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Then — Senior Year

First Time by Hozier

Waking up next to my boyfriend on a sunny Sunday morning and hearing the birds chirp outside is my favorite feeling in the world.

Well, second to his arms around me, his head nestled in the crook of my neck like it is now.

I never thought I’d wake up feeling as much happiness as I have the past few weeks. Henry and I have been staying over at one another’s apartments while we’re back on campus, and I never knew waking up next to someone could be so therapeutic.

My sleep schedule has always been chaotic, almost non-existent, but thanks to Henry and the routine we have going, I’ve been getting more sleep than I have in pretty much my entire life.

Most nights, Henry and I eat dinner together while we play music in the background, and then he either writes while I sit beside him on the couch reading, our legs intertwined, or we study together.

It’s only been a month, and this semester seems to be flying by faster than we expected.

I feel like I just got him, and soon enough, graduation is going to be around the corner. We’re going to have to decide what our lives are going to look like outside of this place surrounded by our friends.

“Mills, your heart is beating so fast right now,” he says as he stirs awake, his hand coming to my face as he adjusts how he’s sitting. “What has you all up in arms so early in the morning?”

“Nothing now that you’re awake,” I say. “Everything is fine, Hen.”

He cranes his neck up at me, not saying a word as he waits for me to explain.

“Graduation,” is all I need to say; we’ve had this conversation before.

“I thought I told you not to worry about that right now,” he reminds me. “We’ll figure it out when the time comes. Let's just enjoy this time together while we have it.”

“I know, I know,” I say as I sit up.

“Well, if you know, then why do you keep worrying about it?”

I roll my eyes. I can’t help it.

“Exactly. You know I’m right, and now you’re going full silent treatment because you loathe when I’m right.”

“I do not.” I totally do . Another head tilt, and I break underneath his stare. “Fine, but I get to pick the playlist this morning while we make breakfast.”

“Anything you want, Mills,” he says as he presses a kiss to my forehead. “As long as you’re here with me, that’s all I need. You know that. ”

I can’t help my smile. I still don’t understand how all this adorable relationship shit doesn't make me nauseous like it used to when I watched my friends fall in love.

For some reason, when it’s him complimenting me or saying any of the other thousand adorable things he’s always doing, my body just gets…warm. It’s the weirdest thing.

And I don’t hate it. Where Henry is concerned, everything he does is perfect. He gets my humor like nobody else. He doesn't mind my stupid quips. He loves me .

“On second thought,” I say as he starts to get up, “maybe we should just stay in bed all morning and forget about the outside world.”

He laughs, the sound filtering through my ears as if I just turned on my favorite song.

“That’s the same thing you said last night when I wanted to study.”

I shrug. “Well, what we ended up doing was better, unless you don’t like—”

“Amelia Ellis,” he says before pinning me to the mattress. “Get that thought out of your mind.”

“I’m just saying…” I trail off, suddenly only able to focus on the fact that he’s shirtless and our breathing matches. He presses a long, languid kiss to my lips before he pulls back and we’re both out of breath.

“I love you,” he tells me. “But let’s get some coffee in you before you threaten to stab my eyes out.”

That earns him another eye roll. “Whatever you say.”

He all but drags me to the kitchen, and just as I’m about to start the coffee maker, he grabs my waist and sets me on top of the counter.

“Put some music on while I dote on you, baby,” he smiles as he takes over.

God, I can’t believe this man is even real. I never saw him coming.

We met at a concert, of all places, and I almost didn't even go. It was an impulsive decision. Maybe Henry and I would have met otherwise, but who knows? I’m not a big believer in fate, but the stars really did align that day.

One of the bands I love was playing near Grand Mountain over the summer, and since I was by myself on campus taking summer classes, I bought a ticket and went. I didn't know they were playing until the day before, and I’m really glad I saw the post online about it.

It’s strange how different my life could look if I hadn't gone to that concert. Henry was a person I never even knew I needed, but now that I have him, I can’t imagine not knowing him. I can’t imagine being strangers. I don’t really ever want to be.

