Page 58

I’ve officially taken over Loft Media since Imogen moved on to bigger and better things. The transition was rough, but I’m grateful to be able to run the company I started at all those years ago. Not only did I work my ass off to get where I am, but I was able to do it with Ella by my side.

“Am I too early?” my sister says as she waltzes through the door.

“I regret giving you a key now,” I say as I hug her. “But I am glad to see you.”

“Alissa, thank fuck,” Ella sighs. “Can you help me set up everything before our parents arrive?”

“Is Lizzie coming too? ”

“Yes, and her husband.” Ella smiles. I let the two of them settle in and finish up everything while I get the food ready.

I’m grateful my parents made the trip over here. Obviously, we stay in touch, but I’ve missed actually seeing them. Ella and I got to London over the summer, but it’s still been too damn long.

Soon, this house will be filled with two families, lots of laughter, and probably too much cursing, but I love it. I was so afraid of missing out on things being in the States, but now that I’m older, more secure, Ella and I are able to travel and see them whenever we can.

No longer am I worried I’m not doing enough for my family—Ella wakes up every morning and tells me I’m enough for her. Those words are all I need, and I can’t believe she still deals with my annoying arse.

I thought she would tire of me. I thought she would get sick of me one of these days, but every morning, I get to wake up to her beautiful face, those curls sticking to my face as our dogs lay between us. I thank my lucky stars she opened the damn door for me all those years ago.

I’ve reached the other side of the monkey bars, all thanks to Ella, and I can’t wait to see where this next phase of our life takes us.

“Leo?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Can you get the door? I think everyone is here.”

As soon as I’m back in reality, I hear knocks, and as I open the door and both our families filter inside, I send a thank you into the universe for being so good to me.

After the best dinner I’ve ever prepared, our families are all gathered in the living room to open presents. I can’t believe we’re all here together; I never take this time for granted—sometime in the future, this won’t be possible.

But I can’t think about that right now.

“Okay, so before we open presents,” my sister says as she gets up, “there’s something I want to tell you all.”

“Lizzie, please don't tell me you got another piercing,” my dad groans. “Just don’t tell me where it is this time, okay? I do not need the details.”

Matthew, our other dog, crawls into my lap while I wait to hear what my sister has to say.

“Dad, calm down,” she says. “It’s not a big deal.” Lizzie reaches into her bag and pulls out two small boxes, one for my dad and one for me. She hands them to us and looks over at her husband, her eyes shining as bright as the lights on the tree.

“Can we open them?” I ask, petting my very needy dog. “Lizzie, you’re kind of scaring me.”

“Don’t be scared. Just open them,” she tells us, and as I pull out a shirt that says Aunt Ella on it, tears burst from my eyes.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes!” she tells me. “You’re going to be the best aunt ever, Ells.”

I practically scream as I hug my sister.

“We’re going to spoil that child rotten,” Leo says as he hugs her. “And you can’t say a word about it. ”

“I would never tell you two what to do with your money,” Lizzie says as I wrap her in another hug.

“I’m so happy for you, sis.” I squeeze her. “You’re going to be the best mother.”

“I was worried at first.” She locks eyes with me. “I was scared I didn't have it in me because of—”

I shake my head. “No. No, you’re nothing like her,” I remind her. “Your child is going to be so full of love, they won’t know what to do with it all. And I will be here by your side through it all, Lizzie.”

“Thank you, Ells.” A few tears fall as we hug again. “Thank you for taking care of me all those years. I’m pretty sure I wouldn't be here now if not for you.”

“I love you,” I tell her. “And I am so proud of you, Lizzie.”

Tissues are passed around the room. As we settle in for the remaining presents, I really stop and take it all in.

I’m surrounded by my family, the one I was born with and the one I inherited when I chose Leo. The love in the room is astounding, and it covers me like a warm blanket.

When I was a child, I grew up so fast, I never thought I would have a chance to really live my life to the fullest. I thought I was always destined to take care of others and put their lives above my own.

But sitting here now, I realize I not only have a partner in my life who reminds me to slow down, but one who takes care of me. He loves me for who I am, and he’s never tried to change me. He only lifts me up when I’m not strong enough to do it for myself.

I still have my friends to remind me of all those things too—when they’re not too busy with their own families and children. I’ve taken my life back from all the years I spent working myself to the bone, trying to remind myself I was good enough.

