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IGNACIO

K issing my sleeping girls as they curl around each other, I slide out of bed.

Rachelle has her head on Lili’s chest and her leg thrown over her, while Liliana has her arms wrapped around Rachelle.

I know they’ll be alright while I’m downstairs talking to the guys.

I heard the door open and close, which is my cue to get moving.

Lili, Rachelle, and I had a really good dinner and then spent time catching up. The two of them are exhausted and naked, happily sated from the sex we had after we came upstairs. Hopefully this will keep the nightmares away as well.

Finding a pair of jeans, I pull them on and leave the button open before locking the girls inside the room. I'm still feeling twitchy and paranoid about their safety. It doesn’t matter where we are, if it’s not a safe room, I’ll continue to feel this way.

Bare chested and barefoot, I pad down to where the guys are in the kitchen pulling out containers from the fridge. The three of them glance briefly at me before continuing to heat up food. I’ve noticed that Calvin meal preps for them for when they get home late from work.

“Hey,” Jared says, sitting down with a bowl of rice, chicken, and vegetables. Theo and Elijah soon follow, and it almost feels nostalgic. “Everything quiet here for the most part?”

My lips curl up without meaning to. If Liliana and Rachelle are quiet during sex, then none of us are doing it right.

Before I can respond, Elijah leans forward on the counter. “I doubt they were quiet, Jared. He and Liliana have been gone for two weeks.”

“I didn’t mean that kind of quiet,” Jared says with a chuckle. “Dude, are you allergic to wearing shirts now?”

Glancing down at myself, I shrug. I know exactly what I’m doing to them. Theo looks at me as if he wants to fucking eat me, while Elijah will sigh and look away. Jared likes to pretend it doesn’t bother him at all, but that’s a damn lie. I don’t have to make this easy for them.

“I barely pulled on pants to see you,” I say with a smirk. “Why would I bother with a shirt?”

“Moving on,” Theo says, rolling his eyes. It doesn’t stop him from glaring at the button I left undone though. “You’re a fucking cock tease, Nacio.”

“Only to you,” I say evenly. “What did you want to talk about, and where’s my drink?”

Elijah gets up to walk to a glass cabinet, and I feel slightly bad for making him get up. However, I really want to be done with this so I can go back to Rachelle and Liliana. She has weapons in arms reach, but I’ll feel better if I’m there.

We were gone too long.

“We need to fix this between us,” Jared sighs. “We’re never going to go away. I’m married to Rachelle, and I will refuse her a divorce. I obviously don’t need monogamy, detest the conventional form of it actually. I hate that we fucked up our friendship.”

“Me too,” Elijah says, coming back with a bottle of scotch and glasses. I would have been fine with a beer, but this works too.

Pouring out about an inch of liquor, I gaze back at my childhood friends.

“I’m willing to help you fix things with Rachelle,” I say finally, taking a sip of my drink.

The flavor coats my tongue, and is very smooth. This may be my first drink out of prison, cheers for it to be one of the best scotches that there is.

“I’m not part of that deal though. I lost two years of my life, I’m good. I don’t care if you weren’t directly responsible,” I grunt.

“Then why not?” Elijah asks. “I feel as if we’re being punished from all sides. If anything, I’m the reason that this whole situation escalated to a fucking coffin.”

“While that’s very noble of you, I started this entire shit show,” I say, raising my glass. “I’m in love with Liliana and Rachelle. Lili would be happy to give you some one on one time with her knives, but she understands that Rachelle is implicitly pulled to each of you.”

“So you’re willing to smooth things over for us, but the four of us aren’t worth fighting for?” Theo asks shrewdly. He’s always been the smartest of us all.

“It’s more so that she needs you more,” I say honestly. “I had way too much to think about while in prison. Her happiness comes first. You’ve been fumbling around trying to figure out what she needs.”

Jared growls without words, while I flick him off. He can huff and puff all he wants, I’ll remain standing.

“Jared told you she’s extremely private, yes?” Theo asks calmly. At my nod, he continues, “Outside of reading her mind or her journal, we can’t figure out what she needs. Rachelle curls in on herself and practically goes mute.”

“She’s been living alone for two years essentially,” I remind them.

“She’s had only her own thoughts to fill her time.

That’s what she’s used to. The only reason I’m not more taciturn is…

I used to get myself purposely thrown into solitary confinement so I could daydream about them.

