Page 45

Ghostin by Ariana Grande

I’m going to be hungover from this trip for weeks, socially and physically.

I’ve missed my friends, and I made the right decision coming back here for good. I can’t wait to keep making more memories alongside them.

Everyone scattered last night. Well, everyone let Paige and Oliver have the boys’ suite to themselves for their wedding night. All the boys roomed with their girls, though Henry left during the reception, according to Grant.

Part of me still thinks we could work it out. If given the chance, I’d love him right this time. I’d love him louder than I did. I’d show him off every moment I could because he’s an incredible person. He deserves to be loved out loud, with no hiding or secrets.

I need to talk to him again, but I’m going to give him some space before I do.

I can’t just jump into this with no plan.

I need to prove to myself I can keep showing up for people.

I have to work on my own shit before I can love Henry how he deserves.

Plus, seeing me in such close proximity for two weeks was bound to fuck his mind up, so he needs some room to digest his feelings.

I zip up my last suitcase before heading out to the rest of my friends, all of them gathered by the table in the kitchen, looking at something. As soon as Grant locks eyes with me, he clears his throat, looking guilty.

“Uh, hi?” I say as I drag my stuff over with the rest of their luggage. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Paige says, her adorable white sweat-set making her pop even more than she usually does. “I’m actually afraid to ask, but when will we see you again? I’m assuming your flight to England is today or tomorrow.”

Ella locks eyes with me, and I forgot I only mentioned to her that very first night that I was staying.

“I’m not leaving.”

“What?” Hads questions.

“Like at all?” Grant smirks towards me.

“I swear, if you say the words for now, I’m going to punch you,” Paige threatens with the biggest smile on her face.

“God, we really can’t get rid of you, can we?” Oliver rolls his eyes before Paige and Leo smack him. “Ow!”

“How is it that you just got married, and you’re still an arsehole?” Leo jokes.

“When it comes to me, Oliver will always be annoyed,” I say, and he nods as he agrees with me. “But I’m not leaving. I’ll be here for the long haul, if you’ll all still have me. ”

Paige shrieks, and Grant envelops me in a hug.

“This is the best day ever!” Paige squeezes me the hardest, and even after everyone else pulls away, she’s still holding me. I can't help the smile that comes from my face.

“Oof, that’s not what you want to hear the day after your wedding, is it, buddy?” Grant elbows Oliver in the side.

“I’m going to go pack up the car,” Oliver says.

“I’ll join you, mate,” Leo says as he grabs some suitcases. I’m driving home with Ella and Leo while the Baker family and Grant drive in the other car. Grant and Hads are dropping Paige and Oliver off at the airport for their honeymoon in Vermont.

“So, you’re actually staying?” Hads questions again, probably not believing me.

“Yeah. I quit my job and sold my place in England. My routine is all out of whack, but that’s a decently easy adjustment. A fresh start, if I can even call it that.”

“You absolutely can,” Grant says. “And if I say so myself, you’re already doing a great job.”

“Thanks. I mean, I don’t have a job or health insurance or any of those important adult things, but I do have a place to live. And I have you all again, so I’m doing alright.” I smile as I look around the room at my favorite people.

“You’ll figure it out, Ames,” Ella tells me. “We’ll help in any way we can.”

“We can have book club in person again!” Paige’s excitement is making all the difficult stuff I’ve been through worth it. I didn't think anyone would care that I was back for real, but of course, I underestimated the people around me again.

I really need to call my therapist when I get back.

“I’m excited for this new chapter,” I say as I spot a small box on the table. “It’s going to be good. ”

“When I get back from Vermont, we’re going to have a huge debrief, okay?” Paige looks at me for confirmation, and I nod my head. “Good! Ah, it will be just like old times!”

“I can’t wait,” Ella says as she gathers our remaining bags. “Now, let’s go help the boys load all this up.”

“Paigey, you’re not lifting a thing!” Grant says as she goes for her suitcase. “Neither are you, Hades.”

“You’re going to get all of this stuff downstairs by yourself?” Hads questions him. “No way.”

She grabs a suitcase in each hand as he drags a hand down his face.

“Just go with them, G,” I say as I head for the door, but he stops me with his arm across my body. “What?”

“I have something for you,” he says as he grabs a small box from the table and hands it to me. “I don’t know what it is, but he gave it to me before he left and told me to give it to you.”

I stare down at this small box, wondering what Henry could have given Grant for me before he left. Part of me is sure I should never open this box, just leave us in the past. But the selfish part of my brain feels like there is hope behind this gift, whatever it is.

