Page 13

Worthiness

Ultima: Katarzyna

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K atarzyna lies in the infirmary bed, hovering her hands so she can stare at them in awe. She’s shaken up from the petrification, but more so from the phantom feeling of her skin hard as stone. Every part of her aches; she should’ve stayed hidden, but she wanted to prove herself to everyone.

A nurse quickly pulls back the curtain, startling her.

“It’s been three hours, honey. You’re the only one still in here.”

Really? Katarzyna wonders. Has everyone resumed life as if the attack never happened?

The nurses worked hard to cure the victims with their entire antidote supply, but it’s still traumatizing. What’s worse is she heard Rio jet off shortly after.

“S-Sorry,” Katarzyna mumbles, sitting up and inching toward the edge of the bed. She rubs her face and shudders. The last memory was her eyes burning when she met the girl’s gaze. Everything went black, leaving Katarzyna stuck in the darkest corners of her mind. The places she fights hard to never end up in.

The nurse pats her shoulder with a sympathetic smile. “We’ve set up some counselors to come onsite tonight for everyone affected by this. You also have a visitor right now.”

“Thank you.” Katarzyna smiles as the nurse leaves, bringing Lynn into full view with her arms crossed and a deep scowl. Her violin is hooked to her back. “Lynn?”

“Rio asked me to check on you.”

“Oh, is he back?”

Lynn wrinkles her nose. “No?”

“Sorry.” Katarzyna gets herself up and leaves, but Lynn walks beside her. “Um... are you escorting me to my room? Or following me?”

“Neither.”

They reach the lobby, and it’s as clear as the sky. The floors are polished with no evidence of streaks of stone or wheels dragging across, and members are passing through in busy foot traffic. Security appears to be turning away non-members at the door.

Katarzyna checks her phone, but her queue is empty. Ideally, it gives her free time to visit her grandmother, but she’s more eager to see how everyone here is doing.

“So, it was Elite who attacked us?” Katarzyna looks up at a stoic Lynn, who’s heightened by her large combat boots. “What are we doing about it?”

Lynn stares absently at everyone passing through the lobby. Katarzyna is tempted to ask again in case she didn’t hear, but Lynn presses her lips together and looks at her. Her eyes are aggressive and agitated.

“Rio assembled a recruiting squad, pending approval. You are obviously not part of it due to your... restrictions. So, we are doing something about this.”

The bitterness some members feel toward her never seems to fade away.

“Gotcha. Well, thanks for checking on me,” Katarzyna whispers. She swallows hard, trying to hold back the tears welling up as she sprints to her room.

T he next day, Katarzyna breathes heavily over Tess’s bronze shoulder in the library in the basement. It’s damp and wet down here, which makes it hard for people to hang in the drab, dark space. Tess looks back a few times but shakes her head and keeps typing in the search bar.

“Please tell me you got sleep and didn’t think about this all night,” Tess says. “We’re not gonna find anything.”

“We have to! That girl attacked us and she’s from Elite.”

“She was already arrested, Kate.”

“Keep looking.”

They’ve been searching all over the Elite website for images of any members they can recall, but it doesn’t contain many pictures compared to Ultima’s. Embarrassment wiggles through Katarzyna from how much Ultima displays. There’s a resource page where people see a cropped shot of her cheesing hard with a notebook and pen, looking resourceful for the site visitors. The marketing team won’t take it down.

Elite’s website is bare and clunky. Even Katarzyna can do a better job at creating something. Someone must’ve thrown together bad coding to craft this, and every page they visit has an ad that inevitably makes the site crash and reboot.

“Why is this so important to you? Besides being petrified?”

“Everyone still thinks I’m useless,” Katarzyna mumbles. She finally grabs a chair to sit next to her roommate. Her hands tremble as the itching feeling of her skin hardening to stone invades her thoughts again.

Tess sighs and exits the website. “Stop that. We all have our purpose here. The girl was arrested. What does any of this serve for you?”

“I thought maybe we could find her name, and then lookup where she’s being held and question her on Malice.”

“To impress Commander Rio.”

Katarzyna chews her lip, still pondering and convincing herself it’s low risk but high reward. For years she’s been in the shadows of everyone’s doubt toward her, but with everything happening, it’s an opportunity for her to be brave.

