the time, but he melts for Hawk. Unless you truly upset Hawk then you have nothing to worry about when it comes to Derek. If you want to talk to him, ask him about football or home-cooked meals, he loves both.”

I nod along.

“Next are Bennett and Luke.”

“Luke Riggs, the quarterback of the Las Vegas Rogues?” I ask just to make sure.

“Yes. They have two kids, Lizzie who is four and Robbie who is three, both adopted. Robbie is actually Luke’s little brother. Again, they’re both pretty laid-back, will do anything to help a friend, and their facial expressions are pretty typical. Then last are CJ and Wolf.”

“I know Wolf well, and he’s always been patient with me, though we don’t interact much.”

“That’s probably more to do with him than you. ”

“Yes, I know,” I tell him, wondering what made him think I thought it was about me.

“Good. CJ is a lot like Adam, actually. Funny, always a joker, and doesn’t take life too seriously anymore. He’s happy to talk about anything and everything, and he’s very clever too.”

“What does he do for a living?”

“He’s a resident, working to be a surgeon.”

I nod. “Got it.”

“I think that’s everyone,” he says, and looks almost like he’s distracted when he turns to look down at where everyone is.

I keep looking at him, honestly uninterested in anything else.

I have no clue how long we’ve been here. It’s hard to keep track of time when you’re not looking at your phone and night has fallen.

“Hey,” Carter says, and I sit up, thinking he’s talking to me. But then comes a chorus of “hey,” and I follow his gaze to see all those friends I now know a lot more about walking up the small hill toward us.

“Why are you sitting on the ground?” one of them asks, looking at Carter and then at me. His eyes narrow slightly, and I’m not sure why, but I look away regardless.

I think that’s George—I’m pretty sure. I’ve seen George play as a wide receiver for the Boston Sharks.

“We came up here to get away from all the noise,” Carter tells him, his voice very calm. There’s something different about it, though, something I can’t describe. “Have you guys met Liam?” he asks them all and motions to me with a nod.