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“I bet you can’t survive a weekend camping,” I challenge her.

She had to come again. She could have left yesterday and never come back, but no. She’s here again.

Bringing me chocolate chip muffins so delicious looking I couldn’t resist. Almost as delicious looking as her.

I shooed her away again, but she was not backing down.

So a challenge felt like a good idea. For a split second.

This is a very bad idea. I knew she was trouble the moment I laid eyes on her.

I don’t get involved. Every summer, people from the school come here to ask me if they can use the lake.

I’ve since stopped giving them reasons not to, as they usually don’t listen.

They just want and want without listening to what I’ve got to say.

Usually it works. But not with her. So as soon as the thought of a challenge came up, I let it out. And now I’m thinking of the consequences of my words. Because I know she won’t back down. She’s as stubborn as they come.

And what I’m most afraid of is what time with her will do to me. She’s beautiful and beautiful people don’t usually go for men like me. Grumpy, rough, with no social skills. I even let my eyes roam her body like a fucking creep, hoping that'd make her run away.

I regret objectifying her that way, it felt wrong even though my mind hasn't erased any of it, I'm pretty sure it’s been seared into me instead. Just the little time I’ve spent with her has made me turn into someone else. What happens if I actually get to know her?

All the times I’ve been with a woman have been purely physical with a lot of help from my friend Damon, a man who lives close by and is just as isolated as I am.

So, marriage is not on the cards for someone like me.

Even if I yearn for a family, a woman I'd share my life with and kids to run around this cottage. Yes, the big guy who doesn’t talk to anyone actually wants a family.

I know it’s silly, trust me, I haven’t asked for this wish.

I don’t even know how I’d be able to raise a person with my lack of tact. So, in a way, it’s for the best.

But I can’t stop looking at her, now with a bit more decorum. She’s perfect. Her long dark hair is thin, framing her face, her eyes almost as dark as her hair. Her thick curves, soft and generous make it impossible not to want to touch her. That ass of hers would look so good on my hands.

“Of course I can!”

She interrupts my thoughts. Which is good because I haven’t thought this much in months, she’s clearly messing me up.

“Nevermind, it’s not a good idea.”

“What? No take backs!”

I take a deep breath. “It’s a bad idea. Go home. I don’t want to see you again.”

Lying to her is easier than I thought it’d be. That is until I see her smile falter, only to be replaced with a big fake grin. Good you prick, now she’s sad.

“I’ll camp here for a whole weekend and you’ll give access to all the kids who want to come swim at the lake.”

I want to say no but she looks so desperate, so earnest. And a thought occurs to me that I’d give her the world if I could. I don’t want to give her a reason to look this sad. I certainly don’t want to be the reason. But I also don’t want to give her access to the lake.

“I’ll consider giving them access if you do.”

“Consider? No, you have to promise me.”

“No can do.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll take it.”

Am I a shameful dirtbag? Maybe. I’m hoping she’ll understand when I tell her. But for now, keeping her close is everything I want.

And I’m not going to read too much into it. I’m just bored, that's all.