“Okay, I have another plan. My grandma wants me to stop by. Wanna come to Emerald Island with me?” she asks. Tess grins, a hint of mischief gleaming in her round hazel eyes. “I just want to say hi to Rio before we leave. Haven’t seen him yet.”

“Of course! Let’s meet in the lobby in ten?” Tess signs out of the computer and walks with Katarzyna upstairs. She falls behind Tess to contain her spiraling thoughts. Will I get nervous and say something awful? Will he be thrilled to see me? Or mention the squad?

Her heart lodges in her throat as she knocks on Rio’s office door. He’s sitting on his desk, working on a puzzle cube but glances up with a smirk. Sweat overcomes Katarzyna’s hands, so she shoves them in her pink hoodie pockets and swallows down the lump.

“H-Hey.”

“Hey you, just the person I wanted to see,” Rio says.

“Why... why didn’t you visit me in the infirmary then?”

Rio hesitates with his mouth partially open, mixed with confusion in his dark brows. Katarzyna realizes it’s such an awkward question since he manages many members under Cedric’s supervision.

She clears her throat when he doesn’t respond. “So, um... where did you go? I thought you would’ve stayed and—”

“I went to see my mom.” His tone is tight, cutting through the choppy exchange. Katarzyna shivers when a draft hits the office. She’s still standing by the door, but he appears miles away.

That’s the problem though. Rio’s teal eyes are cloudy and distant, much like how they are after he brainwashes someone, or when there’s tension. He’s either boiling or simmering and nothing in between.

“That’s wonderful,” Katarzyna whispers. The warmth in her face has overwhelmed her nerves, so she’s not sure what emotion she’s conveying.

“Well, since you’re here, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

He firmly sets the puzzle cube behind him and folds his hands. “So, I enforced extra sessions and clearly everyone hates it. But there’s been one member I’ve excused. You.”

Katarzyna incubates in her hoodie, unsure if it’s nervousness or her dormant power ready to burst.

“What are you trying to say?” she asks.

“The chaos with that Elite member shouldn’t have happened. If you had just used your abilities, it would—”

“I’m not unleashing my powers!” Katarzyna snaps, but she dials back in. “I’m not responsible for what happened because of not using them. You can’t put this on me.”

Rio blinks, mouth still partially open, but he’s quiet. Katarzyna grinds her teeth and tries to not let a hiccup of emotion lose its way from her control. Rio knows better than anyone why this is a sensitive topic, yet he acts brand new about it.

“I know you fear the gifts you have, and it’s a little overwhelming for you to control, but maybe you should consider practicing a little,” he suggests, with a hint of a smile.

No. I can’t do that. I’ll hurt everyone.

But she can’t disagree with him either. It’s been years of self-affirmation mirror monologues, journal entries that are more prominent on a bad day, and countless blackout days hiding under the covers when it gets to be too much. Finally, she’s in a better place than she was, even yesterday, and this topic about her awful power rears its hideous head once again at her.

“I can’t,” she whispers, rushing out of the office. Rio doesn’t call or chase after her, making this moment even worse than she imagined.

Katarzyna runs down the hall and almost collides with someone carrying a bowl of cereal. She mumbles an apology and sprints to her room, barreling right through her door. It’s empty, so Tess must be waiting in the lobby.

The hard sensation of the stone texture rocks through her again. Feeling powerless to her own grief, Katarzyna crouches and lies on the floor. Being petrified has stayed with her longer than expected. Even if she never turned into stone, she still wouldn’t have done anything to stop the chaos.

You coward.

The door bursts open with a panting Tess.

“Kate, are you okay? What happened?” She kneels beside her and strokes the silvery blond strands from her face. “I thought we were meeting in the lobby.”

“Rio,” she croaks. “He brought up my powers.”

Tess rolls her eyes. “Not this again. Listen, anytime Rio is on edge about something, he usually goes around poking bears to get results. It’s super annoying and we’ve dealt with this for a while now, but that’s just how he is. Doesn’t make it okay, though.”

Katarzyna stares at the ceiling, knowing well what she means. Rio is obsessed with his work because he has nothing else.

In their youth, she knew Rio for a short period. He was known as “the Queen’s son” and rarely stayed outside. Katarzyna met him once to play, but they had little space and were surrounded by Guards for Rio’s safety.

