Page 67

ENDLESS LOVE

SANTINO

E verly really was a cute baby.

Santino watched Vanessa bounce her niece on her lap as twilight descended on the quiet road in Chappaqua. He’d had to park in front of a home that was already dark, far enough so she wouldn’t spot him but close enough to drink her in.

Yes, like a fucking ghoul, he was still haunting Vanessa. He knew he didn’t need to protect her anymore. That other Spallini brother and Claremore himself were no longer a problem for her. He didn’t need to watch the news to know that for a fact.

Antoinette’s husband, with the backing of his family, the Andersens, was also not a threat.

A meeting had taken place, and an understanding had been reached.

It hadn’t mattered to Andersen that Claremore’s real target was Vanessa, and his wife was merely collateral damage.

Fortunately, he’d been very interested in helping solve their mutual problem, since getting to someone of Claremore’s status had taken someone equally well- positioned.

Once Claremore and Spallini had been acquired, Santino and Dom had taken over from there.

Why had Claremore ordered the hit, after he’d been acquitted?

Because winning had only taught him he’d get away with murder again.

After that, Claremore’s grown sons were proving incapable of fending off the Andersen Conglomerate.

Their father’s empire would be ripped apart, devoured and digested by that fanged beast within the week.

Even though it was an active crime scene, Santino had managed to gain access to their house to retrieve the lockbox with Vanessa’s important documents to pass on to Bobby. Seeing the place had gutted him. If he hadn’t been there that day…he didn’t want to think about it.

He saw the carnage when he tried to sleep, and the memory of it was so much worse than anything he’d ever dreamed.

The skies of that dreamworld were now a bruised sunset.

Vermillion now painted his hands when he looked at them while awake.

The taint colored his skin when he looked at his face in the mirror.

Everybody at the station house, Patrick and his brothers, the breathless reporters who’d tried coming by to get him on camera, which he’d refused to do…

they were all calling him a hero. But was this how heroes felt on the inside?

Like something slick and shadowy had crawled up out of that dark void within him and taken over?

He flipped through his sketchbook, at all the images of himself with that axe, and burned them.

Every single one. They could be viewed as evidence of his state of mind and his intentions.

And now that he’d done what real Badinellis do, not once but three times over, not just the killing but the disposals afterward, he finally understood Patrick’s warnings.

So much for Joey Fucking Badass.

Her silence over the last few days in the hospital and her first day out had told him Vanessa saw the monster too. Clearly, she wanted nothing to do with that side of him, with any of him. Hell, she’d already been done with him before he ran into that house.

After Vanessa and Everly disappeared inside the huge old home, he left. He’d already said his goodbyes to his family, his work buddies and Dom. One more night and he’d go.

In the morning, he worked on the last few items on his to-do list. He made sure to have a greasy American breakfast, considering the food in Italy was going to be exasperatingly healthy. He was in the middle of taking the laundry out of the dryer when there was a knock on the front door.

Mindful that it could be someone unfriendly on the other side of that door, someone who was a relative or associate of certain missing dead men, Santino looked through the peephole before answering.

No goon could have caused his heart to jolt like the person who was standing there twisting her hands together and shifting from foot to foot.

No one else had the power to wound him as deeply or to cause a stupid, stupid hope to roll through him like the woman waiting on his doorstep.

But he took that hope and crushed it into bite-sized pieces.

Swallowed them down, buried them in a place where it wouldn’t cause him to do something stupid. Again . Then he opened the door.

“Hey.”

Vanessa was wearing clothes he didn’t recognize.

That made sense, since most of his favorites had been destroyed.

Anxiety and a generous helping of adoration were written on her face.

That look shocked his senses and immediately, the pleasure centers of his body revved to life after it had felt like beaten pulp for the last few days.

That insanely strong familiar pull toward her was unwelcome.

Traitorous, even. And this was the main reason why he had to get the fuck out of New York.

