Page 24

I lived in the firehouse off and on over the years, even after Cody and Felicity first took it over. Hope and Niko called it home for a little while, but ultimately Felicity and Cody are the ones who ended up there permanently.

Because they’re the ones who won’t stop breeding.

They’re also—as much as I hate to admit it—a big part of the reason I continued skipping town as much as I could. I’m happy for my brother. Glad he’s got the dream we all chased.

But fuck if it’s not hard to see when it’s so far from my grasp.

Opening the door, I let Myra go inside ahead of me, but I stick close as she moves into the large open area.

The second I cross the threshold, the volume amps up exponentially.

It’s fucking chaos inside, with kids running around like maniacs while their parents attempt to keep them somewhat under control.

Little squealing voices bounce off the walls and high ceilings, with the noise of Levi cooking and Jill setting up adding to the assault.

I’ve been alone a long time, and I wish the scene before me was enough to make me appreciate my status and lifestyle.

It’s not. It only amplifies my loneliness.

These nights have been the worst kind of torture for me, so I usually go out of my way to miss them.

To make sure I leave town before I have to face the reminder of all I don’t have.

Myra’s eyes move over the crowd, taking it all in as her steps slow to a stop.

At first I think she’s regretting her decision to come here, but then I see the toddler crawling across the floor in front of her.

Slowly, Myra crouches down, scooping up Damien and Josie’s little boy.

She cradles him close and I can’t tear my eyes off her.

She looks so natural holding him. So happy.

“Hey, man.” Evan slaps me on the shoulder, dragging my attention away from the only spot it wants to be. “How’s it going?”

Evan is the only one of my brothers—besides Butch and me—who doesn’t live here on the block. He and his wife Kerri live out in the suburbs with Kerri’s mom, Jill, but they’re here every Sunday night for family dinner.

“Good.” I lean in for a back-slapping hug, eyes darting to Myra holding the little boy before going back to the man in front of me. “What about you guys?”

“We’re awesome.” Evan was the first of us to settle down, and it still looks as good on him as it did all those years ago. “Jill said you turned on the power in the house at the end of the road. You thinking about moving back full-time?”

I can feel Myra’s eyes on me and it has me admitting something I’ve been tossing around since she fell into my life. “Maybe. I’ve got a job scheduled in Florida I’ve got to take care of, but who knows what’ll happen after that.”

Evan’s brows lift, his smile widening. “That’s fucking great to hear.

” He slaps me on the back again as people start working their way toward the large open kitchen.

“You know Jill’s got that house earmarked for you.

” His smile slips a little. “And it doesn’t seem like Butch is going to be interested in it, so you won’t have any competition. ”

I school my features when Evan brings Butch up.

Christian, Tate, and I decided not to share his unexpected appearance with everyone else until we know what’s going on.

Butch is a touchy fucking subject—especially for Evan—and there’s no reason to dredge up all those emotions—and suspicions—if he’s going to disappear again.

And since he never went into the house across from Myra’s, it seems like he might.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I inadvertently look for Myra again, the need to make sure she’s okay taking precedence over just about everything.

And while she’s fine, I might not be. Because now she’s holding Piper and Tate’s baby. The bliss on her face is unmissable, and it builds an ache in my chest. I want to make her that happy. I want to give her whatever will make her feel like that every day.

“Come get something to eat.” Jill’s voice cuts through the noise and my own thoughts.

The parents of the group migrate to the large island covered in pasta, salad, and garlic bread, helping little hands fill plates. Using their shift as an excuse to get out of the way, I deposit the beer in the fridge and then go in search of Myra.

Again, she’s got a baby—this time Felicity and Cody’s newest. And again, the happiness on her face is unlike I’ve ever seen it. She turns her smile my way as I approach. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I reach out to smooth one finger over the baby’s soft head. “You on babysitting duty?”

Myra’s eyes move over my face. “For now.”

I step closer, wanting more of this moment. To pretend—just for a second—this isn’t Cody’s baby. That I finally have everything I’ve always wanted.

And I want Myra.

“Thank you so much.” Felicity slices the moment in half as she reaches out to scoop away the baby. “I had to pee so bad.”

Myra’s smile slips a little. “Any time.”

“You’re an angel.” Felicity gives Myra a quick kiss on the cheek before joining Cody and their other kids at the huge table running up one side of the space.

Myra crosses her now empty arms over her chest, a hint of sadness pinching her expression. I hate it, because I know exactly how she feels.

Even if you don’t grieve the loss of a relationship, you can still miss parts of it. The loss of what might have been. And I think that’s what Myra’s feeling right now. The loss of what she could have had if things had been different.

I know exactly how she feels.

“Come on.” I press a hand to her back. “Let’s go get you some food.”

The rest of the evening is a blur of eating, catching up, and entertaining kids. By the time it’s wrapping up, I’m more than ready to have Myra to myself again, so I don’t waste any time getting her out the door and into the dark quiet of the evening.

I wait until we’re outside before wrapping the flannel I brought around her shoulders. She might not need it, but I like the sight of her wearing something that’s mine. It shows who’s taking care of her. Who makes sure she’s warm and safe.

Makes it look like she’s mine.

As I lead her across the street, Myra peeks over one shoulder before looking up at me, voice low. “You guys didn’t tell everyone else Butch broke in.” Her lips press together. “Or that he asked about the house across the street.”

I shake my head. “We decided there was too much we didn’t know. Something’s going on with him, and it doesn’t feel right giving him up right now. We’ve done a lot wrong, and I can’t expect forgiveness if we won’t give it to him.”

Myra continues watching me instead of where we’re going, letting me guide her along.

“I know you think you’ve still got a lot to make up for, but I don’t think you do.

” She picks her way up the steps, one hand holding my T-shirt for added support as we go.

“You’re one of the best men I’ve ever met. ”

Her compliment makes me pause. “Is that what you were so busy thinking about while you were filling all those screw holes?”

“No.” Myra shakes her head, stopping on the stoop of her house to turn to me. Her blue eyes are wide as they meet mine. She lifts her chin a little, standing taller as she says, “I was thinking about how we should have a baby together.”