Well, now, I have nothing to prove. The only life I want to live is one beside Leo, hearing him cheer me on so loud, I never remember what it was like to be on my own.

In the years to come, I hope we can fill this house with more parties, more laughs, more friendship, and more love.

Because not only do we deserve it, but we earned it.

Walking in the Wind by One Direction

“What do I do with this, Dad?” my daughter Riley asks me as she holds up the pasta dough. “It feels weird.”

“Put it through the roller a few more times until it’s nice and long,” I tell her. Not only is my daughter my favorite assistant in the kitchen, but being able to teach her one of my favorite things has been the best part of being a father.

Well, among the other million things I love about it.

Aspen is with Paige in the other room, the two of them playing with her toys before Hads and Grant get here with their kids. Never did I imagine my sister having four kids, but that’s the reality.

“Am I doing okay?” my daughter asks, and I move from what I’m stirring to help her handle the dough .

“You’re doing great, sunshine,” I tell her. “Now, lay it out on the counter, and I’ll cut it while you set the table, okay?”

“Okay.” She hops off the small stool I keep for her in the kitchen before she grabs the plates to set the table.

“Winnie, no,” I say to our dog, who sits patiently, waiting for small scraps of food to fall off the table. “It’s not dinner time for you yet.”

A heavy sigh and a flop to the floor is all I get from her.

“Hey, Dad?”

“What’s up?”

“Do you think one day, I can have a book club just like Mom does?”

Her big green eyes shine back at me, and as I set the spoon down to let the broth rest, I sweep her up in my arms. Most of our kids are readers, thanks to the girls and all their meddling, and even the young ones who can’t form words yet will probably follow in their footsteps.

“Is that something you want?”

She nods.

“Then one day, you’ll find your people.” I tap her on the nose. “Just how your mom did, you’ll find the people who will love you as you are, not as who you pretend to be.”

“Do you think so?”

“I know so,” I tell her as she nuzzles her head into my shoulder. “Just don’t force friendships, okay? When you find your people, you’ll know.”

“Like how you knew you loved Mom when you first met her?”

“Yeah, baby, kind of like that.”

I hear Paige laughing from the other room, our daughter's laughter echoing into the kitchen as well, and I try to wrap my mind around the past few years. I never thought I’d find a home like the one Paige and I have created.

I always thought my future would be full of loneliness because I refused to let anyone in .

Then, along came Paige, and everything changed for the better. That girl saved my goddamn life—more than once. I’ll never be able to thank her for giving me our two beautiful daughters and the life we live now.

It’s perfect. It’s everything, and Paige gave that to me.

“Now, go wash up with your sister before your cousins get here,” I tell her as I set her down, heading to see my wife before all hell breaks loose.

I feel Oliver’s presence before he makes himself known.

“Hi, my love,” I say as I swing around, grabbing some toys and putting them back in their bin in the toy room. Aspen barrels out of the room, following her sister to the bathroom. Oliver and I laugh as he pretends she knocked him off his feet. “How is dinner coming?”

“It’s almost done. Are Hads and Grant on their way?”

“They are,” I confirm as I get up and throw my arms around his neck. “What are you thinking about?”

“You,” he says as he presses a kiss to my forehead. “Our life.”

“Oh, so nothing too heavy,” I joke. “What about it?”

“I’m just lucky, P,” he says as he spins me around. “I’m so fucking lucky to have found you.”

“Likewise,” I tell him as I press a kiss to his lips.

Lately, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about the past—mine specifically.

Growing up, I never could have imagined my life would look so…

happy. All I knew when I was a kid was sadness, loneliness, and every other horrible emotion in between.

I was scared, so often terrified I wouldn't be around to grow up and escape the house I was raised in.

I broke that cycle. I did that, and I am so fucking proud of myself for creating a life with the man I love.

I have children I love more than myself most days, and I cannot imagine my life without them in it. I can’t imagine not being here for every big, small, and in between moment.

I’m not alone anymore—in fact, I’m so far from it, I can barely remember what that emotion feels like anymore. I have a family, one I chose and one who chose me right back.

Gone is the girl afraid of her own shadow, and in her place is someone strong, confident, and brave.

“Can we watch the sunrise with the kids tomorrow morning?” Oliver asks me, and I smile into his lips.