“Humans are made for connection. We crave that feeling of being in a crowded room and having someone light up when they see our face. It gives you that single split second of a reminder that someone out there is happy you exist.” — Our Best Kept Secret , Henry Hayes

After writing almost six thousand words today while everyone was getting ready for the rehearsal dinner, I feel lighter than I have all week. Paige, Oliver and the rest of the wedding party did a walk through for what tomorrow will look like, but all I’ ve done today is write.

The words have been pouring out of me, and after months of pulling my own hair out over this manuscript, things are finally moving in the right direction.

I should feel excited about it, but it’s left me feeling a bit empty.

After everything that has happened over the past two weeks, I thought I would be elated to write again.

That is why I came here, isn't it? I wanted to subject myself to the emotional torture that is being around Amelia because I knew it would work, and it has, but I don’t feel how I thought I would.

“Hey, buddy,” Grant says as he hands me a drink. As the best man, I assumed he would be hanging around Oliver all night, but he and Paige are mingling. “Figured you would need this.”

“Thanks,” I say as I take a sip of the mixed drink.

“It’s weird,” Grant says, taking a sip of his own drink. “Seeing everyone here is an odd feeling I can’t quite place.”

“Well, this is the first wedding to come out of your group. There’s bound to be some big emotions and nostalgia.”

“Sometimes, I want to go back,” he tells me, smiling from ear to ear as he settles his gaze on Hads across the room. She’s talking with Claire, who’s leaning against Jacks, but her eyes find him in an instant and she winks. He’s blushing when I look back over at him.

“Back to where it all started? Didn't you two hate one another back then?”

“She disliked me, but I was a goner from the moment I saw her.” He looks at me. “Do you ever wish to go back when everything felt easier?”

“All the time,” I tell him. “There’s this ache of remembering I have every once in a while, and somehow, I don’t think it will ever go away.”

“Well,” he taps my arm with a small box, “it’s nothing, really, but I wanted to get something for you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my friend, Henry, and I know this week has been tough for you.”

I open the small box to find a t-shirt that says ‘Team Henry.’ I thought Grant made these before Amelia and I got together in college, but maybe I’m misremembering. He must sense my confusion, because he speaks again.

“I’ll always be in your corner, man. No matter if you’re around or not, I’ll always be cheering you on from afar. If you have no fans, it means I’m dead.”

I laugh before he brings me in for a hug. “Thank you, Grant.”

“Anything for my favorite author.” He clinks his glass with mine before we’re interrupted.

“I don’t mean to break up whatever interaction this is,” Amelia says as she steps up to us. “But can I steal Henry from you?”

“Of course.” Grant tips his glass to Amelia. “If you need me, I’ll be stealing my girl from everyone else.”

I try to swallow, but my throat feels thick as her presence overwhelms me.

“I wanted to apologize again. For everything that happened in the parking lot, for leaving, for all of it. And this isn't some guilty, bullshit apology. I’m just…I’m sorry for everything.”

I set the shirt on a small table before I turn back to her. “I’m sorry too. For yelling, for doing it in public. I didn't want it to happen like this.”

“I know,” she says, her face falling as she looks around the room. “I just can’t help but think about what would have changed if I just asked you about the ring.”

“We can’t really know that, Ames.”

She shrugs her shoulders before taking another sip of what I assume is a mocktail. She hasn't been drinking this week, and I assume it's because of whatever medication she’s taking. “I know, but maybe we would have been celebrating Oliver and Paige together instead of…this.”

I shake my head at her before I slam the rest of my drink and set my glass down.

“Look, Amelia, I appreciate the apology, really, I do. I just don’t know what else you want from me.

” I’m glad we’ve cleared the air, but I can’t keep doing this.

I can’t keep throwing myself back into her orbit because I know how this all ends.

She has to focus on herself for the time being, and I don’t know if we’ll find our way back to one another again, but I can’t see that happening.

She gave me her necklace back. That to me is the biggest signal in the world that we’re done, no longer intertwined how we’ve been since college.

“We’re over, Amelia.” The words somehow escape through the thickness in my throat. “What happened between us happened, and we have to accept that we lost one another. I won’t give myself over to you again. I won’t do it.”

She nods. “I’ve broken your heart, Hen. I know I did, but truth be told, I’m not sure what I want. I’m still adjusting to this new part of my life.”

“Well, maybe you should figure that out before you run back to England. I won’t let you play with my feelings again, Amelia, especially not when I still have love in my heart for you somehow.”

“What?”

I look over at her, confusion and shock on her features, as if she didn't know, as if she couldn't see.

“When you left, it didn't just disappear. It lingered, it changed, but it’s still there. The other day, I told you I wish I hated you because that is so much easier. I wasn't lying when I said you were the first and only girl I was ever serious about. That kind of love, the one that consumes you fully, doesn't just leave. I love you, and I’m sorry, but I won’t let you do this to me again.”

“Henry—”

Hads clinks her glass, and everyone gathers around the table. I leave Amelia standing where she is as I head to my seat. I’ve been placed between Leo and Jacks, and I couldn't be happier to be as far away from Amelia as possible.

“Thank you,” Hads says as everyone settles in. “Before we all eat and celebrate my brother and one of my best friends, I wanted to say something.”

Hads turns to her brother and Paige, and I swear, I can already hear sniffles.

I think that’s what is so special about this group.

They all love each other endlessly. They’ve been through so much, so many highs and lows, so many scary moments, yet they all still surround one another with love and warmth.

“Growing up with someone like Oliver as my brother was the biggest honor I could have. Being able to call myself your sister is the greatest thing in the world to me. I can’t imagine having someone better to look up to, to make fun of, to talk to when I have no idea what to do in certain situations.

He was always a great listener, even when I came to him with my boy troubles. ”

Everyone laughs.

“Hey, I was right about Grant, thank you very much,” he says to the room.

“Appreciate it, bro.” Grant nudges Oliver, and Oliver leans away, trying to escape.

“But when I found out Paige over here was in love with him, I freaked out.

I almost couldn't wrap my mind around it,” she says, pausing to take a breath.

“But the first time I saw Oliver smile at her, I knew.

I knew these two were meant to be, and I wasn't going to stand in the way of that. Not only did my brother deserve a love that would soften his life, but Paige deserved someone who would move mountains for her. Both of them have found that in the other.”

Paige slumps her head on Oliver’s shoulder, and he wipes her tears from her face like I’ve seen him do so many times.

“So, to you two, my brother and my almost-sister, I am so happy to be here to celebrate the beginning of your forever. There are no two people more deserving of this happiness than you, especially after almost dying for one another—literally.”

More laughter floats around the table, and I can’t believe it was only a few years ago those two were dodging bullets and intruders together.

Their kids are going to hear some wild stories in the future, and I can’t even imagine them trying to explain how they get together.

That’s going to be the funniest conversation in the world.

“To Oliver and Paige,” Hads says, and we all raise our glasses, toasting to them.

For the rest of the evening, stories are traded over good food and even better dessert.

Maybe this isn't the end for me. Maybe one day, I’ll be around a table in a similar manner, trading stories with new friends I haven't met yet.

It’s a shame this one didn't work out, but that’s the thing about life, right? You have so many chances for a do-over, and even when you feel sad about something ending, there’s an entirely new door somewhere, just waiting for you to open it.