Page 16

NOD IF YOU UNDERSTAND

GRACE

H e’s back. That’s the fourth time today and the ninth time since I woke yesterday morning.

I don’t know how long I laid unconscious before waking in my bed.

All I know is that, while I slept, someone healed my body.

I assume Cora. I haven’t asked. I haven’t spoken a single word to Sebastian or to the servant who brings my meals.

I haven’t spoken to anyone at all, and I’m not planning for that to change.

If they need me to break their curse, they’ll have to figure it out without my cooperation. Until the moment that creature stabbed through me, I’d been willing to help. I’d even told Sebastian that, and how did he repay me?

He fed me to a literal beast and expected a thank you for not letting it kill me.

Now, Sebastian stands in my doorway. He wears a crisp white shirt, black slacks, and the same long coat he wore to abduct me from the human realm. He’s regarding me with a hesitant expression, and it’s somehow more unsettling than his usual arrogant one.

It’s as though he can’t decide whether I’m worth dealing with. Like maybe he should just kill me and use my corpse to break the curse.

Let him try , I think. Maybe, when my magic comes the next time, I’ll use it to kill him.

If only I knew how to make death stick on him.

“You haven’t eaten,” is the first thing he says. He crosses his arms over his wide chest, frowning at me.

I don’t reply. I roll onto my side, turning to face the stone wall instead of him. Truthfully, my body is sore from laying in bed for two days straight. I’ve only gotten up a handful of times to go to the bathroom. Other than that, I’ve laid right here, staring and sulking.

“I brought your electronic,” he says next.

He means the laptop he gave me a week ago.

It has Legally Blonde downloaded on it, along with a few rom-coms. That has tempted me far more than the regular delivery of tomato soup.

Time would pass faster if I could rot my brain with some classic movies.

But watching a movie feels as good as admitting defeat, as complying .

I’d rather starve and die of boredom than let Sebastian think he’s won.

“Grace,” he says.

I close my eyes, squeezing them until they hurt.

“Come,” he says. “I’ll walk you to the washroom.”

Usually, Beatrice is the one who babysits my bathroom breaks.

“I’d rather pee the bed,” I tell him. I’ve still got my eyes closed and my back to him, and yet, I feel when he moves from the doorway.

In all the time I’ve been here, Sebastian has rarely entered my cell. It’s unsettling, feeling him lurk over me, his legs bumping my mattress. My entire body clenches without permission .

“Come,” he says again. “You can’t lay here forever. Let’s skip the theatrics, shall we? There’s too much work to be?—”

“Go to hell, Sebastian,” I say. I lurch into a seated position, satisfied when he startles. “I’m done trying to help you. You’re a terrible person, and you know what? The witches were right. You all deserve to burn.”

His jaw ticks, but for once, the man doesn’t respond. He only watches me, face carefully still, eyes recklessly wild. He opens his mouth. Closes it. And finally, leaves, slamming the door behind him.

I stare for over a minute before believing he’s left for good. Then, I roll onto my side and drift back to sleep.

I don’t know what day it is. I have no idea how much time I’ve lost while in the Echo, only that the world must be looking for me by now.

Even if Tessa didn’t report me missing, Libby would have.

There are probably pictures of my face on telephone poles and on news segments.

I bet Libby has a whole mob of people sharing my story on social media.

They could spend the rest of their lives hunting for me, but they’ll never find me here. I’m not sure they could, even if they knew about the doorway Sebastian used in Aberlena University.

I stare at myself in the mirror. My occasional trips to the bathroom are the only time I leave my room. Sebastian hasn’t returned since I snapped at him, and though I’m relieved, I’m also going insane.

I touch my cheeks, studying the sharp angles of my face. I’ve lost too much weight, and yet, I no longer feel the pangs of hunger. The black clothes Beatrice brought today are baggy and boyish, but I don’t care to complain. Who cares if the fabric swallows me alive? I feel dead anyway.

“Is your plan to sleep for the rest of your life?”

I startle at the sound of Beatrice’s voice.

In the past, she’s never entered the bathroom while I’m in it.

I meet her expectant gaze in the mirror.

