Page 13

13

SKYE

Almost drifting off, my body tilts slightly when the mattress dips on the other side of the bed.

Panicked, I shoot up and fumble about, desperately trying to locate the switch for my nightstand lamp and flick it on.

My pulse stops racing when I realize it’s just Jacob.

But wait, what?

Lying fully clothed, still in his dress shirt and trousers from earlier, fingers laced together over his hips, he’s lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“Everything okay?” I turn onto my side to face him.

Pulling the pillow into my neck, not knowing what comes next, I make myself comfortable.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you, Skye.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper.

“It’s not okay. I’ve behaved like an asshole this week,” he answers miserably.

I reach out and wrap our pinky fingers together and he gives mine a little squeeze.

“Jay,” I start. “Neither of us knows what we are supposed to say or do, or how to behave now. This is new territory for us both.”

Our entwined hands land on top of the bedcovers when he turns to face me. The warm, low light of the room makes him look even more gorgeous. I’ve always admired how handsome he is, but the sex appeal and dominance he exudes suddenly feels overwhelming, making it difficult not to eat up the space between us and kiss his tempting lips.

I draw a shaky breath. “We have to learn how to work together again. I miss my friend. And my bossy boss.”

“I want that too,” he replies with a long sigh. “And I’m not bossy.”

“Yes, you are,” I tease and throw him a smile.

A look of distress flashes over his face. Painful minutes pass, but I’m happy to lie here with him.

Eventually, he says, “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I have nothing to hide from you anymore and I want you to know that it’s never been just a stupid high-school crush or an infatuation. You are like no other woman I have ever met. You’re stupidly smart, creative as hell, funny. You giggle at the silliest of jokes; you class everyone as your friend. You’re accepting of everyone’s quirks and you always make people feel important. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, but everything I’ve never been allowed to have.” The vulnerability drips from his words, making my heart and body ache for him.

Daily, Jacob displays big-dick energy. His presence can be felt from a mile away, but he’s quiet and he never talks about his feelings; he’s deeper than the abyss. However, tonight, he’s so sincere, cracking open his heart and letting me see inside.

His thumb slowly brushes across the top of my hand. I could grow to like him doing that.

“I hate the weekends,” he blurts.

Confused, I frown.

“It’s the days I don’t get to see you and if you leave Baxter and Bain, I might fucking die if I don’t get to see your beautiful, kind face every day. I don’t think my heart could survive not seeing you, Skye.” A glimmer of sadness dances in his eyes as he keeps on talking. “I asked my father if I could move to a different role, away from Castleview. But honestly, I can’t bear the thought of being away from you. I can’t live without you?—”

“Jay,” I interrupt.

“Let me finish what I need to say.” His eyes drop for a moment. “I’ve had a few girlfriends, you know I have, but none of them ever felt right and it always felt like I was cheating on you. That sounds so stupid when I say it out loud.” Embarrassment reddens his cheeks, reminding me of that skinny, shy sixteen-year-old boy.

His eyes close. “The way I feel about you.” A long sigh leaves his throat. “It hurts loving you. Knowing that you can’t be mine when that’s all I want. I want your morning smiles, to hear your laughter fill every space I am in, to hold you, douse myself in your magic. But I can’t do any of that.”

I’m too stunned to reply. My heart is about to burst for this man.

His deep voice vibrates in my veins when he says, “I don’t know how to fall out of love with you. And if I’m honest, I don’t want to.”

I don’t want him to either.

He looks up at me again.

“Owen is my best friend. He’s always been there for me. Annoying as he is, he always stuck up for me at school, and he taught me how to do stunts on my BMX. He even taught me how to tie my shoelaces.” He studies my face. “He’s my boy.”

“Your ride or die?” I keep my voice low.

“Yeah.” He gives a soft nod. “Plus, he’s troubled right now, and he won’t speak to me or Lincoln about it, but I know he needs us.”

“He won’t speak to anyone, Jacob. You should know this by now.”

He clears his throat. “He let something slip the other night when he was drunk. He said he was getting married.”

Shocked to my core, I yell louder than I planned, “What?”

“I don’t know anything other than that and the fact that her name is Evangeline.”

“Evangeline Muircroft?” I exclaim, almost laughing at how predictable his mother is.

“Who’s that?”

“One of his mother’s friend’s daughters. She’s like ten years younger than him.”

“Are you upset?” he questions quietly, as if he’s nervous about my reply.

