Page 62

I remember when I first met the guys. They were fiercely protective, and I loved the feeling that they would do anything for me.

It was addictive. Still, despite getting to know them, I always struggled to get them to open up fully.

They always held something back. They never divulged all the details about what happened to them during their time in the asylum, yet they told Erin. Why couldn’t they talk to me?

“They’d have told you eventually,” Erin whispers.

“Are you sure about that?” I ask, giving way to her consciousness.

I thought I knew them well…

Aiden’s an alpha. He’ll do anything, including killing, for the people he loves.

He’s strong, makes the rules, and likes to get his own way, but not because he likes to control people—not all the time, anyway—but because he tries to help them.

I once asked him about the rat skulls he wears around his neck.

He told me how they used to be his only friends and serve as a physical reminder of how far he’s come.

Perhaps that’s why he clings to those he loves so tightly…

Lex is a total heathen, and I always loved that about him.

Like me, he’s not afraid of causing trouble.

He’s a rebel who uses dark humor to hide his emotions.

In fact, he likes to pretend he doesn’t have any feelings at all, but there’s more to him.

In his gaze, I sometimes caught sight of a hidden vulnerability.

I don’t know exactly how he got his scars from the fire that killed his family, but he plays up to the idea of being a monster. How much of that is real?

Eli is easier to read. He’s the most sensitive of the group and wears his heart on his sleeve.

If it wasn’t for everything Dad put him through, he’d be the definition of a perfect gentleman.

He has old-fashioned values, yet his obsessive tendencies give way to darker desires that lurk under the surface.

That’s why he likes trophies, hair, underwear…

anything to keep his latest obsession close.

Conflicting thoughts pop into my head when I think of him.

I know now that he killed Erin, but he wasn’t operating under his own free will. Can I ever forgive him?

“I forgive him,” Erin says.

“Of course you do,” I mutter sarcastically. “You’re too nice for your own good. He killed you, remember?”

“Dad killed me,” she corrects. “Not Eli.”

“You’ve had my body for a year,” I snap, hitting the side of my head, as if the action will somehow get her to fall out of my head. “Can I get a little fucking peace for a minute?”

She must have listened as a deadly silence follows, making me instantly regret my outburst. Being truly alone is even worse.

Suddenly, my cell door bursts open. Bright lights from the hall flood in, making me squint to see an ominous outline in the doorway. A masked figure steps inside, and I jump to my feet. Two more masked men follow him, and the door closes behind them with a bang.

I clench my fists and hold them up like I’m preparing for a fight.

Lex chuckles from behind his black balaclava. He’s the one on the left.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Eli says to the right of Aiden, who stands in the middle. He raises his hands. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

“I’ll scream,” I warn. “The orderlies will come. My father will find you. He’ll lock you up and throw away the key!”

“No one is coming,” Lex says. “We’ve made sure of that.”

“I’m not Erin,” I hiss. “You can’t intimidate me.”

Aiden steps forward. “We know you’re angry, but?—”

“Fuck you!” I cut him off. I’m not playing by his rules. Not anymore. “I’m not going anywhere with you. Wasn’t I clear enough the first time? Leave me alone.”

“We can’t do that,” Eli says. “We’re the only ones who can help you.”

“I don’t want your help,” I hiss indignantly.

“You don’t have a choice,” Aiden says. “Your father will find out you’re back soon.”

“I’m a good actress,” I say, but my voice quivers.

How long can I really pretend to be my sister? I can’t lose control again or let her take over.

“Not that good,” Lex says. He takes out his cell phone and holds it up. “You need to watch this.”

“What is it?” My lip curls. “Another video of you fucking Erin?”

“You can’t hold that over us forever,” Aiden says impatiently. “We thought you were dead.”

“That doesn’t justify it,” I snap. “You aren’t crazy enough to think we’ll pick up where we left off, right? Too much has happened!’

Lex thrusts the phone into my hand. “Just fucking watch it!”

I snatch it from him and hit play.

It’s a video of Doctor Warner’s office.

“We installed hidden cameras, so we could watch your sessions,” Eli explains.

“So much for patient confidentiality,” I mutter sarcastically.

In the video, Doctor Warner sits behind his desk, shuffling through papers. He looks terrible. He struggles to keep his eyes open and drinks a coffee before putting his head in his hands. If he wasn’t partially responsible for trying to erase me from existence, I might actually feel sorry for him.

“Another depressed doctor? Big deal!” I say. “If you haven’t noticed, this place is full of them.”

“Keep watching,” Lex urges.

Doctor Warner’s office door swings open, and my father steps inside. He opens the door with enough force for it to hit the opposing wall. Doctor Warner jumps up, and his bloodshot eyes widen in fear.

“This video was taken an hour ago.” Aiden points. “Look at the time stamps.”

I turn up the volume and keep watching.

“Something’s off,” Dad says. “She’s not acting how she should be.”

Doctor Warner adjusts his tie nervously, and a bead of sweat drips down his forehead. For a psychiatrist, you’d think he’d be better at feigning confidence. I’m not a body language expert, but even I can tell he’s acting shady.

“W-what do you mean?” Doctor Warner stammers.

If Dad finds out about Doctor Warner working with the guys and reducing my medication, he’d find himself the subject in my father’s next twisted experiment. Luckily for him, Dad seems too distracted and annoyed to notice Doctor Warner’s nerves.

