Page 46

Two Weeks Later

Miles to Go by Gregory Alan Isakov

“I’m so happy to see you!” Paige squeals as she throws her arms around me.

“Thanks,” I smile. “But can we actually get inside your apartment? I’m freezing.”

“Oh, yeah.” She lets go as she ushers me inside, everyone else staring back at me.

“What?”

“I assumed you were a figment of my imagination,” Oliver jokes as he goes to the kitchen for a bottle of water.

“I’ll take this to-go in case you poisoned it.” I pat him on the arm, and he moves away from me.

“I wouldn't waste poison on you, Ames.”

“Aw,” I say, my hand on my heart.

“Guys,” Hads threatens. “Don’t make me get my ruler out.”

Oliver and I look at one another before we move to sit down, Paige clearing a spot on the couch for me. Oliver takes the floor in front of his wife.

“So, lovebirds,” I joke, “how was the honeymoon?”

“Ugh.” Paige’s head falls back. “It was amazing. It was the New England trip of my dreams. Thanks to Grant and his mom, we had the most adorable cabin on the water, and hearing the birds chirp when we woke up in the mornings was so peaceful. It was the detox we both needed.” She puts her hands on Oliver’s shoulders. “Right, Ol?”

He nods. “It was wonderful, but my favorite part is getting to call you my wife now.” He presses a kiss to one of her hands, and we all groan.

“We get it, you’re married.” I roll my eyes.

“Do you have pictures?” Ella asks.

“I made a PowerPoint!” Paige says as she hops up to get her computer, I assume.

“I’ve heard the scenery is phenomenal up there,” Leo says as he sips his drink. “Darling, we should plan a trip at some point.”

“As soon as you’re not so busy at work, that sounds like a plan.” Ella tilts her head at him. “You’re a worse workaholic than I was.”

“Am,” Leo and Grant say at the same time.

“Oh, come on,” Ella groans. “I own my own business, which means I can work from anywhere! Vacations are easy for me.”

“No offense, Ells, but when was the last time you actually took a break?” I ask her, and she goes quiet. “Exactly.”

“Oh, don’t even.” She points her drink at me. “You dropped off the face of the Earth. ”

“She’s got a point,” Oliver agrees.

“You know what?” I scoff. “I deserved that one, but let's not make that a longer running joke than Oliver almost ending up in jail.”

“Ha!” Oliver says as he stands up. “You said almost!”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard him speak this loud in my entire life.

“You know what I meant.”

“No! You can’t joke about it anymore because you said I almost ended up in jail, not that I was in jail!” Oliver looks around for support, but nothing happens.

“You were behind bars,” Grant says.

“And you lied to me for months,” Hads says.

“You told me you were over that! Don’t tell me you’re still mad at me?” he asks his sister, and she simply shrugs.

“It was a stressful day, Oliver.”

“Paige almost got killed,” Ella reminds us. “And you were behind bars.”

“Sometimes, I think I’m happy not having known you all well prior to last year, but other times, I feel like I missed all the crazy shit.” Leo shakes his head. “Probably for the best. I would have made it worse, knowing my track record.”

“Okay, everyone sit down,” Paige shouts as she plugs her laptop into the television. “What were you guys just talking about?”

All of us are quiet for a few seconds before Oliver sits down and Ella speaks up.

“We’re just excited to see pictures.”

Paige smiles before she launches into a very thorough slideshow of her honeymoon. I have to admit, some of the pictures of the food they had make me jealous. I desperately need a vacation, but in a way, I was on an extended one for two years.

It feels good to be around these people again.

Over these past two weeks, all I’ve done is talk to my therapist, figure out a plan for a new routine over here, and apply to jobs in case the one with Kacey ends up being a dead end.

It’s been a big adjustment, but the girls have been here for me through all of it.

They even helped me shop for furniture a few days ago.

An hour later, Paige finishes, and we all clap, not only for the artistry, but because the last photo was a picture of Oliver falling off a paddleboard.

“So, what’s going on with everyone else?” Paige asks as she closes her laptop.

“Same old shit, really,” Ella says. “It was only two weeks, P. All of us mostly went to work and did our usual routines.”

Everyone nods before they all turn to me, as if they’re waiting for me to say something.

“Uh, can I help you?”

“Has anything…” Grant pauses, “interesting happened to you lately?”