“Yes, but not in the way you think. I’m mad at his mother for making him marry her. Poor Owen.” I’m so glad I’m out of all that. I was not suited to that role.

“Not about Owen marrying someone else?”

“Hell, no. Owen is just a friend,” I reassure him.

“Like me?” he asks, and I can’t decide if he’s offering it as a reminder that we can never happen or a question to discover if I’ve forgiven him for everything he’s put me through this week.

“You’re a great friend, and you’re also my boss.” Disappointment flashes across his face, and his thumb stops tracing my skin. “But I think I might want more with you, Jacob.”

“Do you mean that?”

I shuffle closer. The only parts of our bodies touching are his hand in mine, but I can feel the heat emanating from him, lighting me up and filling me with a burning desire.

I nod. “I like being loved by you. And all those things you did for me. To make sure I was looked after. The gifts feel even more special now, knowing they came from you.” I release my hand from his and rest it on his scruff-covered face. It’s much softer than I thought it would be. “You are a very special guy and I would really like to explore us . It could be kind of wonderful.”

His eyes, full of emotion, shine back at me, almost as if he can’t believe what I am saying and he covers my hand with his. “I have to speak to Owen and tell him the truth,” he says in a gentle whisper. “Lincoln thinks he’ll punch me in the nuts.”

That makes me giggle. “Lincoln knows?”

“And Violet. Lincoln guessed about a year ago, then he told Violet.”

“I wish you had asked me out on a date first,” I admit.

“Me too,” he whispers.

“What if he doesn’t take the news well?”

“I don’t know.” His honesty is refreshing, but he sounds disheartened.

“What if he makes you choose between him or me?”

Jacob flinches like he’s been slapped. “I can’t even think about that. I already lost you. I can’t lose him too.”

“You’ve not lost me, Jacob. I’m right here.”

Jacob doesn’t say a word, but dances his fingers over the side of my face, pushing a lock of my hair away.

“What if he gives you his blessing?” I ask.

“Then you’ll understand the true meaning of what it’s like to be loved by someone who loves you with every bone in his body,” he says, his tone thick with possession.

“And what if I don’t want to date you?” I tease.

“Then you’ll have to watch me date other girls.” He smirks, knowing he got me back.

Jealousy threads through my veins. “Like the girl from your office that night?”

He groans. “Her name is Verity. She’s just a…”

“Saturday night booty call?” My eyebrows shoot up in curiosity.

“Kinda.”

My tone drips with sarcasm. “Sounds like fun.”

“She was a Saturday night thing. Past tense. I haven’t hooked up with her or anyone since the night in the office with you, Skye, and I’m familiar with the jealousy thing. I know that feeling well.” A frown darkens his face. “Not being able to touch you, to hold you, or to feel your lips on mine is slowly killing me.”

“You need to speak to Owen. Soon.” I won’t let him jeopardize his friendship. I don’t want to be the one that comes between them. “But will you stay with me tonight?”

He blinks owlishly. “I… can’t…”

“Not like that , Jay. Just stay right where you are, fully clothed, and hold me. Or is that breaking the rules?” It may be all I ever get. “Give me just one night.”

With ease and gentle dominance, and only the comforter separating us, he pulls me into his thick arms, tucking my head into his neck.

“You smell good,” he mumbles, draping his arm around my waist. “Like coconut and vanilla.”

“You feel good.” I snuggle into his chest, relaxing in his bear hug.

“Now go to sleep, Butterfly. We have a big day tomorrow.”

“We’re traveling home. It’s hardly exciting.” I rest my hand on his pec and it flexes under my touch.

“Our flight isn’t until tomorrow night. I have fun plans for us booked before then. Let me make it up to you for being an asshole?”

“Are we going to the Tate Modern?” I start to get excited.

“You’ll see. Now sleep.”

I bury myself against the solid frame of his athletic body, feeling his heart beating in time with mine.

“I think I found my new favorite place,” I mumble, feeling tired.

“You’ve always been my favorite place.” He pulls me in tighter, as if wanting to climb inside my body. “Thank you for accepting my apology and listening to me.”

“Thank you for loving me.”

“Night, Butterfly.”

With that, I drift off in his loving arms and have the best night’s sleep since arriving in London, where I dream of being wrapped in emerald silk, surrounded by ethereal butterflies, and showered in golden stars.

If this is what Jacob’s love feels like, I think I want to stay here forever.