Page 10

He doesn't answer me and I think I know the answer to that question. Because it's always the same answer. I've heard it over and over again.

“I'm being too much, right?”

Marcus seems to hesitate. I shift my eyes to the place where I dropped my bag last night.

I need to go. Before my heart is wrenched from my chest, I need to guarantee I can salvage at least a few pieces.

I grab the cards so I can arrange them in their box, I'm trying to be as fast as I can.

I need to call the taxi too. So I don't spend much time waiting.

“Fuck. No, Bethany. Don’t go. What are you saying? You're not being too much. You're never too much for me. What made you think that?”

I'm trying my best to keep my tears in check. My eyes hurt with the strain but I don't want to look even more difficult to handle.

“I can see you're not happy. You're grumpier than usual and I've been here talking way too much. I should go. You don't need me breathing down your neck. There'll be no access to the lake anyway. I thought… I thought I could stay, but I don't want to be a burden.”

“What? You're not a burden.”

Marcus gets closer and I take a step back in response. If he's too close, the tears I’m holding might get out.

“Fuck fuck fuck. I hate that I'm this socially inept guy. I hate failing you.” He rubs his beard too hard, almost like he's punishing himself.

“I'm insecure. And I want you all to myself.

That's all it was. I knew Damon would never hit on you but you were so happy talking with him and he's so much better at talking with people.

He lives an isolated life and enjoys his privacy too but he's not like a stray dog who never talks with anyone.

And fuck I was just imagining you with him and you'd be so much happier. And I can't ever offer that, can I?”

I want to say something, but I know he isn't done.

“I love you Bethany.”

My eyes widen at the unwavering way he says that.

“I’m sorry. I needed to say it. You’re going to leave and, for all the time I’ve spent not saying things, now it feels so important that I do.

I will love you until my last breath. And that makes me such an incredibly insecure person because I want you so much but there’s nothing I can offer you.

You’re so amazing, there’s no way I want to drag you down in some way.

So no, you’re not a burden. In fact, you’re the opposite of it.

You make me feel light, like you’re carrying part of me with your cheerful conversation.

I love how curious you’re about everything and how opinionated you’re when you know about a subject.

And I also love that you’re stubborn. Being the grump that I am, it's the closest quality you have in common with me, so I guess I like how you’re also set in your ways when you want to be. ”

“I don’t want you to get tired of me,” I confess, starting with what hurts me the most.

“Sunshine, there’s nothing you can do for me to get tired of you. I love to see you talk–”

“Even when I’m always talking about something stupid?”

“You’re never talking about something stupid. Understanding you, it's an intricate puzzle I will always want to put together.”

“It’s just… I always feel people are eager to shut me up. Some people mention that being around me is exhausting.”

I look down at my feet, I’ve never really talked about this with anyone, it feels incredibly raw.

Marcus gets closer, grabbing my hand and then holding my chin, it’s tender and rough at the same time, the way he’s holding it. He tilts my chin so I’m looking at those dark eyes of his.

“Those people, sunshine? They didn’t deserve your friendship or your love.

If anything, being around you is intoxicating.

It’s addictive. Can't you see how wonderful you are? How full of life people become when they’re around you?

" His forehead is full of wrinkles, his eyes soft and kind.

“Tell me you believe me, tell me you’re not exhausting. "

I hesitate and then whisper, “I’m not exhausting.”

“Now say it like you mean it.”

“I’m not exhausting,” I say again and this time I believe it.

I believe his words. My words. I believe that maybe I’m not right for some people but it doesn’t mean I can’t find my tribe too.

I can. It’s just a matter of finding them, of finding the people who will allow me to be who I am. And one of those people is Marcus.

I see him smile, a smile that beats every single one I’ve seen so far.

“Tell me again.”

And I do, once, twice, ten times until he stops holding my chin and wraps his arms around my shoulders, holding me tight.

A few tears leave me, feeling more at home than I ever felt before.

I love this man, he's my safe place, I know that in my heart.

I've known ever since I met him, that certainty but my brain didn't want to believe it.