“You’re right,” Katarzyna sighs. “It’s not okay. I’m not okay.”

Tess smiles, still caressing her hair. “And that’s fine. You don’t need to be okay. I just need you to keep living. For yourself and them.”

Them. Mom. Dad.

K atarzyna is skittish arriving at Emerald Island. Having been here weeks ago in the middle of a showdown is unreal and seems like forever ago. The only reason she went was to feel important and save Rio.

The Emerald/Onyx station is always quiet on Emerald, but it’s often because science and food rarely mix, including the travelers.

Tess and Katarzyna walk the ten minutes to her grandma’s apartment, but Tess calls a taxi once they arrive to take her further east to her tribe’s village. The citizens are quieter but busy at work. Traffic is unforgiving, and the pedestrians are on a mission to make it to their destination.

One street turns into a downhill cobblestone road, leading to a cul-de-sac of invariable apartments of senior living greeting the two. Katarzyna stops short at the door and looks back at Tess. Her scarlet locks blow gently through the scorching breeze of the late afternoon.

“Don’t wait up, I’ll be fine waiting for the taxi here.”

“You sure? How far is it again?” Katarzyna asks.

Tess is squinting at her phone. “‘Bout half an hour. I already called the taxi so it should arrive soon.”

“Okay, meet back here?” Katarzyna will do anything to extend her moments with Tess if it means avoiding her grandma’s whimsical gaze. She’ll do anything to help Rio.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

After a few knocks, grandma Vinyl Steed slowly opens her door with a loud creak clinging to it. Her face lights up as she lets Katarzyna in and waves at Tess. The cozy living room reeks of cigarettes that may have burned some carpets throughout the years.

Katarzyna blushes. “Hey, grandma.” She leans in for a warm embrace before sitting on the leather sofa with her. Vinyl shares Katarzyna’s gray eyes with voluminous silver hair barely tied back from her serene, pigmented face. Her smile brings translucent skin folds overlapping in crinkling ocean waves.

“Thanks for stopping by, sweetie. You didn’t look too well last time I saw you.”

With a thumping heart, Katarzyna blushes again and takes a deep breath. “I’m better now.”

Vinyl grabs her hands firmly in her cold leather grasp. “Have you calmed the urges?”

Katarzyna instinctively pulls away and tugs the sleeves of her hoodie down, concealing her wrists. She nods until Vinyl’s smile widens. “Good to hear! Anyway, I’ve got some wonderful news for you, my Golden Child.”

How many times have I told her to stop calling me that? Katarzyna unleashes a small laugh, but it sounds like an exasperated scoff. People say it’s because of a light that emits from her. But since she’s doubted it so much, the light has faded.

“What’s the news?” Katarzyna asks.

Perfectly timed to her question, a boy runs into the room, flying a toy airplane. He stops and stares at Katarzyna, cocking his head. He looks at Vinyl and teeters to her side as she reaches to pat his shoulder.

“This is Wren. I saved him from an abusive father who died—”

“From Berserk,” Katarzyna whispers. She’s staring at the kid, remembering he was mentioned in the article. “So, you own him now?”

Vinyl coughs. “You make him sound like property. After the Guards took him into custody, I applied for guardianship. Right now, I’m just fostering him until it’s approved.

Katarzyna told Rio about this kid, but she forgot all about this and wonders if Rio did, too. He’s been so caught up with everything else happening.

Wren waves his floppy hand at her. She holds her breath, trying to not feel weird. Sometimes she’s anxious around the youngsters. They can be unpredictable.

“Do you mind if I ask him a few questions?” Katarzyna meets Vinyl’s protective stare.

“Why?”

“Well, from what you told me, he saw someone Ultima is interested in. Black hair, golden eyes? Remember?”

Wren perks up with his round eyes and button nose. “Oh! The lady who is trying to save the dragons!”

“Shh, Wren,” Vinyl whispers. She maintains her firm stare onKatarzyna with her lips thinning into a hard line. “I asked you to stop by, but not to interrogate him.”

Katarzyna tugs on her sleeves with the delusion of her scars tingling. She wants answers but doesn’t want to be confrontational about it with her grandma. It’ll be humiliating to meet back with Tess with no clues to help Ultima.

“Ultima is interested in that unique Elite member.” Katarzyna holds her gaze before turning to Wren, who is hiding behind Vinyl on the couch. “Who is the lady saving dragons?”

