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SIXTEEN

CUT THE TENSION WITH A KNIFE

MAGNOLIA

I clutch my stomach as I hear my phone buzz from inside my purse, the stupid thing bouncing off all the shit I have in there and amplifying the vibration by about a million.

I don’t have to look to know who it is.

My phone hasn’t stopped ringing off the hook since well before I was supposed to get up this morning.

The upside to that is that I’m sort of coasting through what should be a hangover since I haven’t actually slept but the downside is, despite sobering up real fucking fast last night, I’m nauseous as hell and keep throwing up.

Whiskey doesn’t usually do that to me.

Seeing my life flash before my eyes thanks to an unexpected twat definitely changed that.

You know what doesn’t help when you’re panicking about all the ways your life is over? Being alone.

Eve stayed out a lot later than I did, Maddox texted me to let me know he’d babysit since I got her last time, and once Isaak put me on the shuttle to go home, I was by myself. Just me and all my extremely self destructive thoughts.

Thoughts that went into overdrive the second my father made his first phone call and they’ve done nothing but spiral out of control with each that followed.

I was hoping it would be better when I got to work, that I’d feel better being close to my pack but apparently the universe is out to get me.

Isaak is reviewing applications for Dolly’s replacement with her and Donovan. It’s been months of hunting without one promising candidate and from what I understand, the last batch was a total bust so he’s back at it with them today.

Recently, as in a few days ago, we started implementing outdoor rec time for our residents. Another perk of good behavior, if you will but I’d like to punch myself in the face for approving it to start the day my father is most likely to murder me.

Korvin and Calix are outside in the yard.

I’m happy for them, so glad that they get to feel the sun on their faces and the crisp autumn breeze on their skin but O’Brien and Stevenson had them out before I even got here and knowing them, they’re all playing basketball or something else stupid and they’ll be gone until well after I’m dead.

I was hopeful Des was around, the resident log didn’t have him anywhere other than his apartment but when I went to see, I found it empty.

I looked all through the common areas, even checked the stairwell in case he was hiding for some reason that only made sense to him, but he wasn’t.

Ivan was the one who informed me that Jones came and got Des for his shot.

Desmond hates Jones.

He might even hate him more than he hates Nurse Hubbard but that guy gets under his skin in a way that has him seeing red. Which means he had to put on the straight jacket and muzzle just to get his injection because good old Quimby is afraid of my alpha.

He doesn’t have to say it for us to see it, it’s pretty damn obvious.

Still, it’s going to be a process for him to get his monthly shot and I don’t anticipate him coming back anytime soon.

Once again, I’m alone with my thoughts, and I’m freaking out.

If that little teeny bopper twat with fake tits and an IQ lower than her cup size ran to my father about what she saw last night, I’m screwed. My ship is sunk and so is Isaak’s, and I don’t even want to think about what will happen to our men once we aren’t here to run things.

My phone stops ringing and I blow out a breath. I just want a little peace before shit hits the fan. A couple moments of silence to reflect on the few short months of bliss I was granted before it’s all taken away.

I should text Isaak.

I didn’t tell him what happened last night, I didn’t want to ruin his time out since he rarely takes the opportunity to go anywhere, but I need to prepare him. He has to have a heads up or else he’ll be blindsided when he comes in here to find my corpse slumped over his desk.

Like I’ve finally snapped and lost my mind, I rush to my purse and dump it out all over the floor, searching through all my crap until I find my phone.

I ignore the thirty seven text messages from my father, swipe out of his twenty missed calls then get to our thread as quickly as possible. Then I draw a complete blank.

The jumbled mess of thoughts and fears float from my head in record time as I see the last thing Isaak sent me.

Good morning, my precious flower.

It’s such an Isaak thing to say, his twist on what Des started and all the boys have picked up. I’ve never appreciated being named after a plant more than when I hear them say things like that to me. It’s silly, but it’s ours, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

I scroll a little and see his message from last night, one he sent while tipsy and sneaking around the ward.

I love you. They love you. They told me to tell you. Rather crudely in some cases but the sentiment remains. You have four men here who love you and that should be the last thing you think about before you fall asleep.

It was.

