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LILIANA

“ D ad, this is ridiculous,” I complain, sitting in the living room with Mr. Emil and my father.

This is an intervention. I was called out of my room after a shower and a nap. I only exist from one killing to the next. It’s how I fill my hours of existence now.

“No, it’s not,” Mr. Emil says. “You’re wracking up a kill count at an unprecedented rate. You’re nineteen years old, Liliana. There will be plenty of time to join the family business after college.”

“What if I need it?” I whisper, wincing. “It’s the only thing that calms down my anger. And no, therapy to talk about my feelings about this isn’t on the table. We agreed.”

“Yes, we did,” Dad says, glancing at Mr. Emil. “Do you want to tell her?”

“You’re both making me very nervous,” I say with a pout. Slowly, over the last few months, I’ve lost my healthy fear of my new boss.

“I am expanding the business into California,” Mr. Emil begins to explain. “Well, I have been expanding for the past year, but I need an enforcer out there to keep people in line now.”

“Okay,” I drawl. “I’ll bite. You just complained that I’ve been killing too often. Why would you offer the job to me, if that’s what you’re doing?”

Mr. Emil has been paying me very well, but one of the caveats to it is that I continue to live in my father’s home. Since I don’t really have the will to look for anywhere else to live, I agreed without hesitation.

Some people drink, pop pills, or cut to dull their grief. I carve my sadness away while I torture and kill. My control has gotten better over the summer, and I can draw the pain out longer before the person I’m torturing expires.

“I am, but I’m having an issue with someone,” Mr. Emil says. “One of the men I have up there, his son, is selling GHB at one of the universities. You know I don’t deal in the date rape shit. I want it handled, please.”

“This means that you’ll be attending the University of California, Santa Barbara as a freshman,” Dad says, dropping the other shoe.

Fuck me.

“I don’t want to go to college,” I sigh. “I know that we agreed to defer for Princeton, but my head isn’t in it.”

“Well, get your head in it,” Mr. Emil growls. “I need you there. Princeton is off the table now, Liliana. If you want to be an asset to me and the organization, sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do.”

“Yes, your highness,” I mutter, much to my father’s amusement. “Are you going to also tell me what to major in?”

“Actually, I am,” Mr. Emil says.

That’s wonderful. I make a sound that’s a cross between a groan and strangled sound, and wait for him to tell me. It’s exactly like him to do this. We’re all players on a board for him to move around.

While I know this, I can still be annoyed about it.

“Care to share with the class?” I ask, swallowing hard at my father’s glower.

Maybe I’m pushing my luck just a little.

“Photography and business is what you’re going to be majoring in,” he says. “You need to find your passion again, and Santa Barbara is beautiful. There’s beaches, cliffs, and rainy weather. It’ll almost be like living in Portland.”

Hmmph. I highly doubt that, Dad.

“For the record, I’m going for the promise of killing people,” I say wryly. “Where am I living? Please tell me not the student dorms. I don’t think I could deal with roommates.”

Mr. Emil snorts to himself. “No, mija. I don’t see that going well either. Pretty pink California princesses aren’t really your vibe,” he says.

Shaking my head, I cross my arms over my chest as I get comfortable on the sofa. I feel like a child who is in trouble right now, and there will be a lot to plan as they pace.

There’s got to be more than they’re telling me. The breadcrumbs of information are making me insane, so I take a breath and wait silently for them to tell me what I need to know.

Argh, this level of discipline sucks, but it’s necessary. Sit in the silence and wait, and then wait some more.

“I bought you a house near the school,” Dad says. “You’ll be able to commute in and also will be near where Maurice and his men are grouped. They work under Emil’s orders, but without the boss hovering over them…”

“Sometimes they stray from what their orders are,” Mr. Emil says, rubbing his face tiredly.

I bet he’s not sleeping well either. “I need the eyes of someone that I completely trust, Liliana. I’ll give you the opportunity to learn everything about the major and minor players working up there for me, and then you’re on your own. ”

“We will expect updates, Lili,” Dad says. “You also have to leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?!” I yelp. “Seriously? You couldn’t give a girl a little more of a head start? When does the school year start anyway?”

“Three days,” Dad replies. “Start packing.”

“This is fucking crazy,” I grumble, pushing myself up to stand.

