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Doug Daydreams

Abi

My phone vibrated in my pocket.

Dex: Are we cool?

I looked down at his message and replied: I think so. Why wouldn’t we be cool?

I was pricing the new bags of apples, and his text would’ve normally been a welcome interruption, but what was he after here?

I was overthinking every damn thing with him and a little stressed out about the entire friendship-relationship dynamic.

He was quick to respond with: You know why. Are you OK with how NYC played out?

Was I okay with the amazing kiss? Yes. Was I okay with him making me cry over long-forgotten childhood trauma? Yes.

Was I okay with a tiny trip to New York upending my entire emotional framework? No .

I texted: Yes. NYC = very good

He texted: I hope you mean that because I’m about to completely freak you out by throwing out another proposition.

“What the hell?” I muttered to myself, then sent: What can this even be?

“ABI, CAN YOU HOP ON A REGISTER?” Benny shouted over the intercom.

“On my way,” I shouted toward the front of the store.

Dex: I don’t know when they’re done remedying your apartment situation, but how would you like to stay in my apartment for an additional week?

I stopped mid-step, almost running into a display of hemp lotion.

Because although I’d fallen wildly in love with his apartment, those eleven-foot ceilings weren’t what I was picturing as I read his message. No, the only thing I could think of was dear God, does this mean that he’s feeling it, too?

Because the kiss and the entire twenty-four-hour visit had wreaked complete and total havoc on my heart. I suddenly felt a lot toward Declan, especially when we were together. I’d been trying all day to calm my beating heart when it came to those feelings, so this message from him?

Not helping that.

He texted: Saturday is Dad’s birthday party in KC. I thought maybe you would consider going with me in exchange for one more week.

The buzzing thrum of energy his previous texts had caused immediately dissipated.

It felt like my entire body deflated as I read his words.

Because when I saw the words stay in my apartment for an additional week , I’d foolishly thought he wanted to spend more time with me, or that maybe he didn’t want our time together to end, either.

But instead of wanting to talk about our feelings, he was trying to pay me with real estate to extend this facade for his friends, colleagues, and family.

Then it got worse.

He sent: My family’s gotten a little too attached to you, so I’m thinking we’ll have the last hurrah at the birthday party and then I’ll break the news to my family that we’re taking a break.

Hopefully I can string it along at work where people won’t ask, but I feel too guilty to let my parents think this is a thing when it’s not.

Everything he said made perfect sense, but I wanted to cry.

After the weekend, he was going to end this pretend relationship and make Abi Green disappear from his life with a neat little bow.

Did that mean us, too? I mean, he’d said in New York that he wanted to be my friend, but it was going to be way easier to forget me when everyone in his life no longer remembered my name.

“ABI!” Benny yelled over the speakers. “YOU COMIN’?”

I gritted my teeth and yelled back, “YES!”

And as irritation poured through me while I walked to the front of the store and saw the long line of unhappy customers watching me like I was ruining their day, I thought, What the hell?

Why not take another week of fancy living and have a blowout weekend in Kansas City before going back to the real world alone? But did I want to keep doing this and risk having things go terribly wrong between us and possibly his family?

When the rush slowed, I texted Dex.

I’ll have to think about it. I don’t know how much more time off I can expect from Benny, and I’ve got a lot of writing to do.

He replied: You can write in Kansas City.

I texted: I don’t know.

Dex: What will it take?

I wish I knew what he meant by that. Did he think I was trying to bargain with him and make another deal, or was he just trying to convince his friend to go with him? Were we back to something transactional, or was it just a turn of phrase?

I sighed and sent: We’re really busy right now—I’ll text you when things slow down.

My phone buzzed again.

Dex: Well hurry up, Mariano, because KC sounds a lot better if you’re in it with me.

Hmmm. I might not know the answer to my questions, but I knew the answer to his. Fine—I’ll go.