“Do you want to open it now? I can leave—”

“Stay. Please. If I’m alone, I’ll go insane or something,” I say as I carefully open the box, a small note falling out. As Grant reaches for the note, I’m shocked by what I see staring back at me.

The necklace Henry once bought me—the one I gave back to him—shines back at me, and my heart is going to explode. He gave it back. Why did he give it back?

“Here,” Grant says as he hands me the small paper. “I only read some of it, and it’s not my fault. It’s not folded.”

I chuckle as I take the necklace out of the box, already fastening it around my neck. As soon as it's around me, I feel calmer. I don’t know what’s in this necklace, or maybe it’s a psychological thing, but it has always been helpful in calming my racing mind.

This was never meant to be mine. It will always belong to you. Take care of it and yourself, Mills.

I hope you find what you’re looking for, and someday, maybe I can hear all about it.

Never forget you were loved by someone, even if it was only for a moment. This necklace is proof of that.

– H

A tear slips from my eyes before I can stop it. Grant says nothing as he wraps me in his arms, comforting me when it’s the furthest thing I deserve right now.

Henry Hayes is proof I can be loved, and I had it, even if it was momentary. It still existed, and that’s enough.

I can’t stop staring at the note he left me.

None of us have said anything during the drive back besides Ella getting mad at the traffic and Leo trying to calm her down.

Neither of them asked me about the tears in my eyes when Grant and I got down to the car, and my brain is spiraling in about forty different ways.

Henry and the love we shared was…God, it was legendary. It was everything.

But does what I did negate it all? I don't think it can, but maybe in his mind, it does. All I can see when I close my eyes are his somber, broken, and disheartened eyes. Until he’s out of my system, my memories, my everything, I think that’s all I’ll see.

“Amelia?” Ella’s eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror. “Did you hear what I said?”

“No.” I grab my headphones out of my ears. They’re not even on. That’s how I know I’m struggling—I didn't even bother turning on my music to cloud out the rest of my thoughts.

“Told you, darling.” Leo smirks. “Did Grant try to clone you or something? Did he make you do a blood oath while you two were up there?”

“No, but weirdly enough, both of those things have almost happened,” I laugh. “I’m just thinking about Henry. He gave me back my necklace before he left.”

“I noticed you wearing it when you came back down. I was going to ask about it, but I didn't want to press,” Ella says. “You know he’s not going anywhere, right? And neither are you, might I add.”

“What do you mean?” I ask her.

“Just because your mind thinks this is the end doesn't mean it has to be. Henry is in Virginia. You’re in Virginia. It’s never really over until you both decide it is. Did you guys talk about that in any of your arguments—I mean, conversations?”

That earns an eye roll, but I know she’s coming from a place of love. “We never explicitly stated it was completely over, I guess. But that feels like a technicality, Ells. I don’t know if Henry can ever get past what I did to him.”

“The girls and I did,” she reminds me. “Granted, what you did to him was a lot worse—”

“True that,” Leo jumps in. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I tell him. “I know you all got past me ghosting, but—”

“Stop,” is all she says. “If you’re truly serious about trying to win Henry back, then prove it.

If you do what you did with us, then you two could be really happy.

When you two just met, I almost didn't recognize you. You were softer. You smiled and joked around more. You were in love, Amelia, and if you really love Henry like we all think you do, then work it out.”

“But don’t just run back to him because he’s familiar. You have to truly love him, or it won’t work,” Leo adds, and even Ella is surprised, looking over at him in the passenger seat.

“Leo’s right,” she says with an eye roll. “You have to really want to make it work. Do you think you can do that with Henry?”

“I don’t want to hurt him again.”

“Then don’t, Ames. Fight like hell to break your own pattern of running, and prove to the people you love that you’re here for the long haul.

Don’t let a few mistakes keep you from the life you deserve.

But if you’re going to fight for him, you better fight like hell, because he deserves that and more. ”

I touch the necklace again, dragging the pendant on the chain.

Of course I still love him, and not just because he was my first and only love. Henry truly feels like the missing piece I’ve been looking for my entire life. When I was with him, I felt whole again. I felt like I mattered, like I was good enough.

He filled up my cup that he never spilled in the first place. I didn't have to beg him to love me, he just did, as if it was as easy for him as breathing.

“Don’t you guys love the groveling trope?” Leo says.

Ella and I can’t help but laugh. He’s right.

“Yes,” I say with a smile. “I’ll be living in mine for as long as it takes, it seems.”

I’m going to love him right this time. I’m going to prove to him he’s worth it, because he always has been.