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Chapter Fifteen

NICOLE

A week after Taylor told Violet we were having sleepovers, Leo, Jacqueline, Signe, Zaid, and I were all walking into the building together. Leo pushed against the door, which didn’t budge.

As he stepped back to examine it, his dark brows pinched in confusion.

So, I informed him, “It’s a pull.”

Leo immediately hit me with, “Oi! Cheers, love, my next plan was to start lifting from the bottom but thank god you were here to tell me to pull.”

Signe threw her head back before releasing a loud laugh.

Zaid lowered his face to chuckle as he grabbed her hand and led her through the threshold.

“How many times have you walked through this door? Why did you magically think it would turn into a push?” I asked Leo before stepping into our building. He and Jacqueline followed in after me.

“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” Leo replied, throwing Jacqueline a wink.

She lifted a dark eyebrow at him before giving me a bored look, “He stayed up on his phone watching this animated rock opera series he discovered on YouTube. I took his phone away when I woke up at 3:00 am to see he hadn’t gone to sleep yet.”

I snickered as we all piled into the elevator together to take us to Sun Steer’s floor.

“Is my replacement being interviewed today?” Signe asked after a moment of silence.

“I hope so,” Jacqueline replied.

Signe dropped her jaw, widening her eyes at Jacqueline in offense, “What the hell does that mean?”

Jacqueline pinched her eyebrows together in confusion before clarity hit, and she panicked, “Wait, no! I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant I’m tired of interviewing people—I’m so sorry.”

Signe, the big teddy bear she was, laughed and squeezed Jacqueline in a side hug, “I’m just teasing you.”

Jacqueline’s shoulders visibly dropped at the reassurance. Leo rested his hand on her lower back until the elevator doors opened, and we all stepped off.

“Oh! You’re here.” Jacqueline stepped ahead of all of us and reached a hand toward a stranger loitering in front of Signe’s desk.

Brandon Moore was also standing in front of Signe’s desk, a visible frown on his face as he stared down at the woman who must have been one of Jacqueline’s interviewees.

She wore light-wash jeans and sneakers, with a white button-up shirt French-tucked into the front.

She was curvaceous, with a soft, feminine body that resembled my own.

“Hi. I’m Nora,” The woman turned to give Brandon her shoulder as she shook Jacqueline’s hand, “I know I’m a little early. I can wait for you to get settled if you need.”

“No need,” Jacqueline nodded her head in the direction of her office, “You’re my only interview today.” Nora grinned before flicking her dark eyes dismissively at Brandon. She tucked her honey-blonde hair behind her ears, showing off multiple cartilage piercings, and followed Jacqueline and Leo.

When she gave us her back, I noticed that underneath her hair was dyed a dark pink.

“Good luck!” Signe gave Nora two thumbs up as she set her bag on her desk.

Zaid pecked Signe on the head before he walked toward the software engineer’s wing of the building.

Brandon, however, looked stuck. He was still staring after Nora as she and Jacqueline rounded the corner toward upper management’s offices.

“Hey,” I elbowed Brandon to pull his attention away from her, “What’s your deal?”

Brandon blushed.

It wasn’t a subtle one either, but a dark one. His entire face turned bright red.

“I think I messed up.” he released a heavy sigh as he fell into step with me, heading toward our own offices. “Nora is a barista at the coffee shop I frequent. This morning, I might have snapped at her for getting my drink wrong.” He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

Brandon didn’t know it, but something opened in my chest at the admission from him. This wasn’t a casual conversation between two coworkers anymore. With a couple of sentences, I realized that Brandon possibly considered me to be, to some degree at least, a friend.

No man would ever bring something like this up with a coworker, let alone a female coworker. This was something you’d bring up with someone you trusted and respected. Someone you felt relatively safe with.

It hit me then.

Brandon and I were friends .

And as a friend, he was gently reaching out for advice.

“Oh,” I held in a laugh because Brandon didn’t seem to think this situation was funny, “Well, she might not take the job now that she knows you own the place.”

Brandon frowned at that, “Which will make Jacqueline’s team have to look for someone else to fill Signe’s position. Again.”

I lifted a shoulder in silent agreement before saying, “Or you could try to catch her on her way out. After Jacqueline’s interview, I mean. Apologize. Make sure she knows you won’t be rude to her if she’s hired.”

Brandon nodded at that, “You don’t think that would make it worse?”

I shook my head, “As long as you keep your apology brief and to the point, I think you’ll be fine. You don’t come off as someone who harasses people.”

“Oh, thank god,” Brandon looked genuinely relieved as he sighed his response. We made it to our offices, right next to each other, before he nodded at me, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled before unlocking my door and stepping through the threshold.

As soon as I took my phone out of my bag and set it on my desk, it vibrated.

Taylor: Are you coming to rugby tonight? I want to formally introduce you to my friends.

