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ChapterFifty

J ack reached out to touch Sebastian as he shivered.

He knew how hard this was for him to see Lucy drunk.

Sebastian told him how when he was young, he had often seen his mother so drunk she couldn’t stand.

She’d become belligerent, yelling and screaming abuse.

This had to bring those terrible memories back.

Sebastian gazed at Lucy. “It hurts. It hurts a lot, but we both know this is different. Guess it was kind of funny at first. I can see that now. Anyway, she admitted she was trying to block out her pain. That fucking daughter!”

Jack heard the outrage in Sebastian’s voice, the same rage he felt whenever he thought of Allison.

“At least she came to her senses. At least she rang us.”

“I guess so, but I don’t have to like her. Six fucking weeks of heartache hell because of her!” Sebastian put another piece of ice cube in Lucy’s mouth. “When I think of what might have happened if she hadn’t turned up today, it scares the shit out of me.”

Lucy sighed and wriggled down the bed, her eyes still closed. She’d finally stopped crying. Then, before they knew it, she fell asleep.

Jack rolled her onto her side, just in case she vomited again, although he thought she’d be okay.

“Thank goodness. At least she can sleep it off.”

“Hope she’d got some paracetamol in the house. She’s going to need it!”

“I doubt it. I looked in the fridge. It’s empty except for a bottle of out-of-date milk.” Sebastian’s voice sounded so forlorn. “I don’t think our girl has been looking after herself, Jack.”

“She’s had no one, Seb. At least you and I could lean on each other.

Lucy’s had to bear her pain alone. She wouldn’t share it with anyone, you know her, she just bottles it and pretends she’s fine.

Anyway, who could she share it with? Certainly not Geoff.

You know he told us both Lucy kept assuring him she was fine each time he called her.

He had to promise Lucy not to fight with Allison anymore.

” Jack sighed. “Think she’s lost a lot of weight too. It feels like she has.”

“That daughter has a lot to answer for, Jack.”

“Yes, but we can only thank her that she came today, Seb.” He shivered. “I can’t stop imagining what would have happened if she hadn’t.”

Sebastian lifted his head and his gaze bored into Jack with horror. Even under his dark skin, Jack saw how pale he looked. Jack reached out again and took his hand.

Sebastian’s tears ran freely as he spoke. His voice was filled with the agony of what might have happened. The strong, dominant man was gone as his voice cracked in fear. “She’ll be okay, won’t she?”

“She will, Seb. She’s ours once more.”

“We’ve got her and we won’t let her go again.”

“We’ll never let her go, Seb. She belongs with us forever.” Sebastian lay alongside her. He kept wiping away his tears with the back of his hand as he watched Lucy sleep, his other hand in Jack’s.

Sebastian sighed, then glanced at his watch.

“Fuck!” He sat up angrily then got to his feet.

“Shit! I’ve got to go back. I arranged that meeting for two o’clock this afternoon with the two new prospective staff.

One of us has to go.” He turned and stared out the window, then moved to face Jack again.

“Why the fuck did I make it for today? Maybe I can cancel it. Think I can ring Walt and get him to do it?”

“I doubt it now, Seb. It’s too late to change it. They’d be on their way or even there. You need to vet them for your own peace of mind. You know you never trust anyone to do.”

“I know.” Sebastian sounded torn.

“Do you want me to go instead, dearest?”

“No. It’s okay.” He sighed, leaned down, and brushed a stray hair from Lucy’s face. “I can do it.” Fear crept back into his voice as he asked, “She’ll be okay?”

“She’s going to sleep for hours, Seb. Go.”

Sebastian stared at a sleeping Lucy as he took an enormous breath. “You look after our girl. The meeting should take less than half an hour. I’ll get back as soon as I can.”

Sebastian kissed Jack. He then kissed Lucy’s forehead and walked to the door.

“Don’t drive fast, Seb!”

“I won’t.”

“Can you grab some milk? We’re gonna need plenty of coffee later.”

“Will do, hon.”

Jack settled back against the pillows. The past weeks had been hell.

He and Sebastian had tried forgetting Lucy, but it was impossible.

Too many things reminded them of her—the way she’d laugh, the sexy way she’d dance with them each time they went to theme nights, the way it felt to have her between them while they slept.

