Page 51

A fter Geoffrey’s birthday , and whether Geoffrey was on day or night shift, Lucy’s two men would join her at Allison’s for dinner.

During the winter and cooler months, dinner was always held there so the children wouldn’t have to be out in the cold.

In the summer and warmer months, dinner was invariably held at Lucy’s where the children could run around and look after the chickens.

It was always great, especially now that Lucy could cook and it meant not always having a barbeque.

Geoffrey had quietly told Lucy the week after his birthday party that he liked both Sebastian and Jack.

He told her he had met them both through the Outreach program and had immediately been impressed with Sebastian’s knowledge and dedication.

He had found himself liking both men. Still, he admitted it was a little awkward at first knowing his mother-in-law was in a ménage with them, but he told Lucy that if she was happy and if they treated her well, then why should it bother anyone.

Overcome with love for him, Lucy knew her eyes filled with tears as she thanked him.

Geoffrey gave her a hug and told her Allison was a different matter. “I don’t know that she’ll ever really accept it.”

“I understand, Geoff. As long as she’s polite to them both that’s all I want.”

“I’ll make sure she is. I’m happy to see you looking so alive and enjoying life.”

The three children were greatly taken with their new ‘uncles’, and the two elder spent time arguing over who was going to sit on whose knee or play games with whom.

Allison was always polite and tried to act naturally around them, but it became obvious that, although she now liked both men and treated them respectfully, she just couldn’t come to terms with the fact her mother was living openly in a ménage relationship.

Lucy understood her daughter’s uneasiness, but she figured as long as no one was being coerced and everyone in the relationship was happy, then it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business how she lived her life.

It didn’t make matters any better that Geoffrey and Lucy’s men got along famously.

They had developed a firm friendship. In fact, a few times after the Outreach meetings Geoffrey had dined with them.

Geoffrey and the men had gone to watch a couple of football games together as well, enflaming Allison even more.

Jack was especially happy to be able to spend time with Lucy’s grandchildren. His son had finally announced that he and Jennifer were expecting, and there would be a baby arriving later in the new year.

Jennifer and Andy had moved down to Western Sydney recently. Andy had accepted the managerial position, and they had bought a house at Emu Heights, on the outskirts of Penrith.

Lucy was pleased to see their relationship grow warmer. They had begun visiting often and were treating Sebastian, Jack, and her, as partners without any prejudice.

Andy and Jennifer were great kids, and Lucy really liked them both. At times, they’d come to the house together with Matt and Lucy’s family. The combined families all seemed to get along, and Jennifer told her she loved being able to play with Lucy’s grandchildren.

Geoffrey had taken great delight in teasing Jack about the impending birth and told him he could mind Davie and the twins anytime he liked to get in practice.

One Sunday, the combined extended family were visiting. Lucy was suddenly filled with longing for her mother. She missed her so much.

The men were playing with the children on the grass.

Lucy remembered her mother playing with Allison as a baby, the three of them rolling about on the grass and laughing. Lucy had always been close to her mother, and now she missed their friendship and the love between them.

She missed not being able to ring her mother to chat about everything and nothing. Sharing laughs and tears with her. Although she and Allison were close, they weren’t as close as Lucy and her mother had been.

She had the feeling her mother would have accepted her ménage relationship. Maybe hesitantly at first, but as long as Lucy was happy, then her mother would have welcomed the two men with open arms.

Those last years of her mother had been devastating.

Watching her lose everything that made her the wonderful mother she was.

Being unable to talk, unable to walk, or even listen properly to Lucy as she read to her was awful.

The strain of watching her quality of life go flying out the window and knowing there was nothing Lucy could do to help her was gut-wrenching.

Getting to her feet, she went inside, telling the family she would make coffee. After filling the jug, she stood at the sink watching everyone through the window, the grief she’d long kept hidden welling up.

Somehow, she had to push it back down, but it wouldn’t go away.

It lingered there so close. Turning from the window, she took a dozen deep, gasping breaths.

Her eyes closed until she finally had herself under control again.

She finished making a large pot of coffee, put mugs, sugar and milk on a tray, and took everything back outside.

****

T hat evening when the visitors had left and she and her men were relaxing in the parlor, Sebastian took her hand. “What happened today?”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Yes, you do, Lou. One minute you were fine, then next you almost raced inside. I could feel you were unhappy. Tell me.”

“It was nothing. Just had a silly thought, that’s all.”

Nothing more was said for a few minutes, then Sebastian pulled her tight into his arms. He had a hand holding her head against his body. “Let it out, Lou. Don’t hold it inside any longer.”

Lucy tensed. Surely, he doesn’t know . He couldn’t possibly read her mind.

Jack took a hand, his fingers rubbing against it. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. It’s time to grieve.”

“No!”

“Yes, my darling. It’s finally time to move on, sweetheart.” Sebastian’s tender words undid her. “It really is.”

Those few words were like a sledgehammer against the wall she’d built.

She burst into heart-wracking sobs. Sobs for the mother she’d lost, the pain of watching her slowly die.

Her own life she’d been forced to postpone all those years, and then the pain of rebuilding it.

It was all there bursting out of her like cleansing rain.

The two men held her, their arms, their strength cocooning her, sharing her pain until she finally felt her tears dry up. No one spoke.

Sebastian carefully stood then lifted her. He carried her upstairs where Jack ran the bath. Tenderly stripping her off, the three of them squeezed into the tub.

Lucy was too drained to do anything except lay there cradled by them both.

They dried her off and Jack carried her into the bedroom, laying her in the middle of the bed while they climbed on either side.

Wrapped in their love, Lucy fell asleep. When she woke through the night, she felt different. The pain of loss was still there, but it didn’t hurt as much.

She’d finally let it go.