That made me pause.

It’d been a while since our first date, when I explained my fears.

My fears about having mutual friends.

My fears about their friends, possibly, becoming my friends.

My fears about feeling abandoned if Taylor and I didn’t end up working out long-term.

But I sat with those feelings, resting my phone on my desk to breathe through it.

I couldn’t hide from their friends forever. If I wanted something long-term, I needed to be part of their life, too.

When I heard Brandon answer a call through the thin wall we shared between our offices, I jerked my head up, recalling the conversation he and I had just had, and the revelation I had with it.

That was what I wanted, wasn’t it? Friends?

Community? People I could lean on, and people who could lean on me in return?

I mean, even Jacqueline and Leo were good friends of mine.

Signe, too. Zaid was a little more shy, but I had a feeling that if I had a flat tire and everyone else was busy, he would come help me change it without hesitation.

Warmth filled my chest at the thought.

I recalled Leo giving me shit when I teased him about opening the door to our building wrong.

Signe, Violet, Jacqueline, Mary, and Jamie, all hanging out at Signe’s apartment after work. Clad in jammies.

My relationship with Taylor wasn’t a threat to any of that.

They were an addition to all of my friendships.

It hit me then.

It caught me off guard. It happened so naturally.

I had friendships. Mine. Just because Leo and Jacqueline also happened to be friends with Taylor, it didn’t mean that they weren’t also my friends.

In my corner. Both could be true. The trauma of my past relationship made me want to draw all these clear lines in the sand, keeping my social circles perfectly organized so that if a hypothetical situation did arise, I’d be as protected as possible.

But…I was just holding myself back this whole time.

And Taylor was being so patient with me, too.

Even via text. They were giving me a chance to say I was busy with work by warning me what their intention was. To meet their friends.

I didn’t want to keep holding myself back. I couldn’t keep doing things scared. I needed to start doing things with a glass-half-full perspective.

So, I picked my phone up and replied to my partner.

Me: I can if you want me to.

Taylor: Obviously, I want you to.

I smiled, embracing the warm flutter in my stomach while reading their text.

Me: Then, obviously, I’ll be there.

The next text that came in was a picture of Taylor.

Their hair had grown long enough for them to tie into a ponytail on the back of their head, showing off their fresh fade. They were standing in their office at the clinic, giving the camera a silly smile with flexed nostrils and crazy eyebrows.

I barked a laugh before covering my mouth to smother the sound.

They were so unserious.

I glanced around my office before sitting in my desk chair and sending back a normal selfie.

I angled my head to show off my good side.

I kept the phone camera just below eye level, instead of high above my head like I used to do as a teenager.

I smiled widely, letting my eyes crinkle a bit to show how their picture made me laugh.

I sent it.

They heart-reacted to it almost immediately.

Taylor: I love your smile lines.

My heart thumped in my chest.

Taylor Desmond had mastered the art of compliments. They gave them to me freely. As soon as the thought entered their head, they said it. I wasn’t used to it.

I loved it.

Me: I love getting your goofy selfies.

Taylor: Thank god. See you tonight, babe.

I sighed before setting my phone down and forcing myself to lock in for the rest of the day. I was experiencing the honeymoon phase with them. I was falling, quickly.

On paper, it all seemed way too fast.

But I didn’t want to care about that.

Taylor was wonderful .

I felt safe with them. I felt appreciated. I felt wanted . When was the last time I felt all of this with a partner? Consistently like this?

They knew my concerns about breaking up with mutual friends.

If they were going out of their way to “formally” introduce me to their friends tonight, that meant something to them. They knew that meant something to me.

They were acting like they were all in.

Like they didn’t want to break up.

Ever.

Perhaps it was time for me to have a chat with them again. We hadn’t talked about the progress of our relationship in detail since that conversation during our date.

Perhaps this was a new, improved Nicole.

Willing to take what she wants.

Done mourning her last breakup.

Ready to step into the deep end with someone she did not expect at all.

“Yeah,” I sighed to myself as I clicked my laptop to life, “Tonight, we’ll talk.”

I tried really hard not to think myself into a negative, anxious spiral about my plans for the rest of the day.

Before, it would be easy for me to focus on the risk of getting too close to Taylor and their friends.

We already had a couple of mutual friends, my coworkers, whom I cherished more and more every day.

I didn’t want to lose them if things went south with Taylor and me.

But I didn’t want my fears and insecurities to get in the way of this, either.

There was a chance all of this would work out, right?

That Taylor and I could be happy together.

They wouldn’t want me to meet their friends if they didn’t think that, too.

So instead of worrying about sharing my friends with them at their rugby practice today, I forced myself to get lost in numbers, budgets, and company spending.

I’d found success in my career, but for some reason, finding success with romance felt much more intimidating.