Page 41
Story: Mask and the Magnolia (Fiends and Floras Omegaverse #1)
“And that. Apologizing for your thoughts or feelings? Being sorry for who you are as a person? That’s bullshit, too.”
He’s starting to sound like Dr. Lowe.
“Damn straight,” he grunts as if he read my mind. “Because it’s true. You know what else is?”
I shake my head then decide I should pull the bandaid off and face him while he says what no doubt is going to crush me.
“You deserve to be loved. Wholly. Completely. By someone who isn’t going to take anything from you unless you give it to them first. A mate who’s going to give you the world and love that you’re in it instead of making you pay for being a part of it.
” Korvin makes eye contact with me, never once looking anywhere else.
“I don’t know how I’m going to make that last part happen but, sweetheart, I love you because you are mine. Mine and theirs.”
My heart has been racing this entire time but those words, the conviction in them, the genuineness running through each one, it has the damn thing banging against my ribs so hard it actually hurts. I might pass out. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone tell me they loved me.
I’ve had people tell me what I loved, who I loved, how I loved things but I honestly can’t say I remember anyone telling me that they love me in any way at all.
The fact that Korvin is the first person who said it, a guy who rarely talks to people, and I can tell he means it, well that’s huge. It’s enormous, and the fact that it’s him has something in my chest nearly snapping into place.
Either that or my heart broke a rib.
“But that’s also why I can’t be with you right now, not yet. I want to. My god, I fucking want to but I don’t want to be another alpha who makes you feel used.”
I can hear my blood rushing in my ears and my head starts to spin as that hope, that high I was about to let myself chase comes crashing down around me. The disappointment slams into me, it knocks the breath from my lungs and has me clutching my chest.
That feels like rejection. A lot like rejection. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know it isn’t but that’s how it feels. The person I want to please more than anything just said he can’t be with me and those words cause a pain I might not get out from under so quickly.
If I screwed up, if I upset him to make him feel like I’m not worth the trouble, I don’t know what I’ll do.
I have to show him.
I have to show him I’m worth it, that I can be what he wants me to be and I can do whatever he wants me to do.
Wringing my hands so hard the skin burns, I take a few steps toward Korvin while my mind races, while I try to think of a way to make him keep me.
”I…” I look around the room, checking the organized and stocked shelves as if the answer will be sitting on one. “I… I could…” Korvin shakes his head and the panic I was feeling roars to the forefront of my mind and drives me to react. “I’m good with my mouth.”
He frowns. “What?”
I nod as I move toward him quickly. “I know how to use it, I’m good at that.” I reach for his waist where the sleeves of the jumpsuit are tied, the top still rolled down from his workout. “That’ll make you happy, right?”
“Calix—“
“I know I can make you happy,” I say as I frantically undo them, my eyes and nose stinging. “If I do, then you’ll want to keep me. I won’t screw up anymore, I’ll do whatever you want me to do, and I’ll make you happy.”
One hand moves to the front of his jumpsuit where I place it over his crotch, rubbing so he gets hard while I use the other to try to unzip the rest of the way.
“Calix,” Korvin barks, his hands stilling my own, gently stopping me despite the firm tone. “This is not how you make me happy.”
I look up at him wide eyed, tears swimming in my vision as I nod. “It is. I can feel it. Just let me show you. I’ll prove I’m worth keeping and I’ll do whatever you say. Please.”
He shakes his head, two storms raging down at me. “This isn’t how. It’s not going to happen like this.”
”You like it, though. My hands on you.” I try to move my hand on his erection but he won’t let me so I attempt to squeeze him and hope springs up again when he groans. “See. I promise, you will like it and?—“
”That’s not how this works!” Korvin snaps, taking my hands and pushing them away.
“You don’t keep someone based on what they can do for you, you don’t throw them away for what they can’t or won’t.
Sex isn’t supposed to be the way you’ve experienced it, it’s not supposed to happen like that, and it sure as hell isn’t a bargaining tool for you to use on your mates. That’s not what love is, Calix!”