While I look like a skinny wet rat, my skin flushed from the hot shower, Beatrice is beautiful and put together.

I’m not sure if they have clubs in this hellish world, but she always looks ready for a night out.

“I’m not sleeping now,” I say. I trail a finger from my cheekbone, over my jaw and down my throat. My skin looks like crap. It hasn’t seen moisturizer in weeks, and my diet of tomato soup and bread isn’t helping. Not that I’ve eaten in days anyway.

“Yeah, because you had to pee,” she says.

“And shower.”

“He’s going to lose his patience with you eventually,” she says. I’ve gone back to studying myself, but I can still see her in my peripheral vision.

She’s a vampire. I can see her in the mirror.

Yet another myth, broken.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t already,” she adds. She’s less than a foot from me now, her breath tickling my neck. She smells like iron, like blood . “I’ve been nothing but supportive of his decisions, but truly, Grace, I wish he’d let me kill you.”

I clamp my teeth together, meeting her eyes in the mirror again.

Part of me wishes he would too. At least it would put me out of my misery.

I’d never have to eat tomato soup. I’d never have to feel like an idiot while Cora heaves and sighs in the background.

And I’d definitely never have to see Sebastian again.

Unfortunately, there’s a stubborn part of me that won’t allow it. It still feels self-preservation, an inexplicable urge to stay alive, despite it all.

I turn, facing her until our noses almost touch. Her eyes sharpen, lip curling until I can see her canines. Her teeth, like Sebastian’s, like Oskar’s, are perfectly straight. I haven’t seen a single fang since I’ve arrived.

Another myth, apparently.

“Sebastian wouldn’t let you kill me if your life depended on it,” I tell her.

My heart races as she glowers at me, eyes turning lethal.

Predatory. I force my shoulders back, pretending she can’t hear the terror radiating from me.

“He may be your master , but you are nothing more than a convenient fuck for him.”

I don’t see her move. Her hand latches around my throat, and we’re moving before the choked gag leaves my mouth.

The manor blurs around us as she runs, one hand on my throat.

My head spins, even after I’ve squeezed my eyes shut.

I hang onto her wrist with both hands, legs kicking, trying to find traction against her body or the floor.

We jolt to a stop, and I tumble across the ground. I let out a pathetic gasp as I land on my back, the wind and sense knocked out of me. I blink up at the ceiling, only to realize there isn’t one. We’re outside.

Jesus. This is the first time I’ve been outside since Sebastian dragged me here.

Despite everything, I devour the sight before me. A mostly-darkened sky, touched with streaks of light from the setting sun. I blink, then close my eyes. There’s a cold wind blowing, tickling my wet hair against my shoulders.

“For fuck’s sake, Beatrice!”

It takes me a moment to place the garbled voice. Oskar. I blink again, tilting my chin toward the sound. I’m lying on a slab of stone bricks, and behind me, there’s a massive grey statue. Tilting my head, I realize it’s an enormous replica of Sebastian. He would have a statue of himself.

“Where’s Sebastian?” Beatrice demands. Her voice echoes through the space, bouncing back at her.

I push onto my elbows, struggling to breathe. Luckily, I’m not bleeding.

“Where is he?” she repeats.

I follow her gaze to the corner, where a massive stone table stands against an ivy-covered wall. Oskar sits with another man. I don’t know his name, but I recognize him. He’s one of Sebastian’s men, one of the watchers.

“Not here yet,” the man says. “And you should be thanking your stars for that, Beatrice. He’d skin you alive for that move alone!”

“I’ve had enough,” Beatrice says, but her voice wobbles and so does her bravado.

“She’s useless, and I’m done wasting time with her.

I don’t know how long he’s planning to coddle her, to let her live in that room, doing nothing.

If she’s not going to break the curse, what are we letting her live for? ”

“Beatrice.”

We all startle, turning to look at the courtyard’s entrance. Sebastian stands in the open doorway, jaw set as his attention flickers briefly over each of us. He looks to me last before returning to Beatrice.

“Is there a problem?” he asks.