I was anxiety riddled and freaking out, but I thought about them all night and it helped me from having a full blown panic attack that would have easily lasted six hours. I didn’t sleep but I was able to do a little daydreaming to calm myself down thanks to his text.

So, even though I should let him know the end is nigh, I smile a little and send the only thing Isaak truly needs to know.

ME: I love you.

My phone immediately starts vibrating in my hand and since I can see the screen, I know it’s not my omega responding.

No, it’s the Dean calling me and my hands start to shake the longer it rings.

My heart is pounding in my ears, my palms are tingling.

I’m suddenly sweating buckets and as one call ends and another starts, rapid fire messages start coming through.

THE DEAN: Answer your goddamn phone.

THE DEAN: Magnolia

THE DEAN: This is fucking bullshit and you know it.

THE DEAN: Answer me or so help me I will make you regret the day you decided to challenge me.

THE DEAN: You’re finished, Magnolia. Done. No more fucking around.

THE DEAN: I’m coming to the institution.

Then everything stops.

No more ringing, no more texts.

My notifications must be frozen because they aren’t showing anymore either.

My father broke my phone from miles away, and when he gets here, he’s going to break my heart. And possibly a few bones.

Oh my god, he’s coming here.

I cock my arm back and send my phone sailing through the air, the electronic crashing against the bookshelf across the room, little pieces of glass splintering as it makes contact.

The office is shrinking, and spinning. It’s closing in on me. Smothering me.

My hands move to my throat as I claw at my sweater, desperately trying to get some air into my lungs but it feels like they’re sealed.

I have to go.

I have to get out of here.

I can run away, make a new life in some obscure country, change my name and everything about me.

My heart squeezes in my chest at the thought of separating from my pack, the idea of leaving them behind one that has tears welling in my eyes.

I need them.

With an urgency I’ve never felt before, I rush toward the door and whip it open then run into the hall like my ass is on fire, and crash right into something warm and solid that smells like home.

”Maggie?” Korvin grunts as he stops me from falling. “Magnolia, sugar, what is it?”

I shake my head as my tears start to fall.

The last thing I wanted, or needed to do was cry, but I can’t help it. I feel like everything is coming to a head and I don’t know what to do about it.

”Magnolia?” Calix whispers as he starts rubbing slow circles on my back. “Tell us what’s wrong.”

Sniffling in an incredibly unattractive way, I look up at their faces, committing every detail to memory.

Please don’t let me lose my pack.

Korvin cups my cheeks then looks around the hallway, pressing a kiss to my forehead before he takes my hand and leads us back into the office.

“You have a nest in here?”

I blink a few times as Vin and Calix look around the room like they haven’t been here a thousand times before.

“Isaak said something about trying to throw one together when you had your panic attack.” Korvin sighs as he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Thought maybe you’ve used it since.”

He almost sounds… Jealous? I’m not sure if that’s the word for it, but it’s the only one I can think of right now.

All of the boys know about our nests, I’ve been hoarding their stuff in mine ever since Des and Vin left me their socks when we bonded and I’m sure Isaak has been doing the same.

We’ve explained why they’re important, which is why he’s asking about it now, but this is the first time I’ve heard that tone in my alpha’s voice during a conversation about this.

My brows furrow for a beat before they shoot up to my hairline. “Are you mad that I might have a nest here and I haven’t invited you into it?”

“No,” Vin grunts as Calix nods and says, “That’s exactly what his tone is about.”

Korvin grunts something under his breath, still holding my hand, still looking around the room, and for some reason, I’m not upset anymore.

No, I’m far from it, actually. So much so, I start to laugh.

“Stop it.”

I shake my head and cover my mouth. “Korvin Severe, you’re jealous of a room.”

He rolls his eyes but I can see the smile hiding in those stormy grays. “Am not.”

“Are to,” I say as I poke him in the pec. “You think I have a nest in here for when I get stressed out, and don’t think I’ve had you in it because what? It’s an omegas only club?” Then something else occurs to me. “Do you think Isaak and I share a nest here?”

He shrugs a shoulder as Calix comes to stand next to me. “You ever seen an alpha his size pout before?”

“Nope,” I snort as I lean into my beta. “He’s kinda cute like that, though.”