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Speyside by Bon Iver

The last place I want to be the night after a breakdown is an escape room, but here I am. The eight of us are signing all the paperwork in order to actually do it. I had no idea these places were so detailed, but I get it. These things are supposed to be a little scary, right?

It makes sense why Grant chose this as a group activity.

“So, which of you are doing the Saw inspired one, and which of you are doing the asylum?” the guy at the counter asks us before Grant speaks up.

“I’ve got teams covered,” he says with a smile. “I put all of our names in a random generator, and this is what popped out.”

“Oh, this ought to be good,” Oliver says as he hands his form in.

When the girls took one look at me coming out of my room this morning, I barely lasted two seconds before I burst into tears and told them how my talk with Henry went.

They were sympathetic, of course, but I know Henry was right.

I just can’t think about it anymore, and thankfully, they’ve done a good job of keeping the two of us separate for today.

“Okay, so, Leo, Hads, and Paige are with me in the asylum, and the rest of you are doing the other one.” Grant smiles, but I feel like my heart just fell to my feet.

Henry and I are going to be trapped together in a small room with Ella and Oliver, and we’re all going to have to work together to get out.

Fuck my life.

“Did everyone hand in their forms?” Ella asks as she brings hers to the front.

The guy at the counter counts them all, and once he confirms we’re good, he puts on a video for us to watch about the rules, and after that’s done, we’re all good to go.

Except Grant failed to mention the theatrics of this before we got here—their group is getting fake handcuffed as they head to the room they have to escape from.

“Oh my gosh, Oliver, is this what you felt like when you got handcuffed?” Hads asks him with a fake smile as he flips her off.

“If anyone comes within five feet of me with those things, I will be screaming,” Ella says. “But I’m sure you're used to this.” She smacks Oliver on the arm, and he sighs heavily.

“Can we just get this over with?” he asks, already annoyed.

“Alright, if you guys could just put these over your heads before we go in, that would be great.” He hands us all burlap sacks. “And two of you have to go ahead of the others. ”

“Are you serious?” I ask, knowing Oliver and Ella were about to say something much harsher to this poor dude.

“Yup,” is all he says. “And you two,” he points between me and Henry, “you both can follow me while the other two figure out the sacks.”

Ella and Oliver groan, and I’m literally going to throw up as I toss the sack over my head and wordlessly follow this guy down a few different dark hallways.

Henry has barely said a word, but I can feel the awkward energy coming off him.

I would rather die and end up a prop in one of these rooms than talk with him.

As we turn into the first room of our adventure, the guy instructs us to get into a small cage in the corner of the room.

“The other two have to figure out how to get you out. It’s the first part of the puzzle.”

“Is this a joke?” I ask, and he shakes his head.

“Let’s just get in, Amelia. The faster we get in, the faster we get out,” Henry says as he heads to the cage.

“He’s right, you know.” The worker smirks at me as I roll my eyes and watch him lock us both in the cage.

As he leaves and shuts the door, I rip the sack off my head and fix my hair, Henry doing the same.

“Where do you think we should start?” I ask, breaking the silence.

“I think we should wait for Ella and Oliver, since they’re not trapped in here and can actually figure out the puzzle.”

Well, there goes working together.

As soon as they get inside, they both start laughing.

“I could make so many jokes about this, but I’ll refrain,” Ella says.

Oliver comes up to the edge of the cage. “How does it feel, Amelia?”

“I’m sure you would know, Oliver. I don’t think you need me to describe it for you, not with all the experience you have being behind bars.”

“You know what, Amelia—”

“What, Oliver? You are the living embodiment of the color beige. What could you possibly—”

Ella cuts our bickering off. “Look, we all know why Grant put the teams like this, so if you three could shut the hell up and be civil for five minutes, maybe we’ll win this thing and beat Leo’s team.”

I love how competitive Ella is, but an escape room in the middle of nowhere in Virginia is not where I want to sort my shit out with Oliver, and especially not Henry.

“I can be civil if they can,” Henry says as he opens and shuts the small locker in the corner of the room.

“I’ll be nice,” I say, looking at Oliver to see what sort of remark he has for me.

“Let’s just get the fuck out of here, okay?”

“Glad we’re all on the same page,” Ella says as she picks up a small piece of paper. “Now, let’s figure out how to get you two out of there.”