Even driving past the tourist spots like the Three Sisters painfully reminded them of her.

It had surprised him how fast they had both fallen in love with her and how quickly she adapted to their lifestyle. There was no jealousy—she treated them the same. She often said she was glad she’d never have to choose between them because she loved them both.

Time passed slowly.

Jack kept checking on Lucy, but by three-thirty she seemed to have settled into a more natural sleep. Around four, he heard a car door slam. That has to be Seb back. Carefully climbing off the bed so as not to disturb Lucy, he went down the back stairs.

Sebastian was just putting milk in the fridge.

Jack walked over and put his arms around him. “She’s still asleep.”

“Good.” Sebastian’s voice sounded unsteady.

Jack wasn’t surprised at the fear he could hear.

Yes, he was always so strong. Nothing seemed to faze him.

He would get quiet when he was upset, but this had shaken him to the core.

Since they’d found Lucy drunk, it was as if he’d shrank inside of himself.

The thought that Lucy was drinking to get enough courage to commit suicide had rocked them both, but after those tears he’d shed earlier, it now appeared Sebastian was folding himself into a ball to hide away.

It was obvious exactly how much this had affected him.

Jack worried Sebastian wouldn’t talk to him about his fears.

Jack wrapped his arms around him. “Dearest, she’s going to be fine. We’re with her now and we’ll never leave her.”

Sebastian tilted his head to rest it on his lover’s shoulder, but Jack felt how stiff he held himself.

“She’s going to be okay, Seb. She really will. Let it go, let the pain go, my love.”

“I know she’ll be fine.”

His voice sounded terse. There was a quavering in it, and Jack knew he was trying hard to hold his emotions in check.

He pulled Sebastian closer and kissed the side of his face gently.

Sebastian resisted at first but then clung to him, and all at once Jack felt him shudder, felt tears fall onto his hand.

He held him tight as Sebastian sobbed wildly.

“It’s okay, dearest. We’re back with her.”

After a minute or two of crying, he whispered, “I know.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes. “It just ... it shook me.”

“Me, too. I hate to think what she’s been going through all alone.”

Sebastian shuddered so Jack kissed his head then pushed him onto one of the wooden kitchen chairs.

Sebastian’s voice held such agony as he said, “It scares me when I think of what she may have done.”

“Come on. I’ll make you a coffee.” He set about using the machine Lucy had bought a few months back. In no time, he had an espresso for himself and a short black for Sebastian.

Opening the pantry door, he whistled. “Shit, there’s hardly anything in here!”

“I know. It’s bloody empty.”

Sadness threatened to overwhelm Jack. “Our poor darling Lucy. Let’s go sit in the conservatory. I need to hold you close.”

Jack checked Lucy was still fast asleep then the two men carried their coffee inside and settled on one of the couches after turning the kitchen light on in case Lucy woke.

Jack put his arm around Sebastian and let him lean against him.

They sat drinking their coffee, both gaining comfort from the other.

Sebastian sighed then said, “Geoff rang me on the way to the club. Allison’s apparently in a state.

All he could say was he was thankful she’d come here today.

I told her we’d gotten Lou into bed and she was asleep.

He kept apologizing, but as I’ve told him plenty of times over the past weeks, none of this was his making. ”

“Wonder what made Allison change her mind?”

“Maybe seeing Lucy lately. Like you said, she’s lost weight. She’s got dark rings under her eyes, and her hair’s straggly. It’s obvious she hasn’t looked after herself.”

Jack agreed. “I’d say you’re right.”

Neither spoke after that. Too much had happened, too many emotions had been roused.

Jack had an inner numbness, as if his mind simply shut down now that the initial drama was over.

His relief mixed with his fear and anger—anger at Allison, yet relief she’d found her mother.

At some point, Jack rested his head on Sebastian’s shoulder and fell asleep.

Some time later, Sebastian shook him awake.

“I think I heard the toilet flush. We both fell asleep. It’s almost one-thirty.”

Jack became immediately alert as they heard someone coming down the back stairs and both got to their feet.