“Hi.” She had a purse slung over her shoulder. Clinging to the strap with both hands like she was afraid it would get snatched, she peered over his shoulder at the entryway. “Are you renovating?”

“Um…yeah.”

Santino knew it was rude not to ask if she wanted to come in.

Vanessa took the decision out of his hands by stepping closer suddenly, her face tilted up to his and her honeysuckle scent packing a punch that left him dazed.

He backed up to get away from the heat reaching out to suck him back in and she took that opportunity to bum rush the door.

Just walked right in like she owned the place, the way she owned him.

Sighing, he closed the front door and turned to see her walk into the living room. She took in the fresh plaster and paint job.

“Oh nice. I like this color,” Vanessa remarked. Still clinging to that bag like it was a lifeline instead of a fashion statement.

“Gina called it robin’s egg blue. I just thought it looked…blue.” Vanessa smiled at his comment. He didn’t. “How are you feeling? Your lungs and the bump on the head?”

“Pretty good, considering. They want me back for a checkup and if that goes well, I’m in the clear. H-how about you? Are you okay?”

She’d stammered, staring at his chest as if she’d just noticed he didn’t have a shirt on. It seemed suspiciously not like the look of someone who was disgusted by him.

“Yeah. Clean bill of health. And that’s good because it means I can fly with no problem.”

“I heard. When are you leaving?”

“Tonight.”

Vanessa swallowed hard with a short jerk of her head. “Tonight, huh?”

“Yes.” His answer was delivered in a sound that was more like a pained hiss than a word. Despite that, he managed to smile. “Parma needs firefighters like everywhere else. You know my Italian’s half-assed, but I can get by. Acqua, fuoco, vaffanculo .”

She smiled at that. Folding his arms to restrain himself from touching her, he watched her move about the room, then she went into the kitchen, then the downstairs bathroom.

Taking his silence for consent, she went up the creaky stairs to the second floor, pausing at his bedroom door, then walking in.

Santino stayed in the doorway, not trusting himself to go any further as she stood by the window on the other side of the bed, looking down at the backyard.

“It needs a lot of work.” His voice was gravelly, thickened. She was outlined in clean, clear light. Too clean for his soiled hands.

“Did you hear about Carmine Spallini’s brother Joe? About Claremore, the asshole they worked for? They’re missing.”

This abrupt switch to a new topic jarred him. Santino nodded slowly, keeping his face carefully neutral.

“I heard. Good for them, getting away with almost murder.”

The look she tossed over her shoulder at him was piercing. “I guess. Would you have any idea where they would’ve gone?”

Expelling a short breath, he raised his eyebrows. “It’s probably better for you if you didn’t know. You’re not my wife anymore so, you’d have to talk if somebody asked.”

“The police already did ask. They took my statement at the hospital. I don’t think they’ll be back again. I mean, if Claremore and Joe never turn up, I doubt anybody will miss them.”

The look on her face, of certainty, of knowing , caused a beat of shame to pulse in his chest. Quietly, he asked, “You think of me differently now, don’t you? After what you saw me do.”

Vanessa turned back to him fully, facing him with her head tilted to the side and a soft sadness creeping over her features. She nodded slowly.

“Yes. I used to be unsure where I fit into your life. I thought I wasn’t a priority.

It was mostly because of my own insecurities, but Antoinette and the Aruba thing shook my faith in you.

In us. But now I think of you as the man who’d risk his life for me.

Who would do anything to keep me safe. Anything .

The one person who would put me first, no matter what. ”

The way she said that, the way she looked at him, almost wrecked him. It was a victory to finally hear that from her, but now he was overcome by confusion. What did this mean for them? Was she holding out more false hope or simply giving him grace before the final curtain dropped on their story?

The thoughts that had been haunting him, the dark crimson visions that were now memories of real things flooded his head. “I don’t regret doing what I had to do to make sure you got out of there. I’d do it again, for you. But my job is to save lives, not take them. I don’t know what this makes me.”

The admission had been so heavy to make, but she still smiled at him, the shine in her eyes the same as it ever was.