I shake my head and try getting close to him again. “It doesn’t have to be love, not if you don’t want it to. If you don’t really love me like that. I’m not asking you to, I just want you to keep me. Let me show you I’m worth keeping. Please.”
He stifles a growl of frustration, something I’m all too familiar with as he starts to pace.
“That’s the thing. You are worth keeping.
You’re worth so much more than that, especially to me.
We share a fate bond, Calix. You aren’t someone I could ever walk away from, not someone I could just throw away because you think you’re not good enough.
I won’t let you degrade yourself by using your body that way, I won’t use your body that way.
Sex with someone you love isn’t supposed to be like that! Love is not conditional!”
”Then show me!” I shout, something inside of me breaking over his words, over the bond I do feel.
Then I start to cry. For the first time in decades, I cry because I don’t understand it but I know what I feel for Korvin is love and what he’s saying contradicts that.
“Explain it to me so I understand! Show me what it’s supposed to be like! ”
He immediately pulls me to him, Korvin wrapping me in his arms and holding me tightly to his chest as he presses a kiss to my hair. “Calix, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I?—“
“No!” I shove myself away from him, swiping at my tears as I take a few steps back.
“No, I’m not going to sit here and listen to you apologize for whatever you think you’re apologizing for because to me, it feels like you’re saying you’re sorry that you don’t want me, and you think I’m too stupid to understand what you mean.
” I glare at him as he opens his mouth then keep talking when he closes it.
“And maybe I am when it comes to a lot of things, like the finer details in all of this bullshit but I do know that what I’ve experienced isn’t what love actually is.
It’s not how it’s supposed to be. If someone loves you they don’t make you do horrible things to them, they don’t do horrible things to you.
I know that. What I don’t know is how it’s actually supposed to be.
I don’t know what it’s like to be able to choose to be with someone, to touch them or kiss them because I want to.
I didn’t have a fucking clue what it’s like to be touched by someone who genuinely gives a damn about me until you did.
I don’t know what sex is supposed to be like between people who really care for each other, who might love each other and make the decision to be together in that way.
I don’t know how to use my body or sex in any way other than what I’ve been shown nearly my entire life and having a glimpse of something different makes me want that.
I’m not as smart as you or your pack but I do know I’ve never had that and I really want someone to give it to me. ”
I press the heel of my hand into my eye as I go to walk past Korvin, over this entire shitshow because it didn’t go anything like the way I thought it would.
I need to leave, to go lick my wounds in private because after my little outburst, chances of Korvin wanting me in any capacity are slim to none and I don’t feel like sticking around to hear about it.
With an irritated sniffle, I grab the knob, ready to yank the door open and run but I can’t.
Not when an alpha the size of Korvin slams his hand against it right next to my head then spins me around to face him.
”You tell me to stop and I will.”
My brow furrows in confusion as I look up at him. “What are you talking about?”
”You tell me to stop,” he repeats as his free hand cups my cheek, catching a few stray tears before it slides to the side of my neck. “And I will fucking stop.”
The last word is barely out before Korvin’s lips are on mine.
This kiss is so different from before. It’s urgent and hungry. It’s frenzied and possessive. This kiss is full of need. Full of want. There’s almost a small level of panic, an undertone of anxiety in the way Korvin is kissing me.
It feels like he doesn’t want me to go.
My hands move to his chest as he backs me against the door, fingers curling against his pecks as I fist his tank top and try to match his aggression.
It’s the kind that doesn’t scare me. An aggressiveness that’s good because it means he wants me.
Korvin wants me because he loves me, because we share a fate bond.
He doesn’t care about what I can give him if anything at all, and he won’t take whatever that may be unless I give it to him because he wants me to be happy.
”You really want to know what it’s like to be with someone who loves you?” Korvin asks as he trails open mouth kisses down the side of my neck, his teeth grazing the top of my shoulder.
I nod as my eyes slide closed. “Please, Korvin. Show me.”
He growls as his teeth nip a little harder. “You become the focus.” He kisses my collarbones and throat, the little bit of my chest that’s exposed through the top of my jumpsuit. “Your needs, your wants. Your desire. Your pleasure.”
Table of Contents
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- Page 41 (Reading here)
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