Wren’s voice is small. “I don’t know.”

“Enough,” Vinyl snaps. “If this is all you’re interested in doing, then please leave, Kate.”

Crap. C’mon, think. Katarzyna’s thoughts swim for ideas to prolong the visit. So many questions left to ask but so little patience with Vinyl. Wren mentioned someone is saving the dragons, but Katarzyna isn’t aware of anyone single-handedly taking care of.

“I thought Guards were looking into the dragon murders,” Katarzyna says.

“Wren can see things. Something is happening, but I’m not sure what. He’s too young to truly understand it either,” Vinyl replies.

“Okay, but what was the girl doing?”

Vinyl hesitates. “She looked like she was running from something and knocked the boy over. Are you sure you’re supposed to be looking into this?”

“What do you mean?”

Wren slides off the couch and runs out the room with his toy. Vinyl scoots closer to Katarzyna and grabs her hands softly in hers again. She wears confidence well on her slender, aged body, and she’s not a fool to let things slip by her sharp eye.

“Your light has dulled. You aren’t shining anymore.”

“Grandma, I don’t want to talk about that.”

“You seemed happier working in the base. Fieldwork may not be a good fit for your health if this is what you’re doing now.”

Katarzyna pulls away again. “Please. You don’t know anything.”

“I know you have a light, dear. My daughter and your father believed it. And I know they’ve seen it. It’s a real thing,” Vinyl presses.

No, I just came to get answers. Not this.

Katarzyna bites her lip and looks away, holding back hot tears. Her scars feel fresh again. It’s all in her head, but it feels like blood is oozing from the pink cracks of healed skin. The mention of her parents slips Katarzyna into the dark void left by the guilt of her actions.

“There is no light,” she whimpers, giving up control of her quivering. “It’s just so pointless to believe.” She breaks into an uncontrollable sob. Grotesque visions of blood smeared on the walls overflow through her. “I... j-just miss them s-so much!”

“I do too, sweetie,” Vinyl whispers.

“No, you don’t understand. You’ll never understand!”

Katarzyna storms out of the apartment and runs up the incline of the street, ignoring the burn in her calves and forgetting that the cul-de-sac was her meeting spot. She wipes her tear-streaked face when she reaches the main road again and pulls out her vibrating phone, only to ignore it when she sees Vinyl is calling.

Tess hasn’t reached out—who knows if she’s even made it to her village yet. Time has a funny way of moving when Katarzyna is visiting Emerald. Her thoughts spin as she exhales sharply and stalks around the area until she finds a park to cool down.

There are better parks, but this one is dominated by a vast parking lot before the actual park trail appears. Katarzyna bypasses the rows of vehicles and carriages and walks under the billowing trees onto the trail. She manages her trembling hands to ignore another call from Vinyl and sends a brief text to Tess to meet at the park. Trying to get her thoughts under control is impossible with the constant surge of images of her parents, so she ventures deeper into the park, noting the warning signs of dragons possibly resting in the open spaces.

Fifteen minutes of passing benches, kids, and people strolling along and the end doesn’t seem near. Katarzyna doesn’t realize how big the actual park is, but if it’s welcomed to dragons, it must be spacious enough to accommodate them visiting too.

Tess replies that she’s on her way to meet up, so Katarzyna turns around to head back toward the entrance. Her body hunches as she’s been left alone too long with her invasive mind. The stone sensation on her skin returns, but she shakes her head to ignore the gnawing memory.

Is it just me? I want to know if anyone else is still traumatized by it.

She stops short at an open meadow that doesn’t branch off from the trail. Sunlight sprinkles in through the forest-like park and gleams on the metallic red scales of a dragon five times the size of her. The creature seems preoccupied with the person stroking its scales until Katarzyna notices that infamous scarlet uniform jacket.

Her chest tightens, propelling her toward the stranger whose back is to her. The risk is thrilling; she’ll do anything to stop brooding about her parents and Vinyl. Staying put to wait for Tess will only cause Katarzyna to spiral more.

She clears her throat. “H-Hello.”

The stranger turns, and regret floods through Katarzyna. She didn’t think the short black hair would be associated with the golden eyes, but sure enough, it is. The member Ultima has called Malice stands before her apathetically.

