Page 18

L ucy wasn’t sure how she could, or would, explain. She bit her lip, trying to fight past her nervousness, her embarrassment. She pulled at an ear, ran a finger across her cheek.

The two men exchanged very confused glances.

Jack took her wandering hand, speaking so gently, “Lucy, obviously something happened. You have to be brave and be honest with us. We don’t want to hurt you accidentally.

” He shrugged his shoulders. “We got kind of carried away with the moment.” He glanced at Sebastian.

“It’s Seb’s fault for talking so dirty. I guess it was a shock to see us kiss. ”

Lucy’s tears built up again as she whined in protest, “But I wanted one like that!”

Sebastian’s laugh of relief echoed around the kitchen as he pulled her close, hugging her so fiercely. Then he held her at arms-length, shaking his head at her. “Oh, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. We thought...”

She tried wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

Jack looked around the vast kitchen and grabbed a tissue box. He pulled out a few and passed them to her.

She gave him a blubbery ‘thank you’, dried her eyes, and blew her nose.

“Where’s your coffee?”

She sniffed and said, “I can make them.”

“No, you go sit down. Just point me in the right direction.”

She gave another sniffle. “There are grounds in the pantry alongside the plunger.” She pointed to the door of the pantry, then to a cupboard alongside the fridge. “Mugs are there.”

Lucy allowed Sebastian to walk her into the parlor.

He pushed her down onto one of the large couches and sat down alongside her. Picking up her hand, he rubbed the back of it with his thumb. “Lucy. Look at me.”

She turned her head, peering at him through watery eyes.

“If you want to give this a chance to work, then you have to be honest with us. We almost left just then because you ran away and wouldn’t talk.

We both thought you didn’t want us. I worried we’d offended you when you saw us kiss.

You have to talk to us if this has any chance of working.

And that’s even if it’s only as friends. ”

“It’s hard.”

“Of course it’s hard, but in any sort of relationship you have to talk openly. In one like this it’s vital.”

It had been so long since she’d had to talk to another person so intimately.

In fact, even when she was married, she’d mostly held things back.

She and her ex had never talked openly about sex.

In fact, they rarely discussed anything except finances and their daughter.

So how could she say ‘I want’ and expect the other person to give unless Lucy explained why?

And explaining ‘why’ was her problem. She’d always been too ashamed, thinking she was weird or something worse.

She nodded her head, agreeing with Sebastian but at the same time frightened to tell him or Jack what she really wanted in case they might think she was strange.

Despite what she’d read, and what Sebastian had said, she still worried they would think her odd.

It was hard to ignore the years of thinking there was something wrong with her.

They sat in silence with Sebastian holding her hand until Jack came in with a milk coffee for Lucy. He handed her a mug and held out the sugar bowl.

Sebastian dropped her hand as she took the mug, thankful Jack hadn’t filled it all the way—her shaking hand would have spilt it all.

“I remembered you took milk and sugar, not sure how much.”

She smiled, thanked him, and dropped two spoonfuls into her mug, giving it a stir.

Jack took the spoon off her and left, then returned with a mug for Sebastian and one for himself.

Taking a sip, she exhaled loudly and leaned back against the couch as Jack settled on the floor near her. He had his head close to her knee.

“You don’t have to sit on the floor, Jack.”

“I know, but I like to. Ask Seb.”

She looked at Sebastian.

“He does, spreads out all his work at home on the floor.”

Once again, the conversation detoured into safer topics as the men gave her a chance to get her emotions back under control, giving her time to attempt arranging her crazy thoughts . Damn, I’d need years to do that!

Trying to sound natural, she asked, “So you work from the apartment?”

“Actually, I own a small computer company a couple of streets away from the club. We design websites, do advertising stuff for clients. I’ve only got five staff, but I like it that way.”

“Oh. I thought you worked with Sebastian?”

“I do as well. My father was in advertising in Sydney, and I worked for him while I studied computing at university. I’m a bit of a computer geek.

Branched out on my own and built up the business here.

Anyway, when I met Seb, he was telling me all his plans, and I thought I could help.

I was looking for something to invest in, and it seemed perfect.

” He gave Seb a smile. “I haven’t looked back in more ways than one. ”

“Is your father still in advertising?”

