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JESSE

T he screen in front of me blurs again. I think I’ve forgotten to blink.

What time is it? Leaning back into my chair, I rub my eyes with the heels of my palms, willing moisture back into them.

I came in early today to get some extra coding done, and apparently, I haven’t moved much.

Have I moved at all? Getting in the zone is easy, getting out of it?

Not so much. People at work know I’m not a “people person,” so I don’t go into the office much. I prefer to stay at my condo.

However, today I wanted the extra boost of the company network and servers, so I came here to plug straight in.

It was well worth it for the amount of work I got done.

There was a particularly tricky piece of code that I needed the extra computer power for.

With the speed of my office network, I was able to solve it in half the time. Then I got sucked into other projects.

When I glance at the clock, I note that it’s after lunch already.

I’ve been here since four or five this morning, so I decide I’m done for today.

I pack up my things and take the back exit of the building, doing my best to avoid people.

They always want to talk, and I can’t understand why.

I don’t need to know about every detail of their lives, and they sure don’t need to know about mine.

Raking a hand through my hair, I let out a sigh of relief once I’m out of the building. It’s short-lived, though, because one of my colleagues is on their way back in. Probably from lunch, like a normal person.

“Hey Jesse! Fancy seeing you here!” he says.

“Yup,” I answer.

Do I know his name? Probably. Do I care to remember? Not right now. Maybe I can get through this without admitting that.

“Did you get that code fixed? I know you mentioned it was giving you trouble,” the guy goes on.

“Yeah, fixed it this morning. Merged it into the branch, good to test.”

“Awesome, I can let our testers know, I know it’s something the boss has been chomping at the bit for. Good thing we’ve got you around.”

“Thanks. See ya.” I end our conversation with a nod and walk past him, aiming for my car.

“See ya!” he calls after, as if I didn’t just awkwardly walk away.

I grimace internally, knowing that I really should open up and talk to people more.

But I’ve got no good reason to. It’s exhausting trying to talk to people, to try and remember things about them so they think I actually care.

Newsflash, I don’t care. At all. I don’t wish them ill, but I don’t really give a shit about other people. I like my space. I like my quiet.

When I finally pull into my driveway, I feel all the tension finally roll off me.

I’m ready to relax in my quiet condo, with nobody nearby.

I moved in about a year ago, and I’ve never had a problem with noise or my neighbors.

Most of the neighbors are retired, so it’s perfect.

Except for the woman I share a wall with.

I only see her in passing, but I stare every time.

She’s tall, always has her beautiful auburn hair in a ponytail, and seems just as solitary as I am.

I never see anyone come to her home. It’s only ever her leaving.

Just like me. There’s never a chance to talk to her, and I’m not about to disrupt her peace just to say hi.

No, that sounds like a terrible choice. If she turns out to be horrible, I’m not sure I can take my fantasy being shattered by reality.

I grab my laptop bag and lock my car door before turning and freezing in place.

She’s just locking up her own door, leaving her condo as I’m just getting in.

I’ve never had the chance to ever talk to her, and I don’t know if she’s even aware that I exist. Do I approach her?

Should I leave well enough alone? The decision is made for me when her purse slips off her shoulder just enough to spill all over her walkway and grass.

“Oh, shit!” I hear as I walk over.

Hiding my smile at the sound of her swearing, I take the final couple of steps toward her and grab a couple of tubes from the ground. She’s so effortlessly adorable. I hold the tubes out.

“Here, your… uh… tubes.”

Her eyes flash to mine, warm brown eyes wide with surprise. She must not have heard me approaching.

“My what ?” she asks.

Her voice soothing, not too high-pitched, but still incredibly feminine. I look down at my hand dumbly.

“Uh, tubes,” I repeat.

She looks down at what I’m holding, then back up at me, and breaks into a beautiful smile.

I swear I almost fall over backward at the impact of it.

So far, my dream girl has exceeded every fantasy I’ve had of her.

