Page 22

TEN

REALITY CHECK

ISAAK

M agnolia was magnificent.

The way she stood up to her father, how she supported me and our work, the way she defended our residents.

There was a fire lit under her today and I have never found myself more proud, or aroused, than I was while she burned.

I hated to see those flames die.

It was perplexing if I’m being honest.

She went from riled up and ready to fight to almost cowering in no time flat. Everyone saw it, I know they did, and they could feel it. I believe that’s why the residents rallied around her the way they did.

That was another curiosity I hope to discuss in group if I can get the men to open up. I’m rather impressed by their behavior and I’d like to know why it happened, and positively reinforce it if possible.

While it supports everything I said about having a rapport and their trust, it was a little intense with all those alpha hormones engulfing the room.

I can’t deny that. It was almost scary to see the extremely dominant and relatively unstable alphas we deal with every day take their normal intense energy and send it into orbit.

That’s what it was. A complete shift in their auras, their energy, and they went from dangerous to something I don’t think there’s actually a word for, but feral comes to mind.

“I need to leave.”

My stare shifts from the door Dean Reynolds and his pompous sidekicks exited, to my lovely partner, who is bent over at the waist with her hands on her knees, breathing heavily and shaking.

Shit. “Magnolia.”

I reach for her on instinct, wanting to hold her through what is clearly a panic attack but stop myself. She was firm in her stance earlier and I shouldn’t violate that under the pretense of helping her through something like this.

In my defense, this is very different from what started our fight before their arrival.

Evelyn Blackhurst, another promising psychiatrist on Ward B and apparently Magnolia’s best friend, FaceTimed to invite my colleague to a bar tonight. Drinks, dicks, and karaoke was how she phrased it. Something that made my hackles raise, and I think that may be why I was invited to tag along.

I’m not very good at hiding my feelings.

Not ones of jealousy, anyway. I’ve never had them before, which means I’ve never had to hide them, and the idea of Magnolia and her friend going out to find dicks brought them racing to the surface so quickly I physically reacted.

By balking at their plans like an ass. And rolling my eyes. And possibly making a face of disgust while I mumbled under my breath.

Evelyn’s solution to my tantrum was to invite me along, Magnolia’s was to hang up on her friend and call me out on everything that’s happened since we’ve been working together.

It was embarrassing to say the least but it was also validating because now I know my feelings are not one sided.

We were in the middle of hashing it out, which was really just Magnolia ranting about all of the opportunities that have been missed while repeatedly calling me an idiot, when Dean Reynolds phoned to say he was bringing the new nurse by for introductions.

I know they have little to no relationship, that Magnolia and her father can’t seem to stand each other, but it wasn’t until Camden Blackhurst came up that my partner lost her composure.

She nearly had a panic attack in my office.

I was able to talk her down. I had her sit for a moment and do some breathing exercises while I applied pressure to the back of her neck, and she calmed enough to get through the brief and eventful meeting.

Magnolia didn’t explain anything before that, though. She simply shut down for a few moments, gathered her wits, and turned her anger on me by throwing professionalism in my face.

This is different.

She drew a line in the sand, one that was present before but is now the beginning of a wall.

Which currently leaves me helpless.

”I-I-I need to… Isaak.” Her right hand shoots out and grabs onto my belt, trying to brace herself as her knees buckle. “I need to go.”

Fuck it.

She can be angry with me later, and I can tell her she made the first move from professional to personal when she nearly shoved her hand down my slacks.

”Please entertain the residents,” I say to O’Brien as I drape Maggie’s arm around my neck and debate on carrying her. “I’ll be back once I have her situated but until then, keep things as normal as possible.”

Opting to lift her into my arms when I feel her start swaying on her feet, I rush Magnolia to my office, close the door then stand there like an idiot while I try to figure out what to do.

I’ve been in her situation before, and I’m sure this isn’t her first time, either, but she can’t consent to medication at the moment, nor can she tell me what to do to help her through this.

If it were me, I’d be using my oils, breathing in a paper bag, and doing everything I could do to avoid using taking my prescription until I absolutely had to. Then I’d retreat to my nest and stay there until I felt myself regulate.

