Page 9

I glance out the kitchen window to check if the tent has suddenly disappeared.

Which is crazy because a tent doesn’t magically disappear and there's nothing dangerous on these mountains. It doesn’t make me less worried about her.

I miss her touch. She’s only been gone for twenty minutes and it feels like I can't spend a second more without her touching me. I just know I’d be the kind of guy to walk around without a shirt all winter, just to get her to put her hands on me.

I decide I'm being ridiculous. She's an independent woman who doesn't need me.

I need her. But she's decided to go until the end and I'll respect her wishes.

I sweep the floors before going to sleep.

When my body touches the mattress, I hear an urgent knock. I run quickly to the door.

Bethany’s here in a silky little nightgown that clings to every curve, the lace barely covering enough of her breasts.

"Are you okay?" I grab her hands and start checking her body to see where she got hurt.

"I'm okay! But it's not quiet!"

"What do you mean?"

"There are all these sounds, the trees, the crickets, the animals. You'd think sleeping outside would be quieter, but no! It feels like there are too many unknown entities that are awake. I don't like it." She stops, her eyes grow twice their size. "What if a bear kills me?"

"There are no bears here."

"It feels like there could have been bears out there. I'm too young to die!"

"You're not going to die, sunshine, you're safe out there. I wouldn't let you sleep outside if it wasn't safe."

"I know, but I don't think I can do it. Does that confirm I'm a city girl?"

"Yes, but I don't mind. Get in here." She leans into my chest and I sigh in relief, feeling relaxed for the first time since she left.

"Can I sleep with you?"

I take a moment to consider her question. "Just sleep. I'm honestly too exhausted to have sex. Or at least to reciprocate. I wouldn't say no to an orgasm, those help me sleep."

I chuckle, loving how honest this woman is.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you. As long as I can hold you all night."

I feel her nod on my chest. Good. Maybe being in contact with her skin for a long period of time will be enough to let her leave tomorrow.

***

When I woke up this morning, I was still holding her tight. My brain and body seem to agree it's very important that I do everything in my power to touch her. Getting her to come with my fingers right before she fell asleep felt powerful, as much as waking up next to her.

We got up early, so we walked around after eating the rest of her muffins for breakfast. I showed her some of my favorite places around here until it got too warm to be outside.

It has been like this lately and it makes it difficult to do anything outside during the day.

I'm making lunch while Bethany kisses my back.

She started by kissing each one of my leaves, now she's moved on to the branches.

It's making me incredibly hard, but I'm pretty sure it'd just make things harder for me if I ever got inside her.

I'd rather focus on her pleasure instead.

Someone knocks on the door. Fuck. I forgot Damon was going to drop by to get some of the DVDs I borrowed from him. And I might have promised him lunch when he helped me carry a bunch of wood over last week.

"Do you want me to open the door?"

I don't, but this is a very critical phase in the risotto and I don't want to mess it up. I want to make a perfect meal for her. Maybe I can get Damon to leave after he gets his DVDs.

"Yes please, do you mind? It must be Damon."

She leaves the kitchen, still humming the song she was listening to under her breath. Don’t show him how cute you are, I think to myself.

"Hi, I'm Bethany!" I hear from the kitchen.

"Oh, I didn't know Marcus had someone over. I'm Damon, nice to meet you. I'll come back later."

Yes!

"Oh no need! He's just cooking. I'm sure he doesn't want you to leave."

I do! I don't want him here. Why does she have to be so kind? Tell him to go away!

Damon comes by the kitchen.

"Hey man, you didn't say you'd have company."

"I didn't expect to have company."

"Uh? She seems nice."

I glare at him and scowl. "Don't you dare."

He whistles. "Sounds like someone is protective of her. Don't worry. I'm not interested. But I am interested in knowing how you two met."

"It's very easy to explain." Bethany swoops in, looking like she only heard the last part.

Good. I don't need to sound more like a caveman than I already am.

Threatening one of my best friends is not something I'm proud of.

But she is mine. Or at least as much as she wants to be mine.

And I'll take every single last crumb and I do not share.

She gets him up to speed quickly as I finish preparing our lunch. It's enough food for the three of us, but I don't want to remind him I promised him lunch.

"So you're having lunch with us?" Bethany asks. She turns to me. "You didn't tell me someone would be joining us."

"I forgot." There's no use in denying it. He's come at lunchtime. I can't send him packing even if I want to.

"We can schedule for another time."

"Nonsense! I'll set up an extra plate for you."

And she does. Because my sunshine is kind, so much kinder than I’ll ever be.

So we end up eating together. Bethany asks him what it's like to be my friend, what it's like to live in the mountains. Damon answers effortlessly. She tells him about the abuse the plants took with me, living so close to their enemies. Damon laughs.

He does this so well. I can see them together.

I can see how they fit with one another.

He's much more apt to reply to her questions than I am.

I'm awkward and never know how to continue the conversation.

That was always the problem with women. They expected me to continue but I never really knew how to.

I'd ask them follow-up questions that were too personal for a first date, so things only ever got physical.

And maybe that's what's happening with Bethany too.

She's leaving and all she'll remember is the grump on the mountains that gave her two orgasms. I, on the other hand, will remember the warmth in my heart whenever I was around her.

"You live alone too Damon? Are you not interested in settling down?"

"Not really. I don't think I’ve ever fallen in love and I don't think I ever will. It doesn't seem like I'm built like that. So I'm perfectly fine living by myself."

"Maybe you'll find someone who'll change your mind," she says.

"I doubt it."

When Damon leaves, I'm already wound up. Every single interaction they had just confirmed to me how deeply wrong I am for her.

"So, since it's still so hot out, maybe we can move on to a more difficult game. What do you think?"

"Sure," I say, but my heart’s not in it.

She gets all the cards out and does a wonderful job at explaining the new game. I bet she's a great teacher. I can tell by how good she is at simplifying complex game dynamics.

As we play, she talks a bit about life in the city and some of her favorite things about being a teacher.

When we finish the second game, she drops the cards and I sense her gaze on my face. I'm actually looking at her for the first time in a couple of hours. She seems lost. Hurt.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

All my attempts at hiding my insecurities have been fruitless.

How can I say I'm so jealous it hurts? I'm an adult, I should be more in control of my feelings. But no. I've never had to deal with such powerful feelings before and I'm deeply unprepared for it.