Page 12

A nthony

I didn’t get the spot.

I didn’t get the spot and all I want to do is head back to the penthouse, grab Emerson and curl up to talk all of it out with her.

I jog down the sidewalk, bumping into people but not caring. Look at that, I’m fitting into New York already.

I can’t believe that I didn’t get the spot. Ari did say that they’re going to have another spot opening up soon and I’m invited to try out again. I could always get that spot, but that’s three weeks away. Do I just stay in New York until then?

I need to talk to Emerson. She’ll be able to help me figure it all out. She helps me clear my head.

I value her opinion, I realize.

I love you.

Her words from last night hit me and my steps falter. I can’t believe how I just choked and laid there. I just let her walk away from me. The worst part is that I could tell that she was upset and I still couldn’t force myself to go after her.

What was I going to say back to that? Did I love her? I knew the answer but it scared me. Actually it terrified me.

What future did we have? If I tell her that I love her, what can I really offer her? A guest room in my brother’s apartment? I’m a struggling comedian who might have to go back to Los Angeles while she could be staying here.

How long could that relationship really last?

We barely even know each other. It’s been less than a week since I first met her. How can I know if this is real? Can I really trust how I’m feeling about her right now?

My gut tells me that I can. Emerson is so different from anyone else. There’s something about her that calls to me on a cellular level. We’re meant to be.

I ride the elevator up to the penthouse, almost running over Eden as I step off.

“Whoa! Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” I say, reaching out to steady her.

“What’s the rush?” she asks, looking up at me with a worried glint in her eyes.

“I just needed to talk to Emerson.”

“Oh, she left.”

Those two words have my heart, my world, screeching to a halt.

“She left? What do you mean she left?”

Yeah, asshole, of course she left. She told you she loved you and you just laid there like a fucking idiot.

“Yeah, she got that gallery position and flew back to Los Angeles to pack up her apartment. Didn’t she tell you?”

“No, I… I haven’t heard from her all day,” I admit as my brain starts to work once more.

“Oh, sorry, I thought that you knew. Did you hear back from your audition yet?” she asks as she straightens her purse strap on her shoulder.

“Yeah, I didn’t get it, but I can audition again in a few weeks.”

“Oh, Anthony. I’m so sorry. I’m sure you’ll get it next time. You were hilarious.”

“Thanks, Eden,” I say, hoping that she’s done talking so that I can escape to my room.

“You know that you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you need to.”

“Does Alexander know that you just said that?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood and she laughs.

“I can handle your brother. I’m actually running late to meet him now. I’ll let you relax. There’s food in the fridge!” she calls as she steps onto the elevator.

I wave at her as the doors close and then jog up the stairs and into the room that I had been sharing with Emerson.

Her suitcase is gone, her clothes too and I want to scream.

My phone rings in my pocket and I pray that it’s her. Theo’s name flashes on the screen and I answer, knowing that I need to tell him about the audition and my new plans.

“Hey, man,” I say as I pick up.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asks and I can hear the Los Angeles traffic in the background.

“Alright. I didn’t get the spot but I can try again in a few weeks,” I blurt, ripping off the band-aid.

“Shit, that sucks, man. At least you get to try again soon.”

“Yeah, hopefully the second time’s the charm.”

“Right?” Theo asks with a laugh and the traffic quiets, so he must have walked into a building.

“Are you going to stay in New York? Work on your comedy there for a little bit?”

I still haven’t decided. Part of me wants to run back to Los Angeles but I know that if I want to be successful, then I need to stay here and try again.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good.”

“That means we won’t be able to move out here together for a few weeks,” I warn him, wondering how he’s going to take the news.

“That actually works better for me. I got a contract to shoot in Paris for the next two weeks and then I’m headed to Australia for a week. I won’t be back in Los Angeles and ready to move to New York until the end of the month.”

“Perfect timing then. Are you doing Fashion Week?”

I only half listen as Theo tells me about the shoots that he booked. I can hear the excitement in his voice and I want to be happy for him but I keep thinking about how everyone is reaching that next level and I’m just left here.

“How’s Emerson?” Theo asks and I’m jerked out of my pity party.

My mouth opens but just like last night, no words come out.

“Anthony?” Theo asks after a minute and I swallow hard.

“I don’t know,” I say truthfully.

Silence hangs in the air between us and I know that he can read my melancholy mood.

“I have a layover in New York in a few days. Do you want me to bring any of your stuff and we can meet at the airport?” he asks me, throwing me a lifesaver and changing the subject.

“No, I have enough clothes.”

“What about money?” he jokes and I snort.

“I’m staying with Alexander and Eden.”

“Ohhh, so you’re living the good life.”

“Pretty much.”

He laughs and we catch up for a few more minutes before we end the call.

I look around the empty room, wondering what in the hell I should be doing now.