“No, Master,” she says. Gone is the fearsome, untouchable bitch she was seconds ago. Now, she looks small and pathetic, childish in her tantrum. Good. Let them all see exactly who she is.

“I disagree,” he says. He strides forward, hands tucked in his pockets. His approach is smooth, but slow, like a predator closing in on prey. “I gave you simple instructions, didn’t I?”

“You did,” she says. She presses her lips together, as if trying to keep from saying more, only to immediately break. “Why do you let her live? Why is she here , Master, if not to do as you’ve instructed?”

An unexpected flicker of pity stings through my chest. Beatrice may not be locked in a cell, but she’s stuck in a worse prison than I am. She truly believes everything she’s saying, as if the world exists only for Sebastian’s purposes.

“He is not god!” I shriek. I’m looking at Beatrice, but my words are for everyone in this courtyard. “None of you are. You’re nothing but monsters.”

Beatrice bares her teeth at me, a violent hiss radiating from her throat. She lunges for me, her movements surprisingly slow. She doesn’t make it halfway to me before Sebastian catches her throat. He holds her in place, squeezing hard enough to draw a sharp breath.

“Let me make one thing clear, Beatrice,” he says. His voice drops, a rumble so deep it sounds more like a growl. “She is irreplaceable. You are not. You touch her again, and I will ensure it’s the last thing you do.”

Her lips part, but there’s no sound. Tears trail down her cheeks as she stands, perfectly still in his chokehold.

“Leave this courtyard immediately, and do not return until I give explicit permission. Nod if you understand.”

It seems to take all of her effort to do just that.

Sebastian releases her, and she goes without another word.

When Sebastian returns me to my room, he doesn’t leave as I expect. He lingers at the door, hand on the knob, back to me. And then, he steps into my room, closing the door behind him. He leans against the heavy wood, studying me from where he stands.

“She isn’t wrong,” he says. “I should not let you live as you do. Openly defying me. Refusing even the simplest of tasks. Wasting every meal we deliver. I should kill you, Grace Pruce. I should hand you over to Cora and let her dissect you for parts, until we can make something useful of your father’s blood. ”

Tears roll down my cheeks, but I don’t break eye contact. I will not allow him to make me small, to make me as pathetic as Beatrice just looked.

“You are not wrong either,” he says. “We are not gods. We are vampires. And perhaps we do deserve to burn.”

I try to act unaffected by his words, but by the way his mouth quirks, I know he can read my surprise.

“I am a monster, Grace,” he continues. “That means I don’t care what I deserve. There is nothing I will not do to get what I want. I will lie, steal, torture, slaughter. I will do anything to break this curse, even if that means killing you. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I say through gritted teeth. “I am well aware of who you are, Sebastian. You don’t?—”

“I will do anything,” he says again, cutting me off. He strides across the room, forcing me to retreat until my back hits the stone wall. He only stops once our chests are inches apart. “But only if I must. If you are willing to try again, I am willing to adjust my method.”

“Adjust?” I echo. I can barely breathe with him this close, his green eyes intense on me.

“I will stop treating you as a prisoner,” he says. “I will not throw you into battle unknowingly. I will not kill you without due notice.”

“How kind of you,” I mock.

“I will help you,” he says, ignoring me. “Kindness is not my nature, but I will try.”

“Why?” I ask. My voice shakes as I speak, and my heart begs me not to listen, not to fall for his false words. I know better, especially from evil-hearted creatures like him.

“If I kill you, there’s no going back,” he says. He steps away, giving me space to breathe, to think.

I don’t respond. I remain against the wall, chest heaving, eyes burning. Sebastian crosses the room. He pauses as he reaches the door, looking back at me.

“Let me know what you decide.”

“I don’t forgive you,” I tell him. “I will never forgive you.”

“Good,” he says, surprising me. He looks away, voice lowering again. “After you attacked me in the park, I assumed fear triggered your magic. But it wasn’t fear, Grace, was it? It was hate .”

He waits for me to respond, but I don’t. I don’t tell him his explanation is one I’ve considered for nights on end. The same one I’ve feared. Because if he’s right…perhaps I belong with these monsters more than I thought.