“With you and perhaps another person…” Paige smirks as she sits back down, her eyes bright and wide, as if she’s waiting for me to give her the right answer.

These two could not be more obvious.

“Wow, way to be nonchalant, you guys,” Leo jokes.

“Oh, come on!” Paige scooches closer to me. “What is going on between you and Henry? Are you going to get him back or what?”

“Paige—” Ella starts, but I cut her off.

“It’s okay,” I say with a small smile. “I want to try, but I have no idea what to do or where to start.”

“You really want him back?” Hads questions, and I nod.

“I’m terrified, and I really don’t trust myself yet, but I will,” I tell them. “Of course I still love him. After all we went through, after all I did, it was hard to just let him go. I don’t think I’ll ever be unlatched from him, and I don't want to be. ”

Another thing I’ve done over the last two weeks is think about the guy I’m still in love with. I can’t get him out of my head.

“Just don’t fuck it up again,” Oliver says. “He doesn't deserve that. Not again, Amelia.”

“Can it, inmate. I’m trying to be better, to do better. Have some faith in me,” I tell him, and he holds his hands up in defeat.

“So, what are you going to do?” Leo asks me. “Have you figured that out yet?”

“No,” I say as I grab my necklace. “I figured you guys could help me.” I look around at the girls, and before I know it, Paige has grabbed her whiteboard. She and Hads are setting it up, drawing some sort of list.

“Okay,” Hads says as she waves her ruler around as if it's a pointer. “We need some suggestions, people. Let’s hear them.”

“This feels all too familiar,” Oliver says. “Why do we do this so often?”

“What? Use the whiteboard?” Hads asks him.

“Yeah. We can’t just talk things out?”

“No, Ol,” Paige smirks. “We’re visual people.”

“Can we focus?” I ask before my mind starts to spiral.

“Sorry,” Hads says. “Okay, you could send him flowers once a week or something?”

I shake my head. “That’s not enough.”

“You could make some sort of public grand gesture to show him you’re not scared of loving him,” Paige suggests, a glint in her eye as she speaks. “Grand gestures are important, right?”

Ella shakes her head. “Not in their case.”

“What do you mean, Ella?” I ask her.

“All Henry has wanted from you, or at least what I think he wants from you, is for you to prove you’re going to stop running.”

“Yeah, that tracks,” Grant says as Hads scribbles it down.

“As long as you show up for him like you have for us, I think he’ll realize you’re serious about making it work,” Ella tells me.

“I mean, over the last two weeks, I’ve seen you more than when we were in college.

You’re putting the work in with us, Ames.

You essentially have to do the same thing with him.

It’s not going to be easy, but as long as you keep showing up, that’s all he’ll need to trust you again. ”

“Do you think that’s all it will take? If I were him, I wouldn't trust her one bit,” Hads says before she apologizes. “Sorry.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” I tell her.

“Prove to him you’re planting roots and making a home here.

” Paige smiles. “Henry will come around like we all did. You have to love him loudly, Ames. You have to run toward him when you’re scared, not away, and I think he understands it will take some more time for you to do that.

But I’m also betting he’s willing to give you another chance, especially with how he looked at you during the wedding. ”

“You think?” I ask, and everyone nods.

“The guy was heartbroken, but those eyes?” Leo shakes his head. “The eyes never lie, and he is still madly in love with you, even if you did break his heart.”

“He doesn't even know I’m still in Virginia,” I tell them. “I never told him I was leaving England.” Everyone starts shouting, and I get immediately overwhelmed. “What?”

“Why didn't you tell him?” Hads asks, shouting at me.

“It never came up. We had more pressing things to discuss!”

“You have to go show him you’re back for good!” Grant says as he scribbles something down on a piece of paper. “Someone get Amelia’s purse for her.”

“What? Why?”

“You have to tell him, Ames.” Grant hands me the paper while Ella grabs my purse. “Here’s his address. Go.”

“Right now? I thought we were going to have—”

“Movie night can wait! This is more important,” Paige shouts, her voice filled with excitement. “Go, Ames! ”

And they practically shove me out the door. As soon as I get outside, my heart starts to race as I sprint to my car, needing to show Henry I’m capable of planting roots and building a home somewhere.

Not anywhere, though. Here. Here in Virginia, with the family I never knew I needed but somehow was lucky enough to find.