All I’ve wanted to do is spend more time with them. ”

“Rachelle was in a lot of pain when she started her period, and she teared up thinking about how much she missed you,” Jared sighs. “Maybe we’re pushing too much. Should we just bow out? Does my wife actually need us?”

The way he calls her that makes me smirk. Jared really embraced his role as her husband.

“The unresolved issues are fucking with her head,” I explain.

“Just because Liliana and I know her better doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

The way you’re doing it isn’t working. Elijah you can’t apologize and then push her until she explodes on you.

Edging her is also fucking rude unless you’re planning to make her come soon after.

The power dynamic play you guys enjoy is only okay if she knows the rules.

Otherwise, it feels like you’re being hot and cold. ”

Rachelle told me everything that’s happened while I’ve been gone. There are no secrets, and it’s helping me lay out my cards on the table.

“Argh,” Theo groans. “We may have edged and teased her.”

“Yeah, fucker, I know,” I mutter.

“She told you everything over the two weeks?” Jared asks.

“There’s no secrets between us unless it’s something we haven’t had time to talk about,” I say firmly.

“I also don’t consider something a secret if Rachelle isn’t ready to talk about it.

Though, in that case, Liliana can help me tease the information out of her.

She’s still really innocent despite the life she’s led. ”

“It’s hard to remember that sometimes,” Elijah says. “Rachelle has had a shit hand dealt to her, and when we say things, she’ll blush almost to her hairline. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Compliments will get you everywhere,” I say to add to that. “Make sure they’re genuine. Rachelle was with you during a really weird time for her. She was starting new meds, flooded with hormones from her period, and in pain. I’m just happy she didn’t kill any of you.”

“Is her period always like that?” Jared asks, looking pale.

Snorting, I nod. “Liliana is just as bad. I had this really crazy dream once in prison that they were both pregnant at the exact same time.”

“So you want kids?” Theo asks, eyes narrowing.

“Not right away, but yeah. Rachelle may not be able to be on her medication while pregnant. It’s something we’d have to discuss with a doctor to ensure we don’t fuck her over,” I mutter. “Did you really get your sex club psychiatrist to prescribe her medication?”

“It sounds so much worse when you say it like that,” Elijah says, rubbing his face tiredly. He’s been picking at his food and pushes it away finally. “Everywhere we called had a long waiting list or were shady shits. Dr. Parker was the best option.”

“Rachelle said that the meeting went well, but he asked a lot of questions,” I reply. “She’s gun shy around anyone in the psych field, and rightfully so.”

“Dr. Parker asked me why she looked like she was two seconds from passing out while they talked,” Jared grumbles.

“He’s really good at his job, but everyone has fucked Rachelle over in the medical field.

It doesn’t matter how well intentioned her first trip to the psych ward was. She was only fifteen.”

“All the bad shit seems to happen around then,” Elijah says, leaning his head on his fist. He looks really tired. “The past feels like it’s looming over our heads, taunting us.”

“Maybe that’s the issue,” I muse. “Rachelle and I don’t really talk about the past. She’s accepted my part in things, and has moved past it because she loves me. Give her shit to look forward to.”

“Like what?” Theo asks, his elbows hitting the island as he rakes his fingers through his hair.

“We realized we both like the same band the other day, and when I suggested going together, she shut down. We fucking made her agoraphobic. Rachelle does well at the shop and out in our backyard, but leaving to go anywhere else is hard for her.”

“Before you say something dumb like that we should have patience, we do,” Elijah says, jumping in.

I didn’t say shit, but go off now. “We have a system. The four of us walk to the door, open it and let her stare out while we hold her hand. Each time it gets better, however, her body fucking trembles as if she’s standing on the edge of a cliff. ”

“Today was the best she’s done,” Jared adds. “We went out to lunch today and picked her up. She had a shake and French fries and smiled the entire time while we were at a diner. Rachelle skipped dinner because she wasn’t hungry, so we let it go.”

“Her medication may be kicking in,” I remind them.

“This is why it’s so important to make sure nothing compromises that.

She mentioned she hasn’t been to a gynecologist. Liliana is going to take her to the clinic tomorrow afternoon for birth control.

We may be coming out of some of her anxiety. That’s good.”

“Rachelle bounces back really well,” Theo says. “Her resiliency blows me away. I keep waiting for her to lose her shit, but she just reins it back in.”