Page 5

“Trust me, I got this!” I say as I try to understand how to set up a tent.

It seems so easy in the movies. And the heat is making the structure pieces incredibly slippery and adding to my impatience.

He suggested I’d set up camp on the other side of the hill, it’s very close to the lake but close enough to his place that it doesn’t feel that scary. At least in the light of day.

After Marcus agreed with our terms, I asked him if he’d be okay driving me to get some clothes.

He didn’t look too happy with my proposal, grumbling something about changing the terms of our arrangement, but he did drive me.

It would’ve been nice to have a response to my comments throughout the trip other than nods and grunts, though.

We just need to get to know each other, he likes his privacy so I’m okay with being the over-sharer for now.

What I’m not okay with is not being able to set up the tent.

“Are you sure?” Marcus looks at me with his arms crossed, not convinced by my performance. It’s been thirty minutes and I’m no closer to setting this up than when I first started.

“Okay, I need help.”

I take a step back as I see him set up the tent. It’s easy when I’m looking at him, just like in the movies, it’s effortless. It makes me envious.

“This is what you were doing wrong, see?” I crouch down to see what he’s saying, the way the pieces fit make way more sense than what I was trying to shove them into.

Eager to try, I grab the piece, brushing the back of my hand against his.

He flinches immediately, looking disgusted by the touch.

I, on the other hand, still feel a ghost touch, like he burned me somehow.

I want to touch him again just to see what it’d feel like, but I know I’m being too much. Like I always am. It works great with kids–they love the way I’m teaching them Math but making it fun at the same time. The adults? Not so much.

I’m too much, the person who’s always running around doing a million things and over sharing every single thought.

I’ve come to accept that part of me, but it still hurts from time to time.

And now with Marcus I guess I feel safe enough to feel a bit hurt.

Which is ridiculous, but we can’t always feel what we want to feel, can we?

I stand up, helping him but making sure I’m far enough to not repeat the touch. Mostly holding things, but at least doing something.

“If you can’t even set up the tent by yourself, doesn’t that mean you’ve already lost?”

His lips still form a thin line, but his tone sounds a bit more playful. I grin.

“I don’t think so. You offered to help me, so that’s on you. I’d get it done, eventually.”

I wouldn’t.

“Well, I will not help you anymore.”

Something tells me that isn’t true. Behind his abrupt words, there’s a sweetheart in this man.

I open my bag full of games. Board games are my usual weapon to make conversation with people. People feel more relaxed when there’s a game around, and I’m hoping Marcus is the same.

“Are you going to play these by yourself?”

“No. I thought it’d be fun to play together.”

“I’m not playing board games with you.”

I bite on my lip. “Why not?”

“I don’t want to make it easy for you to win this bet.”

“Just so you know, I’m very competitive. So you’d have to win at the games to make my mood sour.”

“I’d love to see that, it’s hard to imagine.” There’s a glint in his eyes now. He likes to challenge me. It was the same with the bet.

I grab my enormous beach towel, the one that can fit four people in, and set it up next to the tent.

“You think I have nothing better to do?”

“If you did, you wouldn’t be here, would you?”

He sighs, knowing full well he’s been defeated. My mouth can’t help but curve up at the sight of his resignation.

I set up the easiest game I own, hoping he’ll enjoy it.

It’s still so warm this afternoon that when I finish setting up the game, the towel is already glued to my thighs.

I shift slightly just to position myself better and when I finish, Marcus is looking toward my legs.

He looks a bit disgusted. A blush creeps up on me, hating the fact I brought a short, impractical dress.

To be fair, I didn’t expect I’d be camping when I started my morning.

I don’t need him to find me attractive. All I want is to get access to the lake.

Finding him attractive is normal. He is attractive.

He doesn’t have that conventional attractiveness though, it’s more of the magnetic variety.

If I saw his picture, maybe he’d look like a normal guy but around him, I’m electric.

I want to touch him, I want to check for myself if those muscles seem as taut as they look, I want to trace each leaf tattooed on his back and chest. But yeah, by the looks of it, it’s not happening.

That’s okay, I didn’t come to Pepys Island to find myself a partner.

I came here to teach and make a difference for these kids.

Kids are society’s future after all and they deserve that I put in the effort.

I explain the rules, interrupting myself over and over again, swatting the air instead of the mosquitos that linger around me. So many bugs. There are also insects on the towel now. They’re tiny, but still. So many . At least the shadow of the trees surrounding us doesn’t let me get sunburnt.

Marcus gets up suddenly, right before we start playing and my heart sinks a little. Okay. So he really doesn’t want to play with me. Why did he let me explain the rules of the game?

He returns with something in his hand and tosses it to me.

“Put on this bug spray, it’ll help with the mosquitos.”

I try my best to catch it. I look at it in my hands. “Thank you. You didn’t have to.”

“You must have sweet blood, the mosquitoes love you.”

“They always have. But is that a thing? The sweet blood thing?”

“I have no idea. But they rarely bite me. So perhaps. My grandpa used to say that I was lucky I didn’t have sweet blood like him. He always had quite a few mosquito bites on him during the summer.”

“That’s cute. Were you two close?”

“Yeah. I spent most of my summers here with him. It was fun. When he passed, I decided to keep his place and live here. This,” he circles with his index finger, pointing at the mountains, “is my home.”

“That sounds fun.”

“It was.” And that’s when he shows me his smile, it makes my stomach flop on itself.

Him looking at the mountains with so much love, so much nostalgia.

He’s just awkward, that’s all. It’s clear he’s used to–and enjoys–being alone.

I don’t think a lot of people get to see that side of him.

I’m glad I did. Maybe we could be friends.

He seems to remember he’s with someone else, not just with his memories and quickly goes back to his usual stance. I laugh like crazy but he just mutters a quiet ‘what’ before signaling me to get started on our game.

We’ve been playing for a bit when I lose, again. This time I decide to say something. I warned him I didn’t like losing.

“You’re cheating!”

“How?”

“I don’t know! But I can’t believe you won three times in a row!” I lean in toward him conspiratorially. “Are you secretly a big board game fan?”

He smiles again, it’s a small upward curve on the right side of his mouth but it’s a smile. I’ve been counting the times I’ve seen him smile since I’ve met him. Three so far.

“No. But some of us that live around here get together for dinner once a month and, occasionally, someone brings a game.”

“So you do socialize.” I wiggle my eyebrows.

“Just this dinner. It’s the one time I’m with other people outside of doing errands. I prefer to be alone.”

“Is it annoying for you, having me here? I can be by myself until the end of the weekend.”

“No.” There’s a harshness that wasn’t there before in his tone.

I get back slightly.

“Sorry. I… I don’t know how to say this properly. Without sounding weird.”

“Just tell me.”

“I’d like to spend time with you.”

My chest expands, butterflies flutter all over my body, with the way he looks at me, it’s honest, just like his words.

I know there’s not a drop of lie in them.

My cheeks betray me, feeling hot, too hot to hide them.

I’m ridiculous, feeling this connected with a man I don’t even know.

But his sincere words are making me catch feelings for a man I know will never want a woman like me.

He’s quiet and I’m the opposite of that.

I’d be the concert in his backyard every single day. And I don’t want to stop singing.

I utter a very rushed ‘I like to spend time with you too’ and stand up. “Can we go for a swim in the lake?”