Page 26
Hannah
It’s been a couple of weeks since Leo and I announced that we’re a couple, or should I say that Leo announced it, since I was just sort of nervously standing in the background.
It turned out that pretty much everyone who works here, including our bosses, had this pool going on when we would hook up, and they still don’t know when it happened.
Leo and I have been totally silent about it all, but I’m not sure why.
I think it’s more to fuck with them than us actually wanting to keep the details private.
It’s been fun holding it over everyone’s heads and only us knowing exactly what happened.
Secrets at Somerville’s don’t stay hidden very long, so we’re going to keep this going.
The day we announced that Leo and I were together, he also dropped a bombshell on me that I was made head chef of the Somerville restaurant.
I didn’t see it coming and I’m still in shock, finding it hard to believe that when it reopens, I’ll be the one in charge.
It feels amazing and to have it happen here is even better.
I always thought I would have had to spend years working in the industry and years working for a prick like Roy Langston, taking the ridicule and feeling beaten down, before I would have ever found myself in this position.
I’ve finally finished the new menu items, trying them out after the restaurant at Apple Jacks is closed with Leo by my side, tasting everything and helping me perfect the recipes.
Today I’m meeting with Ellen to go over them with her and get final approval.
With Lauren on maternity leave and Jack focused on Apple Jacks, Ellen has taken over.
Since Apple Jacks is currently open and thriving, I’ve invited Ellen over to my little cottage to do some tasting and to talk about hiring new staff. When the restaurant reopens, it will not only have been updated, it will also be almost twice the size, requiring more employees and more menu items.
I’m plating a few small bites of everything just as a knock comes on my front door.
“Come in!” I call out, knowing it’s Ellen.
The door swings open and of course, not only Ellen walks in, but she has the twins heading in right along with her.
“Sorry,” she starts, shaking her head. “Will’s traveling for work and my sitter just canceled, so these two will be joining us.
But they have assured me they will keep to themselves.
” Ellen looks over her shoulder at them as they flop down on my couch, pulling out their iPads.
I hear the theme song to The Simpsons start up and they both seem to be lost in their own world.
After getting busted ratting Leo and me out to Ellen, they seem to have settled down a little bit.
With their crazy Uncle Jack wrapped up in the birth of his own twins, these two don’t seem to have the partner in crime that they used to.
I’m sure that will change once Lauren and Jack are settled, and Olivia and Oscar will be back with a vengeance, getting into all kinds of trouble with Jack backing them up.
“Hey!” she shouts and Oscar and Olivia’s heads spring up, looking at her and smiling sweetly.
You’d never know these two get up to no good when left to their own devices.
They look so sweet and innocent. “Remember what I said?” She narrows her eyes at them and they both nod, giggling at their mom’s funny face.
“We won’t get into anyone’s business,” Oscar assures her, just as Olivia chimes in adding, “And we won’t talk about how Leo and Hannah were kissing.”
I laugh out loud at Olivia’s comment. Either she completely missed what her mom was telling her or she’s a cheeky little shit who’s trying to get under her mom’s skin. Either way, she’s pretty damn funny.
“Yeah, something like that,” Ellen mutters, turning back to me. “Sorry. I swear it’s like they’re being raised by wild animals. I think it’s called strong-willed,” she now jokes. “I call it wine club.”
I laugh at her joke, knowing she’s a great mom and works incredibly hard to keep a business running and keep her family in check.
“So, I have a few things for you to try,” I say, sliding a plate over to her. “This is a smoky gouda macaroni and cheese, paired with the new rosé that’s currently being aged, it will be perfect.”
“I was hoping you’d incorporate some of the new wines we have in the works,” Ellen says, taking a bite of the macaroni and cheese. “Oh my god,” she moans out. “This is amazing. You can really taste the smokiness.”
“I think it would also pair well with a lighter chardonnay, unoaked,” I reply, and it feels so weird to be sitting here having this conversation with someone who is as excited about this as I am.
“For sure. Hopefully the rosé will be ready to go by the time the restaurant reopens, and we can make sure to add all the bin numbers and pairs to the menu.”
“Already on it,” I say with far too much excitement and Ellen laughs when I present her with a typed up proof of the menu.
“I love that you’re so on top of this. I’ll make sure to send you the info for our graphic designer and the two of you can work on new layouts for the menu, and I’d love for her to work with you and Leo to get pictures of the menu items so we can get them on the website,” Ellen adds, and it takes everything in me not squeal out loud.
I’m going to be working with a graphic designer and photographers and creating all of this from scratch. All of it will have my name on it; I’ll have had a hand in everything.
“That sounds…it sounds amazing,” I reply, at a loss for a better word.
“We’re just so glad Dylan had you apply here, and that Leo was able to convince you that you wanted to work here,” Ellen answers back, and again, I have to keep my mouth shut.
I have to keep myself from blurting out the truth.
It was me who begged Dylan to get me a job here.
There was zero convincing happening. I would have taken the job if Leo had told me I was going to be peeling potatoes in the back room.
We go through several more menu items, this time sampling them with the wine pairings I have chosen, and Ellen has yet to nix any of them.
I really expected her to have more of an opinion one way or another, but she seems to love everything.
I know I’m a great chef, but even great chefs can make mistakes in combinations or pairings.