“She’s not my Erin!” Dad blasts. “The rule breaking… the back talk… what she said to Jocelyn during visiting hours… it’s her. Sarah’s breaking through. I can feel it.”

“Erin’s going through a rebellious phase,” Doctor Warner suggests. “It’s common at her age. She seems fine to?—”

“You don’t know her like I do!” Dad picks up Doctor Warner’s metronome and hurls it against the wall, smashing a framed painting. “This isn’t how Erin behaves. Make preparations for repeating the procedure.”

“But, Magnus, that’s madness,” Doctor Warner says. “The upload of Erin’s consciousness will have disintegrated since the first procedure. The consequences could be disastrous. Think of the age gap alone. She’ll have no memory of anything from the point you moved to Pasturesville.”

Dad grabs Doctor Warner by the collar and sprays spit over his face as he yells, “I said, make the preparations!”

“But…” Doctor Warner whimpers, and his face reddens as he struggles to breathe. “It would almost certainly kill her.”

My heart thunders.

Dad drops his hold, and Doctor Warner splutters, massaging his neck.

Dad takes a deep breath. I think he’s about to come to his senses, then he says in a chilling tone that makes my blood run cold, “I’ve told you once before, my daughter is already dead. I will do anything to get her back.”

“Magnus… we have to stop… we…”

“No!” Dad blasts. “I make the rules! If you don’t comply, I will destroy you, Warner. I’ll make sure you never see the light of fucking day again. Your career, your life’s work, and your reputation will be gone in an instant. Do I make myself clear?”

I hope Doctor Warner will finally grow a pair of balls, but he only snivels and nods warily. Spineless coward.

“Okay,” he says. “But it’ll take time. I need to tweak the machine.”

“You have twenty-four hours,” Dad says. “We’ll do it tomorrow.”

Lex gently extracts the phone from my sweaty palm.

“Do you see what we’re up against now?” Aiden asks.

“What I’m up against,” I correct him. “I don’t need your help.”

Aiden strokes my cheek. “So fucking stubborn.” I hear the smile in his voice as the black fabric covering his mouth stretches. “You really are back.”

My body responds involuntarily to his touch, and a tremble of longing shoots between my legs. What’s wrong with me? I turn my head and bite his finger hard. That’s better.

“Ouch,” he hisses, yanking his hand away and scowling.

“Wise choice,” I say.

“We spoke to Doctor Warner on our way here,” Eli says as Aiden glowers at me. “We have a plan. A plan that, if it works, will give all of us what we’ve been waiting for.”

“See? You’re always thinking of yourselves,” I mutter scathingly.

“We’re on the same side,” Lex says. “You may hate us, but you hate your father more. We’re not just doing this for us. Don’t you want justice for Erin?”

My rage boils over in another furious outburst as I jab my finger into his hard pec. “Don’t you dare say her fucking name!”

“Let us help you,” Eli says softly. “I know it won’t change what happened, but we can make this right.”

“Says the guy who murdered my sister,” I snap.

Eli steps back like he’s been sucker punched. His haunted eyes sparkle with guilt. I sense Erin’s disapproval prickle under my skin. I’ve always had a quick temper. Act first, ask questions later is my motto.

“It wasn’t his fault, Sarah,” Aiden growls protectively. “And you know it.”

“She’s right, though,” Eli says. “I’m a killer. A killer. Killer. Killer.” He falls into a robot-like trance. “A killer. Killer. Killer. I’m a killer.”

He never used to be like this. My stomach knots with guilt over triggering him. He’s hurting just as much as I am. Erin must agree, as she bursts to the surface like a volcano erupting.

“I forgive you, Eli.”

Erin’s words leap from my mouth, and everyone freezes.

Eli’s jaw drops. “E-Erin?” he stammers, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Is that you?”

“Yes,” she says. “And I mean it, Eli.”

Eli’s face crumples. “Erin, I’m so sorry…”

“That’s enough.” I blink hard and take a deep breath to suppress her, then hiss, “This isn’t about you, Erin.”

I’m the one who died , she responds in my mind in her annoying know-it-all way. It’s very much about me. Thank you very much.

“Shut it,” I command. “Can you give me time to think for a second without butting in?”

Thankfully, she fades, although her lingering disapproval eats away at my conscience.

The sensation of having her stuck in my head is hard to describe.

She’s getting a front-row seat to my life while being stuck in a room in the back of my brain.

She will appear when called, and I can push her back if I try hard enough.

However, if she feels strongly enough about something, she’s able to burst through of her own accord.

“She’s still in there?” Aiden asks, obviously stunned. “I thought when you came back, she?—”

“She’d disappear forever? No.” I ignore his probing gaze that has an unnatural skill for knowing what I’m thinking. “It doesn’t seem to work like that.”

“All the more reason for us to work together,” Lex insists. “If we don’t stop him, who knows what he’ll do next?”

“Let us help you,” Eli says. “Both of you.” He wipes his watery eyes pleadingly. “Please.”

They know my father’s twisted ways and this asylum better than anyone. They may be the only chance I have to not lose myself again, even if it means swallowing my pride.

“Fine,” I say. My jaw hardens, resolute in what I must do. “We’ll work together. Just this once. After that, we’re done. What’s the plan?”

“So…” Aiden begins.