Maybe this isn’t a good idea.

“Hi?” Malice replies. “Can I help you?”

Katarzyna’s brain falters. She steps closer. “Are you trying to save the dragons like the boy says you are?”

The girl’s face drops along with the hand that was petting the dragon. She rushes in three big strides until she’s face-to-face with Katarzyna. Being this close now, their matching height is more apparent as Malice’s ravenous aura hums aggressively over Katarzyna’s timid feathery, swan stance.

“You know Wren? Where is he?” she asks.

So, it WAS her at the park that day, Katarzyna confirms. She’s surprised Malice doesn’t recognize her from the showdown.

She scans Malice’s uniform, but no badge is in sight. The thought of stalling comes to mind. If Ultima can arrive soon enough to capture her, Katarzyna becomes the hero. Her teammates will finally respect her, but she needs to act fast to keep Malice here and think of something.

“I, um... I’m not sure.” Katarzyna’s eyes dart around before meeting the fierceness of Malice’s eyes again, strangling her thoughts.

She grimaces. “You’re lying. You know something. Tell me now.”

“My grandma,” Katarzyna croaks, heart racing briskly. “He’s with her.” She tries to clam up, but everything keeps flowing out loosely. “He told me someone was trying to save the dragons with your description. I thought Elite wasn’t being deployed either?”

The girl glances at the red dragon and then fixes her sharp eyes back on Katarzyna. “That’s correct; we aren’t deployed. That’s all I can say, so please take me to him immediately.”

A few vigorous walkers move hastily around them on the path, causing Malice to withdraw back into the meadow, keeping her glare. Katarzyna pulls out her phone, trying to appear normal, but her hands are sweaty.

“S-Sure, let me just uh... see if they’re still home,” Katarzyna stammers. She shakes as she sends a distress signal to Rio and Tess of her location. Maybe Tess will arrive faster and help subdue her.

Malice returns to pet the cooing dragon’s snout. She looks at Katarzyna and gives a jaw-dropping half-smile.

“Thank you so much for your help,” she says.

Katarzyna shoves the phone away and walks into the meadow, keeping her nerves steel cool. She exhales and claps her hands together and whistles off tune. Her thoughts fumble with every way this can go wrong unsure if she’s ready for the consequences. She’s not even ready to fight.

“Yeah, of course. I’m happy to help.”

A few minutes roll on before Malice looks at Katarzyna again. “Have you heard from your grandma? Can we go see her?”

Katarzyna pulls her phone out and tries to keep her hands steady to see if anyone has responded to her distress call but nothing. She’s assuming they did and are heading over without a reply. Somehow, she has to make it believable.

“No. But maybe calling is faster,” Katarzyna says. She chooses Rio’s number, but it goes to voicemail. Make it believable. “H-Hey, grandma! I know I just left but I wanted to see if you and Wren were still there so I could swing back by. Call me back, thanks!” She puts the phone away and gets closer to Malice and the dragon.

“Isn’t he cute? I have a soft spot for these fellas,” the girl says. She’s so different from the time she faced Rio. Katarzyna almost wonders if this is the same person, but those eyes couldn’t belong to anyone else.

A ray of sun peers right through a tree and shines on Malice’s smooth face, illuminating the almond shape of her eyes and the gleam of her black eyebrows. Such random features no one would typically notice suddenly seem more apparent to Katarzyna in this strange glow.

Her phone vibrating startles her. She pulls it out but fumbles it out of her hands. Malice reaches to grab it, but with a quick glance at the screen, she frowns.

“You have a text from Rio Shackler stating he’s almost here,” she says as a matter of fact. Her stare hardens. “Pretty clever of you, I’d say.”

Katarzyna swallows and steps away. A deep growl curdles in the dragon’s throat as they fix their bronze stare onto her too. The sun disappears, leaving a gray, chilly, overcast above them.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Shut it,” Malice hisses. She snaps her fingers and Katarzyna braces for the moment she’d finally see Skylar appear, but instead, the dragon takes flight and soars upward out of the meadow. Branches and twigs rain down on them as a passing jogger gasp from the sudden exit.

The Elite member stares at her, long enough that Katarzyna wonders if that was all her snap was for. The meadow grows quiet from walkers, joggers, visitors on the path until Katarzyna only hears ringing. She looks back, goosebumps rising from the sight of Skylar standing behind her. With each flap of his wings, Katarzyna’s pale hair flies up in multiple directions.

