Page 14

PANIC

SANTINO

A fast and furious “selfie” hand job in the shower after he’d forced himself to leave that elevator hadn’t been enough.

Santino had used the same hand that had been coated in Vanessa’s sticky honey, imagining it was the velvet vise of her pussy.

Every sigh, every moan that had escaped the real deal had been absolutely sweet, even if she had stopped him before he could wring more out of her.

The shower was ice cold, but it didn’t do the job.

Santino was still wired when he showed up at Nico’s house hours after “the elevator.” Wired wasn’t even the word.

The emotions surging through him were a combination of euphoria at finally touching Vanessa again, breathing in her air, her soft, sweet honeysuckle scent, and a desperation to make it happen again.

The restraint he’d imposed was pretty remarkable considering he’d been waiting for a chance to do that for three achingly long years.

How he’d managed to keep his distance before this was now a mystery.

And now that he’d come so close to paradise, he didn’t know how long he could survive without another taste.

It took a while, but he finally calmed down while playing with his nephews, Adriano and Gino. It was the last chance to spend time with his brother and Adriano before they went away for the whole summer to the vineyard in Parma.

Of course, Santino knew his sister-in-law, Daniela, was at that very moment hanging out with Vanessa.

He liked knowing Vanessa was at least in an all-female group because that meant she wasn’t with Malone.

Most likely, she would see him again. He could tell by Vanessa’s defiance that another warning wasn’t going to do any good.

Trying not to let worry take over from desire, he focused his attention on the kids. He loved being an uncle. He’d pour everything into them that he would have given to the kids he’d thought he’d have with Vanessa. Would it be possible…could that future still happen?

It would be a fucking longshot, but he knew on a primal level that if he did have a kid, she had to be its mother. If it didn’t happen with her, it wasn’t happening at all.

Gina was on the couch watching reruns of HGTV and pausing every now and then to laugh at the sight of him crawling on the floor, pretending to be an overgrown dog while the boys clung to his back.

Her hazel eyes crinkled as she watched them, thoroughly amused.

As usual, she’d declined the offer to go out with Dani and the others.

Santino looked at her. “You should’ve gone out. You need to go get wild for a change. You know I could handle both these scrounging piccolinos .” He growled at Gino, who’d slid off his back.

She sighed hard, still smiling. “What, and leave you here trying to find an excuse to watch Chip and Joanna without me here?”

Sidestepping the question of her lack of a social life, as usual.

“Come on. I don’t watch that,” he scoffed, feeling heat flood his face.

It was a lie. He fucking loved Chip and Joanna.

He wouldn’t have known about shiplap and barn doors if it weren’t for them.

“You really should go out at least once in a while.”

“You know I’ve never liked the lounge scene. I’m not hip enough for that,” she said, indicating her patchwork shirt and overalls.

“You saying the word ‘hip’ probably means you’re right about that,” Santino said, and she threw a pillow right at his head in response.

Whereas he used to love partying, his only sister had always preferred her comfy clothes and a good time on the couch. Whenever their mother sighed and complained she’d never meet a man sitting at home every night, she’d wryly respond, “Exactly.”

They hadn’t heard of anyone since she was brutally dumped by her last boyfriend years ago. Then one day, nearly four years ago she announced she was pregnant and raising the baby by herself. It had caused quite the uproar with their very traditional family.

To this day, she wouldn’t say anything about who Little Gino’s father was or what had happened between them.

She’d even kept it from him, despite how close they were.

Sometimes Santino stared at his nephew and wondered where he got his nose, the narrow shape of his eyes and that smile in his dark olive-toned face.

But those were questions to be answered another day, if ever.

“Need any help?” Gina called in the direction of the kitchen.

“Nah, I’m almost done,” they heard in response.

Nico was washing up after the dinner Gina had brought over from their parent’s restaurant, which she helped run. That shrimp alfredo with the rich, buttery noodles and the perfect amount of fresh garlic and grated parmesan had really hit the spot.

Things were cool right up until Dani came home, her eyeliner smudged and her lipstick slightly smeared off the side of her lip. She closed the front door and smiled at Gina.

“Hey, sister!” Dani tossed her crossbody bag onto the end of the couch and flung herself on her sister-in-law to give Gina a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Raised in an all-boys home, Gina had been happy when her brothers started bringing home girlfriends and then girlfriends who became wives. But she turned her face with a wince.