“Here’s what you need to start learning,” Mr. Emil says, handing me a flash drive. “Don’t lose that.”

“I won’t,” I sigh.

“Don’t get soft,” Dad calls as I start to walk. “Keep up your running and exercise.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I agree. I have abs of steel now, and I’m still running with Dad and his guards every morning, regardless of how much sleep I get.

College, ha. That’s rich. I’ve lost my sanity by this point. The summer just let it dwindle away until there was nothing left. I’m unsure that this school is ready for this version of me, and Mr. Emil’s men better not fuck him over or I’ll make sure that the very walls run with blood.

Stalking across the house, I climb the stairs to begin packing. I don’t need much outside of my clothes and weapons. Everything else I can buy in Santa Barbara.

I’m parked at this adorable house, wondering if my father and Mr. Emil were smoking pot while they were looking for homes for me.

Picking up the phone, I gaze at it before calling my father.

“Am I being pranked?” I ask when he picks up. “5678 Los Olvios Road is the address, right? Dad, there’s a picket fence!”

“It’s not white ,” Dad says dismissively.

He’s correct, it is a deep, rich brown, but still.

“ It’s close to the school, has its own backyard, and is far enough away from neighbors that you’ll be able to move without worrying about people seeing a little blood after an execution. Have you been inside yet?”

“No, I’m still sitting in the car, parked on the street in shock,” I grumble.

“There’s a secret room for an office, a basement, and Mr. Emil made you a panic room off the closet of your room,” he says, trying to sweeten my mood.

Until now, I knew more about the men I’m babysitting than where I’m living.

Truthfully, I’m anxious about living alone. It’s why I spent more nights with Rachelle than at my house when my father was away. I also am incredibly angry that I didn’t insist on spending the night in my panic room rather than at Mr. Emil’s home the night she was taken.

The guys got in without any effort, and stole her away after drugging Ignacio and I. Thank God that the effects didn’t last nearly as long on Nacio, but it still wasn’t enough to save Rachelle’s life.

The shitty thing is, those drugs never came up in our blood tests, and I insisted on being tested. Every move was planned to viciously steal Rachelle from us. Fucking Jared and his pharmaceutical background.

I have so many regrets that they could fill the hole they dug for her, there are that many.

I appreciate that Mr. Emil and my father thought to provide a solution to my many fears about living alone, but I’m still not sold that it’ll help my anxiety. Fuck it, I can just make that room my bedroom.

“How big is the panic room?” I ask finally, blowing out a breath.

“ You can go and see for yourself, Lili ,” Dad says impatiently.

Shaking my head, despite the fact that he can’t see me, I say, “No. Tell me.”

“It’s large enough to set up a bed in it ,” he sighs. “I already have everything in the panic room, including the fridge, emergency cell phone booster that’ll override anyone attempting to cut you off from calling out, video camera footage and feeds, and an emergency generator to power it all.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” I say weakly, collapsing fully against my seat. I never call him that and a small sob escapes from my lips before I clamp them together.

“ Liliana ,” Dad says softly. “Mijita, please. You don’t have to do this if you don’t think you can. I thought you were being a brat about the house, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

“I just keep thinking about how they took her,” I whisper, tears flowing down my cheeks. “It could have happened to me. I tried to grab my gun, but Theo overpowered me.”

“ No matter how much we train, we aren’t invincible, ” he reminds me. “ I heard he had scratches all over his face that no one bothered to question. What are the odds that your girl did that?”

I love that he acknowledges that she was mine, because she was.

“I didn’t know that. She probably fought like hell,” I rasp. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know ,” he says honestly. “ We’ve all been in survival mode since she died. Pieces of information bubble up here and there, and that’s what I remembered.”

“Okay,” I say. It’s clear he wasn’t just keeping it from me. The last couple of months have been fucking rough. “I’m ready to go inside. There isn’t a driveway. Did you know that?”

“ It’s at the back of the house ,” he says. “ The gate faces the street, but if you go around in your car, you’ll find a driveway is there with a garage. The backyard is a courtyard filled with flowers and has a swing. It separates the driveway from the main house.”

“Wow,” I mutter, looking around to make sure I’m safe to get out of the car. It just reminds me of how easily Ignacio found me since my car is so easily spotted. “On second thought, I’m going to go around with the car. I also think that I may need a more low key vehicle.”