My mind went into tunnel vision mode as soon as Grant gave me Henry’s address. I left right from Paige’s place, not wanting to waste another second. I’ve wasted enough time in my life, and I won’t spend more of it letting Henry slip away from me.

I want our life to start as soon as it can. I know it’s going to be a long time until he fully trusts me again, but I’m going to put in the work. He is worth it.

I don't want to erase our past together—there’s no way we could—but I want to use it to remind myself what not to do, to remind myself what happened when I left him the first time. I’m going to learn from every mistake I’ve made, and I’m going to try my fucking hardest to not make them again.

I’m still a human, so I know I’m still going to mess up, but hopefully, this time, I won’t be consciously aware of my fuckups.

I turn into the lot of his building, no music playing through my speakers as I practically jump out of my car. I find his door immediately, and before I think about turning around, I knock.

The small light outside flicks on, and it only takes a few seconds for the door to open. When he sees it’s me on the other end, his mouth drops open ever so slightly, and I can't tell if it's because he’s surprised to see me here, or if he wants me to leave .

“Hi,” is all I can say, kicking myself for somehow being the most awkward person on the planet.

“Hey,” he says as he puts his hands in his pockets, the door swaying between the two of us. “Do you want to come in?”

“No,” I say as I grab my necklace, needing a bit more strength. “This won’t take long.” That earns me a head tilt. “I need to know if you could ever forgive me.”

“What?”

“Please,” I beg. “I need to know if some day, by some miracle, you could forgive me for breaking us. I might not be sure of anything in my life at this moment, but the one thing I am sure about is you. I was giving you space after the wedding, but I can’t do that anymore.

When I realized I still loved you, after all this time, I came right over. ”

“So this is a recent revelation, then, isn't it?”

I shake my head.

“Don’t play with my feelings again, Amelia,” he says as his head drops. “You know what I said to you at the rehearsal dinner, and if this is some—”

I cut him off. “It’s not. I just need to know if you can ever forgive me. I need to know if we have a shot at being happy again, because if we do, I’m going to fight like hell for us.”

His eyes get heavy as he takes a moment to think, and I can tell all our best and worst moments are filtering through his head.

Part of me is terrified to hear his answer.

If he wants me to leave and never come back, I will.

I have to respect what he says, but if there’s even a small sliver of hope he can forgive me, I’m putting my fucking game face on.

“I don’t exactly trust what you’re saying to me, but…” He trails off, and my stomach flips as I await his next words. “I loved you once, Mills. With how easy it felt for me, I could absolutely do it again.”

“You could? ”

He steps closer, getting into my personal space. “Yes, but I’ve also watched you leave before. I watched you fade from my life. How do I know this isn't just you showing up at my door, wearing your best apology, telling me what I’ve dreamed about you saying for two years?”

“Because I’m not the same person. In some ways, I might be, and I’m still terrified about so many things, but I’m trying to be better.

That’s the difference. I actually want to be the person you and the girls thought I was back in college.

I’m going to be better, and I’m going to prove to you I can love you louder than the voices in the back of your head telling you it’s all bullshit. ”

He looks down at me, his eyes hooded as the smallest smirk appears, then vanishes in a split second. “No.” He grabs the necklace on my neck and rubs the pendant between his fingers. “You’re not the same person you were all those years ago.”

I want to ask him how he can tell, but his breath on my face and his eyes staring into mine have suddenly made me forget every word.

“But we can’t just pick up where we left off,” he whispers, his face coming closer as he lets my necklace drop and traces his thumb over my lips. “If you want me back, Amelia, you’ll have to earn me.”

“I will,” I whisper back to him. “I’ll do whatever it takes to rewrite our story, Henry. I’m not giving up on us again.”

“Good. I am a writer, after all. I know how powerful words can be, but it’s the actions backing up those words that mean the most to me,” he says as he steps back from me. “Did you fly all the way here from England to tell me this?”

“No. I drove over here from Paige’s place,” I say as I try to hide my flushed cheeks.

“How long are you staying with her?”

“I’m not.” He tilts his head at me again, still confused.

“Then how long are you back? ”

I turn around, heading back to my car, knowing I have to prepare myself.

“Amelia?”

“I’m back for good!” I say as I spin around, his smile overtaking his face. “Like I said, Hen, I’m not messing this up again.”

“Then I’ll leave the light on for you,” he says as he shuts his door, and I smile like an idiot all the way home, my music blasting, my windows down, and the wind in my hair.

It feels good to be home.