“Damn, sister, you smell like a dispensary. What did you do?” Gina asked with a laugh, her snub nose wrinkled.

“It wasn’t me smoking, I swear. It was a rooftop, and people were lighting up like…like…I don’t know the metaphor for that.” Dani giggled.

Nico came out of the kitchen, took one look at his wife, and whistled.

“ Amore , you are lit . And you’re home earlier than I thought.” Nico came into the living room and kissed her. She kissed him back with such fervor Santino was embarrassed looking at them, and if he had to admit it, a little fucking jealous.

“I needed to see my Adriano,” Dani said, rubbing her fingers against his scruffy jaw. “Was he being a good boy for Daddy?”

“The best,” Nico murmured against her ear. “Now it’s your turn to be a good girl for Da—"

“Please no,” Gina interjected, holding up a hand before Nico could say another word. “We just ate, Nico. What is it with you two and the oversharing?”

“Hey, where’s your house again?” he fired back with a quirked eyebrow while Dani laughed.

While Adriano slid off Santino’s back and crawled to his mom, she scooped him up and gave him lip-smacking kisses on his chubby brown face. He started crying, and they went “aww.”

“It’s so weird that he cries when I come home and not when I leave,” Dani said, swaying with Adriano’s fat cheek pressed against hers.

Yeah, definitely smashed. Nico was running his hand up and down her back, looking like he couldn’t wait to kick everybody out and get her upstairs. They were going to have fun tonight after the kid was asleep for sure.

But before she could indulge her husband or his caresses, Dani turned to look at him, blinking rapidly.

“You,” she said, pointing at Santino. “I know what you did. And now you’re in troublllllle!” Her voice rang out. It was easy to imagine her as a little girl, ready to tattle on her siblings.

“Why, what’s he done now?” Nico asked, turning to give him the stink-eye.

“Aruuuuba! And also, he told her he was going to sign the papers today. He didn’t do it.

Again .” Dani hiccupped, giving the baby back to Nico and flinging herself back on the couch with Gina.

“She was really upset when I saw her. I know, we’re not supposed to talk about her to you and vice versa, but she told me everything.

And she was so sad, she kept forcing me to drink. ”

Gina sat up straight with her mouth dropping open. “What? That was today? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Do I really need to tell you everything I do?” he asked.

“Yes. Yes, you do!” Gina responded with exasperation.

Santino was grateful Nico hadn’t followed up on what his wife had said about knowing what he’d done. Had Vanessa told her everything about the Aruba trip?

Nico looked disgusted. “Okay, this has gone on for too long. Have you apologized?”

“Apologize for what? I never cheated on her.”

“Okay, fine, but have you talked to her? Really talked to her? You need to either have an actual grown-up conversation with Vanessa about how to fix your marriage or sign those papers already.”

“Talk to her? Oh, marone , why didn’t I think of that? Nico, you’re such a genius, how do I even cross the street without you holding my little fucking hand?” Santino cried.

Nico’s lips twisted. “I hope the sarcasm is keeping you warm at night because your wife isn’t.”

Damn. Out of everything Nico ever said to him over the years about screwing up his marriage with Vanessa, that hit the hardest. He knew Nico loved him and worried about him, especially that first year after the breakup when he’d scared the family so much, they’d never left him alone.

Memories of the time crept into his head like a thief, one that had stolen his joy and left a bitter, endless craving in its place…

The trip down to Aruba with Antoinette went without incident. Wilson Li welcomed them warmly and assured Santino she’d be safe there as long as she wanted to stay. He’d left on the next morning flight after spending an agonizing night in his own room, trying to call Vanessa and getting no answer.

He left voicemails. Nothing.

He resorted to texting. He was back in New York by the following afternoon.

As he approached the house, anticipation to see her rose strong and bright. He couldn’t wait to hold her, to feel her, to be reassured that their love was strong enough to withstand anything.

His hopes fell all at once when Vanessa’s car was missing from the driveway and the garage. Maybe she was at her brother’s or taking her walk in the park.

Then…the locks wouldn’t open for his keys.

Then…he discovered the alarm code had been changed on all the doors, including the entrance from the garage.