He interrupts a smile whispering in my ear.

“Don't go today, only tomorrow. I’ll drive you to the school. Let me have you for a little while longer.” There's something so desperate in his words and I understand now that he's holding me tight, as much for him as for himself.

He still thinks I'm leaving. There's no chance in hell I ever will.

"I love you too," I say, the sound muffled by his chest.

He pulls back, a pleading expression in him.

"I love you, you didn't hear me say anything else. I love you."

He wraps me in his arms. "I'm still me, I'm never going to be as smooth as Damon."

"I don't care. I love you all the same. And I want a family with you."

"What if I'm not good at being a parent?"

"You'll learn. We'll learn together. How does that sound?"

"So good. Too good to believe it. I want you to be mine so fucking much."

"I'm yours. It's weird for me too, but what I said to Damon, about someone making him change his mind is how I feel about you.

I didn't expect to fall in love here on Pepys, just a few days after I arrived.

But sometimes you just know. And I just know I want you, Marcus. I just know we're meant to be."

"I feel that too. All I want is for you to touch me. It's like I can't breathe if you don't."

"I'm fine with that. In fact, why don't I start now?"

So I kiss him but don't stay on his lips for long as mine start to wander into the deep forest that leads to his hard length.

I've been wanting to touch him but he hasn't let me.

But this time, he's not pushing me away, I'm quick to remove his jeans and finally see what he’s been hiding from me.

I feel myself get wet when I see his big, thick length.

I get on my knees and lean forward. He grabs my head.

"Sunshine, are you–"

I don't let him talk, taking him into my mouth.

He groans and then all I hear is “oh my god,” over and over again.

I revel in it, it soaks my panties, how much I'm enjoying this.

I've never enjoyed giving head much but with Marcus, everything is better.

There's a deep need within me to make him groan like that, to make him feel desperate.

He pulls my head back. "You need to stop. There's nothing I want more than to be inside you, and I'm not going to do that if you keep going with that perfect mouth of yours.

He pulls me up. "It seems like you were made for me. Were you, sunshine?"

I nod, because it's what I feel. I feel like I was made for him and he was made for me. We exchange rough kisses, full of tongue, full of pure need.

"Your pussy felt so good in my mouth. I don't know what it'll do to me when I've my cock buried inside you."

I moan and cling to his chest in response.

"Tell me you want me."

"I want you so much, Marcus. I want your cock inside me."

He lifts me up and carries me over to his bedroom, which smells so much like him that it heightens the pleasure I'm already feeling.

When he's on top of me, I'm already moaning with the thought of what will happen next.

"Tell me, do you really want this? We don't have to do anything today."

"Marcus! Does it look like I want you to stop?"

He chuckles. "No. In fact, it looks like you want to take my cock right now."

"Yes!"

"But I need to get you ready first."

"I'm ready."

But he doesn't listen and starts working his tongue over my clit. I'm glad he didn't listen because it's even better than yesterday. I don't know how, but after just one time together he’s managed to figure out exactly how to make me whimper after a couple of seconds.

He gets on his knees, grabs a condom from the nightstand and gets between my legs. The tip of his cock is right at my entrance. He looks like he wants my consent and all I want to say is to get in already, so I do.

He teases my entrance over and over again until he pushes the head inside.

I gasp, my hands holding on to the mattress.

"Is it too much sunshine? Talk to me." He sounds so worried but all I'm feeling is a deep pleasure.

"No, keep going!"

He does what he's told and starts sliding in and out of me.

"You're so fucking wet. So good. This pussy feels so good. You're so perfect, sunshine."

He slides a hand between us and rubs my clit lightly. One second I'm in control, the next I'm crying out his name, holding on to the leaves that cover his chest. He follows me, groaning and pumping in and out of me until we're both completely wrecked.

"Fuck, I don't think we're going to leave this bed anytime soon."

"Sounds good," I reply. "I love you."

"I love you too sunshine. You're just perfect. I'm so thankful you're stubborn."

My smile is quick. "I don't think you'll be thankful in a few months."

"Oh believe me, I will."