Just as we’re about to move onto a few new dessert ideas, Olivia stands up and announces that she has to use the bathroom. My place isn’t very big, so I point in the direction of the small hallway that leads to my bedroom and the bathroom. She can’t miss it.
Ellen and I get back to what we are doing, chatting more now about everything but the food. The conversation is flowing like I’m talking to a friend rather than my boss and I’m sure Ellen is enjoying the fact that her kids are quiet and distracted.
We’re both laughing as she shares the hilarious story about how she met her husband Will, and just as I’m about to ask her a question, Olivia returns from the bathroom. Interrupting us, she asks, “Why do you have a baguette in your bathroom?”
First of all, only a ten-year-old who has grown up at a winery would use the word baguette and second, I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about.
“I don’t have a baguette in my bathroom,” I reply, chuckling a little as I look over at Ellen, hoping she has some clue as to what Olivia is talking about. Maybe she doesn’t even know what the word baguette means.
“You do. Hang on, I’ll go get it,” she replies with certainty and Ellen shrugs, standing up to follow Olivia. But before Ellen can reach her, she proudly struts out of my bathroom holding my stupid fucking suction dildo.
Both Ellen and I freeze, and it feels like hours tick by as Olivia stands there holding my dildo, it jiggling around in her hand like a Jell-O cube on a plate, and I’m certain my face is bright red.
“Oh my god,” Ellen finally spits out, her voice a high pitch wail as she reaches for the dildo, but pulls back, realizing it’s in her best judgment not to touch it.
This is not fucking happening to me!
This right here is why I’m never having kids!
In all the commotion and me standing here like a complete moron doing nothing, Oscar walks up, assessing the situation. His eyes float over to his sister and the oversized dong she’s holding and as if to make my mortification even worse, he yells out, “Ewww, Olivia, that’s a penis!”
This causes her to literally toss it in the air and all four of us watch as my dildo flies across my kitchen, hitting the floor with a thud and coming to rest at my feet.
I quickly grab it, not knowing what the hell to even do with it at this point. I put it behind my back, my face feeling like it’s on fire, I have no idea how to respond.
“I’m so sorry,” I stutter out, closing my eyes tightly, far more embarrassed than I have ever been in my life and that’s saying a lot, because one time I actually peed my pants in the Taco Bell drive-thru when I was drunk.
“Nope,” Ellen instantly replies, shaking her head. “This is one hundred percent not your fault. I am so sorry.”
“Why is everyone apologizing?” Olivia asks, a confused look on her face. “Was it a baguette or a penis? Why do you have it in your bathroom?”
I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Not that I have an explanation that would be plausible or acceptable to say in front of two ten-year-olds and my boss.
“We are going to go now,” Ellen juts in, saving me from having to explain what the fuck is happening right now. I don’t even know what’s happening right now. “Awesome job on the menu. And fudge me and my life, I’m so sorry.”
It’s hard not to smile at Ellen’s use of the word “fudge” in place of the word “fuck” and I nod, assuring her that everything is fine, even though we both know everything is not fine.
“We’ll talk more tomorrow,” Ellen adds and again I nod, at a loss for all words, even the word “goodbye” seems to be gone from my vocabulary.
She grabs both the kids, ushering them out the door and into the car.
I watch from where I’m standing, my eyes on the window in my living room that looks out over the front of my house.
And when I watch them pull away and drive off down the gravel road, I collapse on the floor, the fucking dildo still in my hands.
I feel like I’m either going to puke or die of embarrassment.
I’m now sitting in the darkness of my house, the dildo on the coffee table in front of me, my legs folded up underneath me as I try to process what the fuck happened.
My boss, her kids and I all had what I can only describe as a traumatic experience and something I will one day talk about with my therapist. I’m forever going to have dildo PTSD, and I can only imagine what is going to happen when Olivia and Oscar realize that I had a masturbation toy in my bathroom.
Someday it is going to hit them, and I’ll be forever embedded in their memory as the lady with the dildo.
This is my life.
“Hey, babe,” Leo says, walking into the dark cottage and flipping on the light switch by the front door, sending the room into a blinding light, almost like a spotlight on the offending item that sits in front of me.
“You okay?” he now asks when I don’t respond, and then adds, “Why is your dildo on the coffee table?”
“Leo,” I wail, burying my face in my hands as he sits down next to me. He wraps a comforting arm around me, not even knowing what is going on, he’s already soothing me. “Olivia found my dildo in the bathroom and oh my fucking god!”
I now throw my head back, looking up at the ceiling. I don’t know whether to start crying or start laughing.
“And Ellen was here going over menu items,” I continue to whine dramatically. “Leo, oh my fucking god, it was so fucking embarrassing!” I flop over to the side, my head falling into his lap.
And just when I think he’s going to say something to help appease my embarrassment, he bursts into an uncontrollable laughter.
“What are you laughing at?” I shriek, sitting up so I can look at him.
“Did you not hear what I said? Ellen and the kids saw my dildo! The one you and I use in the shower! You realize I’m going to have to burn it now and there will be no more of you watching me get myself off and we are never having kids! ”
I shove him as he continues laughing, reaching for the dildo, he’s now shaking it around just like Olivia did.
“This dildo has been a great source of entertainment,” he teases, poking me in the side with it. “We are never getting rid of it.”