I don’t think she can get any better. I’m officially addicted to her, and I need more.

Now I just need to pretend I know how to talk to people. Easy, right?

“Thanks for saving my tubes… It’s just gum and some creams and stuff,” she says, offering me her purse to drop them into.

“Uh, yeah, no problem. What are neighbors for, right?”

“Oh, you live in the unit next to mine?” she asks, fully standing.

I bring myself to full height as well and am pleased to find I don’t have to bend down to meet her eyes. Trying not to feel like a creeper, I nod my head, clearly I’ve been watching her, but she hasn’t noticed me.

“Uh, yeah, right there,” I tell her, pointing behind me with my thumb.

She glances between my door and me, clearly still a bit flustered. Does she smell me? Do I smell good to her? Is that why she looks a bit unsure? I don’t want to come on too strong, so I’ve left some space between us. I can’t smell her, but maybe I’m upwind of her.

“Well, thank you for helping. I appreciate it,” she tells me.

“Anytime! Um, my name is Jesse.”

She smiles again. “Jesse. I like that. I’m Josie.”

“Josie.” A matching smile spreads across my own face. “If you ever need a cup of sugar, feel free to knock on my door.”

She bites her lip and looks up at me through her lashes.

“Same for you. I mean, I’m open for you. Uh, no, shit. God, I’m awkward.” Her face flushes a beautiful red.

I chuckle, “I got you, don’t worry.”

She places one of her hands on her forehead, groaning in embarrassment.

“This is why I don’t flirt,” she mutters.

My grin widens, “You flirtin’ with me, pretty girl?”

“Pretty girl?”

“Yeah,” I clear my throat, trying not to let on how nervous I am, “One of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. Or met.”

She giggles a little, and if I wasn’t already smitten, that would have gotten me. I feel all warm and shit when I hear it. Internally, I work myself up, deciding to just shoot my shot.

“I know we’re neighbors, but, um, can I give you my number? You know, in case you need that sugar. I can make sure I have some so you don’t come over to disappointment.”

“I’m not sure I could be disappointed if you’re there.”

I duck my head with a smile. I’m not used to compliments or being social in general, so I’m not sure what to do with myself. I reach down and rifle through my laptop bag for a piece of paper and a pen. I land on some sticky notes and pull them out, hastily scrawling my number on one.

“Uh, my handwriting isn’t great, can you read that?”

She peers over and nods, “Yeah, totally, it’s not that bad.”

I pull off the sticky note and hold it out for her.

She reaches out to take it from me, and as she does, I feel it.

A zap, straight from my fingers to my heart, then throughout my body.

It’s brief, no more than a second, but I recognize what it is.

A Match. Everyone hopes to find theirs, but I never had.

I didn’t want the burden of having to care about another person besides myself.

Now, though? Now my entire world has shifted.

My soul feels like it was never whole until this moment.

Maybe it’s dramatic, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a beam of light came from the sky to focus solely on her.

Everything revolves around her now, just from that one feeling.

It’s not something we can solidify until we bond, but just feeling that zap is unlike anything I’ve heard.

People talk about a zing, or a zap, but it’s also a sudden clarity of what’s important.

Which is this person you Match with. The woman in front of me.

I have to hope that she’s happy about this and not horrified.

My eyes fly up to her, needing to see her reaction, but she’s not looking at me; she’s busy putting the note into her wallet.

Once it’s secure, she looks up brightly at me, seemingly unaware of the shift that just occurred in my soul.

Fuck, did I imagine it? She’s completely unaware of what just happened, while my fingers still tingle. How?

“Well, thanks again for the help! I’ll, uh, text you later if that’s okay?” she says with a small smile.

“Please do,” I tell her, forcing a smile on my face.

I have to believe that she was too distracted to feel it.

Next time we see each other, I’ll make sure I’m close enough for her to smell.

She’ll have to notice the Match then. Yeah, definitely, that will work.

Resolve settles in me as I watch her get into her car and drive away from me. We’ll figure this out.