Page 51

Chaos

Declan

I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t for her to laugh.

It wasn’t a genuine laugh, but she gave me a sarcastic little cough-laugh as she stepped back from me and said, “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re not!” she said loudly, her voice filled with agitation.

“You don’t even really know me or my life.

You know the version we curated for our show, the version who wore the right clothes and held your hand while you gave speeches and played with you in SoHo as if she belonged in an ten-million-dollar apartment. That is not me, Declan.”

“I know that,” I snapped, terrified that I wasn’t going to be able to change her mind.

“Do you?” she asked, her fiery brown eyes on mine.

We heard a noise erupt at the entrance.

“Holy shit,” Roman said as he walked into the apartment with boxes piled up to his nose, oblivious to the scene in front of him. “Sorry I’m late but this was a bitch to—”

“ Yes ,” I said to Abi, ignoring Roman and wondering how it was that we were yelling at each other when I was trying to convince her I was in love with her.

“I liked that version of you, but that’s not who I’m in love with.

I’m in love with the girl who buys stupid T-shirts because they’re a good deal, whose hair sticks straight up in the morning when she runs around in pajamas with her own face on them, and the idiot who risks her fucking life to run in a 5K because she made a commitment. ”

She furrowed her eyebrows, her eyes unreadable.

Roman bumped into the wall and dropped all his boxes.

“I’m in love with the girl who would rather enjoy her job than make a fortune in finance.

I’m in love with the girl who only cooks noodles and worries about a scorpion stinging me through my shoe.

I’m in love with the girl who creates backstories that have me falling off a treadmill for her, for God’s sake. ”

“Oh,” she said, her perfect mouth forming a perfect O.

“Oh is right. I’m in love with you , damn it, and it’s really pissing me off that you refuse to accept that.

” I hadn’t meant to yell at her, but I couldn’t get her to hear me.

To understand how badly I wanted her in my life.

“I don’t know how to convince you. Tell me what I can do to show you. Please .”

“He bought you all this,” Roman said, kneeling down beside the mess of boxes he’d just dropped on the floor. “Cost a small fortune.”

“Shut up, Roman,” I muttered.

“Yeah, no offense,” she said sarcastically, sounding exactly like the Abi I’d met in Benny’s the first time, “but Dex spending money actually proves my point.”

She gave him a look like she wondered why Roman was even there.

“But on these ?” Roman asked, holding up one of the small boxes. “He spent a fortune on inhalers, which I was supposed to help him weave into the bouquets in his office, but I was too slow and you showed up earlier than we’d expected. You really should’ve called.”

I sighed, wondering how he was so good at so many things when he could be such a bumbling jackass about others. “Roman. Stop.”

“What, um…,” she said, her eyebrows crinkled together in that way that I loved, “bouquets…?”

Oh, God, please let that be interest in her eyes.

The doorbell buzzed and I heard, “MISTER POWELL?”

Fuck, what now?!

“Hold that thought,” I said to her, holding out a hand, terrified she’d leave. I yelled to the intercom, “Yes?”

“LAUREN SMEARHAVEN HERE TO SEE YOU. SHOULD I SEND HER UP?”

Lauren who? I didn’t know—

“No!” Abi yelled to the intercom, her eyes wide.

Her cheeks were pink as she turned to Roman and me, blinking rapidly as she said, “That’s my friend.”

Her friend? At my apartment?

Then she yelled to the intercom, “I’m coming down!”

Roman raised his eyebrows at me as if to say what the fuck?

“She’s welcome to come up,” I said, desperate to make Abi stay.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “This will only take a second.”

“You’re coming back?” I asked hopefully, realizing how pathetic I sounded.

“I mean, I have to clean the place and I need this job,” she said as she headed for the door. “So yes. I’ll be right back.”

As soon as the door closed behind her, Roman said, “Holy shit.”

I shook my head and dragged my hand through my hair. “Holy shit, indeed.”

“No, I mean holy shit—Lauren Smearhaven has been an investment. I think she was July, maybe.”

What? “Are you sure?” I asked.

“Think about it—Smearhaven? Not a name I’d forget.”

I looked at Roman and shook my head, wondering what in the hell else could be thrown into this scene that was supposed to be ending with Abi in my arms.

Lauren fucking Smearhaven.

“Ho- ly shit.”