Her thoughts swirl. Holy Superior, I’m gonna die.

Seeing him in person feels like Katarzyna’s gray world is full of color for the first time. He’s half-human and half-bird—maybe a phoenix or a swan, composed of crystal with white feathers that materialize at the flap of his wings.

“Skylar.” The girl points at Katarzyna. “Her.”

Katarzyna is quick to react; Skylar strikes within seconds of the order. She ducks out of the way, avoiding his long razor arms. With little recovery time, Skylar kicks Katarzyna against a tree trunk. Her Trace Mark burns, but after all these years of suppressing her powers, she can’t risk losing control again.

The girl frowns. “Not using your abilities? Wow, what a waste of a Spirit User.”

“I’ll c-call the Guards on you,” Katarzyna grunts. “Y-You’re attacking a civilian!”

Malice crosses her arms, bending over to smirk down at Katarzyna. “Didja forget we’re no longer considered civilians when we join these organizations? You’re with Ultima, intending to ambush me. This is justified.”

Pain throbs through Katarzyna’s body as the ringing grows unbearable. The creature stands in front of her before she can scramble to her feet. His silver crystalline structure allures her until she’s paralyzed from his presence. Skylar doesn’t have feet or hands, but his legs and arms end in sharp points. He stabs one right into Katarzyna’s thigh.

Adrenaline swells through her body. She thinks about Vinyl, Wren, her parents, Ultima, her childhood friend, and Rio until finally, her mind settles on Skylar. A tidal wave of regret slams through her, seeping into the cracks of her scars, burning what’s left of her hope. The world is fuzzy, and everything is tilting. The agony finally strikes, demanding her attention.

Malice stands next to her companion. “Withdraw.”

Skylar’s crystal form melts into a silver puddle. His structure regenerates into a thin artifact Katarzyna can’t process with her blurred vision. Her hands twitch over the hole in her leg as blood gushes through the cracks between her fingers. She strains to look at Skylar’s new form, but realizes he’s gone, so it’s just the girl standing over her, holding a long stick.

A scythe. Skylar turned into a scythe for her.

Katarzyna whimpers with snot running parallel to her tears. “P-P-Pleeeeeeaaaaasseee.”

Malice laughs. “You’re gonna beg now? You almost had me—”

“STOP.”

Katarzyna recognizes Rio’s voice as he’s running toward them. The Elite member backs away, turning her scythe back into Skylar. Rio stops a few feet from where the girl stands in the meadow, clearly out of breath. The earth bleeds around Katarzyna’s wounded leg.

Skylar quivers, as the member gawks at Rio. “What the—did you... did you just run from the train station?”

Rio is still catching his breath. “Yes... yes... I did!”

Suddenly, Tess is at Katarzyna’s side with a nurse. They drag her away from the tree trunk and onto the trail. Tons of people have crowded around the draping mouth of the meadow to take videos and pictures. Katarzyna instructs Tess to carry her to Vinyl’s apartment, but the nurse is already busy working on her leg.

“Relax, he’ll fix you up. Rio brought him from Onyx Island, so he has natural healing hands and magic,” Tess says. “Breathe, you’re gonna be okay.”

“But... Rio...” Katarzyna murmurs. As the nurse applies pressure and wraps her leg, Katarzyna winces and watches yet another confrontation between Rio and the girl. But it’s too much to take in. They’re both tense in their stare-down until Rio shoots a lightning bolt. There’s little distance between them. Katarzyna is certain the shot can’t be deflected.

But once again, the girl proves her wrong. With her fist wrapped in a small purple bubble, Malice angrily knocks the bolt like swatting a fly from her face. Rio falls to one knee, still out of breath.

“Pathetic,” she whispers, snapping her fingers for Skylar to disappear as she walks past everyone with such fluid grace. “Have fun when the Guards arrive.”

“Where... where are you going?” Frustration coats Rio’s breathless question.

“Home with my new toy.” She waves Katarzyna’s phone in the air as she leaves.

Tess rushes to help Rio up as Malice waltzes away. Katarzyna watches Rio’s head drop in defeat. She can only imagine what he’s feeling right now. As a Commander, he’s trying to prove his worthiness too.