“No, he finally retired a few years ago. He and my mother now live in Brisbane. They like the heat. I like it a bit cooler. Plus, I like to ski in the winter. I grew up in Western Sydney, but I moved my business here when it started growing and I needed staff. Buildings are cheaper here than down in Sydney. Anyway, I try and get up to Queensland to see the oldies every few months or so.”

“What about you, Sebastian? Are your parents working?”

“My father worked for the government. He’s been retired six years. He was a senior clerk with the Department of Housing. My mother died thirty years ago, when I was twenty-five.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “If we’re telling you to be upfront and honest, then it’s expected we are, too. My mother died from substance abuse—alcohol. Maybe that’s why I don’t drink.”

Lucy couldn’t hide her incredulous tone. “And yet you run a place that sells alcohol?”

“I know. Weird, isn’t it?”

“A little. Although, I don’t drink either. Is that why you have so many mocktails on your drinks list?”

He saluted her with a little nod. “Anyway, Dad lives in Sydney. I see him pretty regularly.” He gave a funny, almost sarcastic laugh and looked down at his body. “You’d have to be blind not to notice... My mother was First Nation. Dad’s white.”

Lucy stared at Sebastian, looked him in the eye. “Does it matter?”

He shrugged. “Not to me, but it does to a lot of people. I’m actually very proud of my Aboriginal heritage.”

“Well, I wouldn’t really care if you were green or purple. I like you.”

“Purple?”

“Oh, you know what I mean.” Flustered, a sudden warmth rushed to her face as Lucy blushed.

He grinned at her and said he did.

Lucy took another mouthful of coffee in an attempt to cover her embarrassment.

Jack touched Sebastian on the leg. Fluttering his eyelashes madly, he said in a silly falsetto voice, drawing out the words breathlessly, “I love your color, just like hot chocolate. It’s so sexy.”

The two men laughed as if sharing some old, on-going joke.

Jack grinned at Lucy and answered her unspoken question. “There’s this strange woman who often comes in to dance with friends. She has the hots for Seb. She comes over to him all the time. She runs her hands up and down his arms and says that.”

“Oh my.” Lucy laughed.

“What about your parents, Lucy?” Jack asked. “We know your mother is gone. What about your father?”

“He was killed when I was sixteen. A work accident. He was an electrician and the company had contractors in to do some extra work. Anyway, one of them did something wrong and my father was killed. The Union fought hard to get compensation for Mum and finally got a two-million-dollar settlement. She paid off the mortgage she and Dad had, did the plumbing work, replaced the electrical wiring, and made a few other essential repairs to the house.”

“That must have been hard to lose your father that young.”

“It was, but...” She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “Anyway, that was a long time ago.”

Jack tapped his head against her knee, just a little gesture of comfort, but she appreciated it.

“So neither of you has ever married?”

“I did.” Jack spoke up. “Lasted not much longer than yours—five years.”

“Do you have any children?”

“A son, he’s thirty-one. Lives near my parents in Queensland, actually. He moved out when he was twenty to live with a few mates and somehow ended up north.”

Lucy wanted to ask if the men’s relations knew about their sexual preferences but didn’t know how to without seeming rude.

Jack must have been tuned into her, because he looked up and said, “My son and parents know about Seb and I. Mum and Dad are completely confused by it all, but they like Seb. My son wasn’t that impressed. I got the impression he’d prefer me to be straight or gay rather than bisexual.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he thinks I just can’t make up my mind. Personally, I think I have the best of both worlds. Lately, over the past few years, he’s come around, and now he’s fine with it.”

Sebastian laughed with Jack then spoke. “I’ve never married. Got close a couple of times when I was younger but it just never happened. My father knows I’m bisexual. He wasn’t impressed at first either, but he also came around. Now he really likes Jack, probably because they’re both ski nuts.”

They were all silent for a while.

As Lucy thought about the things they’d told her, she remembered something from the previous night. “Last night you said you’ve had both boyfriends and girlfriends before.”

“Yes, but none of them lasted.” Sebastian cocked his head, peering off into the distance, obviously thinking. He took a breath then added, “Think the longest was about four months.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“So you think you need another person in the relationship? Why? I mean, you both obviously care for each other deeply. Aren’t you worried it will affect it?”

“Of course there’s a risk, but we’ve always enjoyed having a third person. It’s just something we love and would like permanently.”

“Okay.”