That’s what Magnolia needs.

She needs her nest.

The peace and comfort that brings, the safety she’s built for herself.

Unfortunately for both of us, not only is that not in this building, it’s not even on campus because she lives off site.

My eyes ping around the room, moving from one corner to the next until I have an idea that might suffice for now.

I can’t get Maggie to her nest, but maybe I can bring her nest to her. Well, a nest. It’s worth a try, at least.

Moving quickly but carefully, I cross my office and head to my private bathroom, bypassing the sink and shower until I hit the small walk-in closet.

I have no idea if this is going to work; none of this smells like her or her things, there isn’t anything but towels to use. I still grab them and cover the floor, trying to pad it to the best of my ability before I set her down.

“No,” she whines as she tightens her hold around my neck. “Isaak.”

”I’ll be right back.” Maggie looks up at me with glassy eyes, panic flashing in her bright blue irises as her chest pumps furiously. “I’m going to be right back, okay?” She nods as I smooth her hair out of her face. “Head between your knees, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

I run out into the hall and toward the fresh linen closet, praying they’ve already brought up the new, never been used bedding, but they haven’t.

There’s one set left, though, and I snatch that before I head back to my office where I start grabbing every throw pillow and blanket, every piece of fabric I can get my hands on before marching back to the bathroom like a man on a mission.

One I am ill equipped to carry out.

This all smells like me .

If I were the one having a panic attack and unable to get to my nest, this would be a perfect substitute, but that is not the case and there's a good possibility that Maggie is going to hate all of this based on scent alone. Her anxiety will worsen. She may even black out. Then I’ll be forced to do something she can’t consent to just so she doesn’t go into cardiac arrest.

I have to try.

At least I’m another omega doing this for her. I have a little insight into what can be helpful.

The lighting is dim. Hopefully that works in her favor. It’s also very quiet, very calm. It’s safe.

Most would argue that considering where we are but neither of us have ever felt like we were at risk on this floor, not until today, and there’s no way leaving it is going to be a smart decision.

”Ms. Reynolds,” I say hesitantly as I enter the bathroom. “I’ve brought some things that might help. It isn’t much, and frankly I’m not sure what good they’ll do…”

My chest tightens as I look down into the closet to see Magnolia in the corner, her arms wrapped around her knees that are pulled tightly to her chest as the tears stream down her face.

She’s shaking and still breathing heavily but I can tell that her panic attack is over.

Granted, she’s still very upset, and it’s that fact that has me throwing caution completely to the wind.

I toss the blankets into a pile as I drop to my knees, violating an unspoken law amongst omegas by crowding what little space she has and reaching out to catch a few of her tears.

The idea of sharing my nest with anyone has always been something that’s made my skin crawl, it’s a sentiment I feel safe in saying most would share, but I’m at a loss for how to help. Seeing her cry is gutting me.

”Ms. Reynolds, how, tell me how I can?—“

“Magnolia,” she stammers, her lower lip trembling..

I give her a soft smile as I scoot even closer. “Magnolia, what can I do to help you right now? Tell me what you need.”

She sniffles and tucks her hand into the sleeve of her sweater, using it to wipe her face. “I need you to be Isaak.”

I frown at that because I don’t really know what that means. I’m always Isaak as far as I know. How can I be more Isaak? And why on earth would she want that?

I’ve also just realized that I scooted close enough for us to touch without even trying and if that’s being more Isaak, I should be worried.

That’s alarming .

Magnolia sniffles again but there’s a touch of a smile in her eyes.

“I don’t need Dr. Lowe. The doctor who feels like he needs to be in control of his actions at every moment, who follows all the rules and keeps boundaries firm because of it.

” She reaches out and takes my hand, twining her fingers with mine as she tugs.

“I need you to be Isaak. The man who knows what it’s like to be an omega trapped in a world full of alphas who underestimate him.

Who has had to fight tooth and nail to carve out his own path in the chaos.

I need you to be Isaak, my friend. The man who genuinely cares about me, who feels connected to me whether he wants to admit it or not. ”

My brows raise and my stomach twists. “Magnolia, I?—“