I tend to mess things up—relationships and life in general. I’m not a person most people would call organized, but I haven't fucked this up yet. Henry seems to still love being around me, so I’m clearly doing something right .

“Oh, I love this song,” he says as he starts to whistle along with it. “I swear, your playlists are always perfect, Mills.”

“That is the highest compliment you could give someone like me, Hen,” I say. I hop off the counter and wrap my arms around him as he flips one of the pancakes he made.

“And I mean it,” he says as he sets the spatula down, spinning to face me. “Can you pour me some coffee?”

“Of course,” I say, knowing just how he likes it—some cream and sugar.

I take a sip out of my own mug, taking a deep breath as I peruse Henry’s shelves in his living area.

I swear, I could stare at his books forever.

They’re organized in his very own way, and most nights, I’m pulling something down to read or skim while he writes.

My mornings never used to be like this, especially when I was a kid. My family and I were never that close, and as I grew up, having meals together became scattered because either Steven had some sort of sporting event, or my parents were busy working—even on the weekends .

I’m not blaming them, but as I’ve grown up, I’ve realized how much I appreciate slow mornings and really taking my time to wake up.

With my weird sleep schedule, mornings have always been difficult, and I appreciate how Henry doesn't mind having these slow starts with me. He’s more of a get up and go kind of person, but ever since I told him how I like my mornings to look, he’s been making Sunday’s our go-to day for slowly rising with the sun and taking our time getting up.

“Pancakes are ready,” he tells me as he sets the pancakes on the table, pulling my chair out for me.

The two of us eat, the music filtering through his apartment and filling the spaces between our stares and smirks. Henry keeps glancing at the necklace he bought me hanging from my neck.

“You’re staring again,” I tell him as I take another bite.

“You’re telling me I can’t be in awe at my beautiful girlfriend whenever I want?” Henry jokes. “Then what are we even doing here?”

“Oh, I can leave if you want,” I joke as I start to stand and head for the door. Just before I’m about to reach for the handle, he grabs me, carrying me over his shoulder and throwing me gently onto his couch.

“Amelia.”

“Henry?” I question, noting the look on his face.

“You know if you run, I’ll chase you.” He smirks down at me. “That was a valiant effort, but it looks like you’re stuck with me.”

I sigh, not saying a word as he continues to stare at me, his smirk now a full smile.

I cross my arms, pretending to be annoyed but secretly loving how he chases after me.

It’s always been known I’m a runner from most things—feelings, relationships, and all that jazz—but Henry has never been afraid of that part of me.

He is always the one to remind me I could never run from him—not fully, at least.

I’m stubborn and set in my ways, but he’s never tried to change who I am. He accepts me, flaws and all, and even plays into my stupid jokes.

“You make me really happy, you know,” I beam up at him .

That earns me a head tilt. “What are you saying that for?” he asks as he puts a hand against my forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

I smack his hand away with a laugh. “I just wanted you to know that, despite all my stupid jokes, I really do love you, Hen. I love these mornings we spend together, and I love stealing books off your shelves at night. I love that you talk my ear off about all the stories you want to write. I love you . Forgive me if I don’t say enough how happy I am to be with you. ”

I slide up to sit on the couch as he throws his arms around me, flipping me around so I’m in his lap.

He doesn't say a word; rather, he tucks a brown curl behind my ear, his hand coming to my neck before he presses a kiss to my mouth. His other hand grips my hip as he tries to pull me closer.

“We’re not even done with breakfast, Hen,” I say in between kisses.

“Let me enjoy kissing you while I have you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Your walls are down, and I’m going to take advantage of this time. If you want to say a bunch of other really kind things, then—”

“Shut up.” I push on his chest.

“Ah, there’s my girl.”

For the rest of the morning, Henry and I enjoy one another's company before we host everybody at his apartment for game night. It’s a fairly normal day, but it reminds me of what’s really important in life.