They watched as Lucy walked very gingerly down the stairs, one hand on the railing and the other on her forehead. She was still dressed in just her t-shirt and panties. “Oh, my head,” she groaned softly as she came down the stairs carefully.

She didn’t see the men standing at the foot of the stairs.

Sebastian grinned at Jack.

In an instant, their sadness flew out the door as they both watched the woman they loved trying to manage the stairs and not hurt her obviously pounding head.

She reached the bottom and lifted her head.

She screamed—loudly.

“Lucy.” Sebastian laughed and grabbed her as she almost fell over.

She stared from him to Jack and back again in wonder. “How?”

“You don’t remember?”

She rubbed her forehead again. “It’s all so blurry. I thought I’d dreamt you. What are you doing here?”

“Allison rang us.”

“Allison?” She looked puzzled. Then it was as if someone had switched on a light. “Oh shit! Allison. I remember her being here. I ... I told her to fuck off, I think.”

Sebastian roared with laughter, his whole frame shaking. It seemed like he was shedding his pain with his laughter.

Jack grinned at them both.

“Still doesn’t explain what you’re both doing here.”

“We’re here to look after you, Lou. We’re never going to leave you again.”

Lucy started crying. “She’ll take my grandkids.”

“No, she won’t. We won’t let her. Anyway, she’s apologized, said she was wrong.”

“My daughter apologized?” she asked in total amazement.

“Yep. Left a message on our machine too, so we have it forever.”

Jack took her hand and led her to the kitchen and over to a chair, while Sebastian rummaged in the pantry. “How do you feel?”

“Don’t ask. There are ten koalas in tap shoes River-dancing in my head.” She lowered her head to her hands again. “I can’t believe I was drinking! Oh god, I feel so bad.”

“Here, take these.”

Sebastian held out a couple of paracetamols and a glass of water.

Lucy took them. She took a sip of the water and tried giving it back.

“No, you have to drink it all. You need to replace the fluids in your body.”

Lucy went to take another sip, but then she banged the glass down suddenly, spilling water over the table. “Oh God, no! Then if none of it was a dream... Oh no! I didn’t?”

“Didn’t what?” Sebastian asked, puzzled.

“You were here. It was real. Oh no! I had my head down the toilet.” She looked up at Jack, who was trying to look serious. “Ooh, I peed. You... I...” She clamped her hands over her mouth in horror.

That was enough to send Sebastian into spasms of laughter again.

Jack took her hand and seriously said, “Yes, my darling, you peed.”

“I’m so embarrassed. What else did I do?” She waved both hands back and forth. “No, wait, don’t tell me. I don’t think I want to know.”

Sebastian spoke sternly. “No more talk about killing yourself. Do you understand?”

Meekly, Lucy nodded.

Looking serious, Sebastian continued. “Lou, do you want to talk things through with someone? Talk about what happened? We could go to a counselor.”

She shook her head. “I think I’m okay. It was just so overwhelming and I felt so depressed.

” Lucy ran a hand across her mouth, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

She breathed deeply. “Lately, I’d been living in a black hole.

It was as if I could block the pain as long as I stayed in there.

But I was...” A few stray tears trickled down her cheeks and she shrugged.

“But now if you and Jack are truly with me, if we can really be together again, then everything is wonderful. Just seeing you both is...” She gave them a watery smile.

Jack squeezed her hand as Sebastian planted a kiss on her forehead. “Well, if you change your mind, we can all go and talk to someone.”

“No, not now, not now we’re together again. I don’t need anyone but you both.” She looked from one man to the other, searching their faces. “It’s really over, isn’t it? She really meant it?”

“It’s over.”

With that, Lucy burst into wracking sobs.

Both men tried comforting her as all the pain and heartache she’d held inside her burst free. When they couldn’t stop her, Sebastian suggested Jack carry her back to bed and the three of them lie together.

Sebastian filled the glass with water again, taking it with them.

They settled her in the middle of the bed, removed their shoes and jeans, then climbed in alongside her. Sebastian pulled her to him, and Jack spooned himself along her back, his arm across her and touching Sebastian—the way they always slept when together.

They let Lucy cry as they held her. Sebastian stared over Lucy’s body to Jack. The look he gave him filled Jack with such love, and he knew they shared the same thought—at last they were back where they all belonged.