“Thank God,” Henry says under his breath, and I roll my eyes as I start to look for clues.

This is going to be the longest hour of my life .

“Look at how cute this picture is, you guys!” Paige waves the photo around as if we all weren't in it just a few minutes ago. Paige’s team won, and the worst part is, they only beat us by a few minutes.

We had around ten minutes left to escape when we finally got out, and we only used one clue.

Turns out, Oliver forgot to grab one of the vials we needed from the second room.

I thought his literal job would have made him great at these, but I guess not.

And yes, the second room. This is probably my last time doing an escape room. I thought I was going to get murdered.

“I’m gonna frame this!” she says as we head back to the car.

“You tried your best, darling, but we were just better than you guys this time,” Leo gloats to Ella, and she glares daggers at him.

“Grant, you are never allowed to assign teams ever again.” She looks over at me. “No offense. We did get out of there before the time was up, so it wasn't a total loss.”

“None taken, Ella. I actually agree with you,” I say as I joke with Grant. “I know what you’re up to.”

He feigns surprise while putting his hand on his chest. “It was a randomized generator, you guys! Blame the generator. I’m simply the messenger.”

Ella and I look at one another, shake our heads, and get into the car. The girls and the guys drove separately, but we’re all headed back to the hotel to recuperate before we have dinner together tonight.

Hads starts back for the hotel, and just when I think this is going to be another awkward car ride, Ella speaks up.

“Paige, here’s your twenty bucks.”

“Thank you! I told you they wouldn’t claw each other’s eyes out.” She smiles at me from the front seat. “Sorry, Ames.”

It all clicks in my head. “Did you guys bet on Henry and I trying to kill each other or something?”

“Ella thought you guys were going to ruin your chances of actually getting out of the room, since you two were on the same team,” she says quietly. “But I knew you would be fine.”

I can’t help the laughter that comes out, and as it really hits me, I can’t stop it. So, I sit in the back seat of the car and laugh my ass off, the rest of the girls eventually joining me. Now, the entire car is filled with laughter as the music plays softly through the speakers.

It feels like the four of us are back in college, making bets on if Oliver will say more than three sentences. Right here in this car, years after we graduated from that small classroom where we held book club, I’ve found a small sliver of home I once felt.

“I’ve really missed you guys,” I say as I wipe the tears of laughter from my face. “Truly. I’ve missed feeling like this.”

“Like what?” Hads asks me.

“Whole again. So, thanks for not turning me away when you saw me again. You guys could have been as cruel as I was and left me standing outside with my bags in hand, but you didn't. I’ll never forget that. I know I didn't deserve a second chance, but you guys gave me one anyway.” They gave me a chance, let me back in, and I hope I’m almost on the way to proving I’m not going to leave again.

I’m so many things, but I’m not stupid enough to leave these girls behind again. Never again will I leave this safe, comfortable home I’ve found with these three girls.

It feels right to be known and loved by them.

I feel more like myself when I’m with them.

I should have never tried to hide from them how I hide from myself most days.

But I’m trying to fix that. I’m trying to change to be a person they deserve as a friend, because the old version of myself was not one who deserved these girls, yet they loved me anyway.

Paige reaches for my hand from her seat in the front and looks me in the eyes, fresh tears brimming. “We’re glad you’re back. Book club just isn't the same without you, and you’ve made us a whole group again.”

“There’s no book club without you,” Ella agrees. “And even though I was skeptical at first, you’ve continued to prove me wrong. I’m glad you’re here for this big moment, but I hope that even for all the little ones, you’ll still show up for us.”

My voice is thick with emotion, but I somehow manage to get the words out. “You bet your ass I’ll be here for all of them.”

“Okay, I love you guys, but I am tired of crying so much on this trip, so I’m going to turn this song up, and we’re all going to sing it, okay?” Hads says as she turns the volume dial .

The entire car ride back to the hotel is filled with off-key singing, upbeat songs, and laughter. I know no matter what ends up happening with Henry, I’ll still have these girls.

Because even if I can’t find romantic love at any point in my life, I’ll have these girls to remind me I am capable of being loved. I do deserve it, even though I’ve made some mistakes.

At the end of the day, we’re just four girls who went to college in a small town called Grand Mountain, and no matter where we end up, that will always be true. That was where we started, and I hope our ending will be just as magical as the beginning.