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Now

Seth: What are you doing today?

Nina: Gonna go to the shops just to pick up a book I preordered! How about you?

Seth: Hmm I was going to sit and do nothing…but watching you pick up a book sounds much more fun

Nina: Oh you don’t need to, really!

Seth: Were you going with Elena or Veronica? Or Celine?

Nina: No….

Seth: Then may I have the privilege of accompanying you?

Nina: Only because you are furiously begging me…

The conversation with Jae the night before had boggled Seth’s thoughts. Seth thought he could be content with just being Nina’s friend, with just being there before.

But it would no longer do, if he didn’t at least try to see if there was a possibility.

He wanted her, as more than a friend. So much.

When Nina let Seth accompany her to pick up her book, he saw it as the perfect opportunity. Except, on the bus ride to the shops he couldn’t find the words.

Later.

When they ate lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant, and Nina was sitting across from him, looking beautiful as ever, he still couldn’t find the words.

As they shopped a little more, passing game stores for Seth’s entertainment, he still couldn’t do it.

Before he knew it, four hours had passed and it was time for them to go home.

Am I still a coward?

That’s when he promised himself that he would tell her on the ride home.

Or the walk home.

Either way, he wouldn’t mess it up.

“So, the funniest thing. This guy from university literally messaged me last night,” Nina told him, as they sat side-by-side on the bus.

Dark clouds loomed over them outside, concealing the blue sky that’d been there just hours before. It was times like this that he really wished he had his own car, but his family only shared two and both his parents were at work today.

He would drive her anywhere, if he did. And even if there was nowhere to drive to, he’d drive her anyway, just to be with her. Listen to music. Listen to her stories. Anything.

“Who was it?” Seth asked. He held her tote bag at his thighs, having refused to let her carry it.

“Oh, this peer of mine I’ve worked on a group project with, maybe last year? I’d always been friendly with him…well…” she drifted a little. Chewed at her cheek a bit.

That’s when the anxiety coated him, like a fog. Pieces of a puzzle formed in his brain.

A guy… university….friendly….

“And?” Seth asked, his voice a little hoarse.

“I was really surprised. He asked me out,” Nina said. Then she chuckled, and pulled at her shirt a little. Another nervous tick.

“He asked you out.”

His voice sounded distant. An echo.

Can’t lose her again, can’t lose her again.

“What did you say?”

Nina opened her mouth, but was cut off as they reached their bus stop.

The rain outside was falling heavier now. It hit him, the droplets feeling like cold stabbing shards as they stepped outside.

“Oh my gosh, I really should’ve checked the weather today,” Nina said, with a groan.

They stepped under the cover of the bus stop, the rain beating like drums against its plastic roofing. As they sat down, Nina shook her head a little. Some of the rain had dampened her hair already.

“Wait - my book!”

The first thing Seth did was tuck her bag under his jumper. He’d gotten wet - but the bag and especially her new book was okay. Nina’s body had shifted toward him, and once her eyes fell on his face, she smiled.

“Your hair,” she laughed, pointing toward it.

As if on cue, droplets of water snaked its way down his forehead, and he felt the wet strands of his hair stick against his skin.

A jolt ran through him as Nina thumbed a droplet of water that’d run all the way down to his cheek. The heat of her touch spread like wildfire, setting his skin ablaze. Before he’d realised what he was doing, his hands closed softly around her wrist, keeping her hand against his cheek.

A gasp escaped her lips, drawing his attention there.

“Nina,” he whispered.

His hand moved to hold the curve of her neck, and his fingers threaded through the wet strands of her hair. He pulled her closer, slowly, as if he could somehow anchor himself to her.

Every motion was slow, calculated. He gave Nina every possible chance to pull away. To close the door on this.

But she wasn’t pulling away. He was close enough now to feel the kiss of her breath against his mouth.

Then, carefully, as if everything about this was fragile, he pressed his lips against hers.

A soft touch. A gentle nudge. A question.

She stilled. Then, everything shifted.

Their mouths moved against each other, with an unspoken hunger. His lips moved over hers with a certainty that he’d never known he possessed, against all the other lips he’s touched before.

This is it. This is it for me.

The world around them slipped away, the rain dissolving into nothing. Until it was just Nina. Nina.

As the kiss ended, he lingered, his mouth resting softly against hers. Her skin was cool from the rain, but there was this warmth in the way his palms cupped her cheeks.

In the way he let his fingers trace the curve of her jaw, slowly, as if to commit her to his memory.

To memorise this feeling, this moment. She was everything that was familiar, and everything that wasn’t, all at once.

“I should’ve done that ten years ago,” he murmured, pulling away.

Her eyes - brown and luminous - were wide with shock, pupils dilated. She didn’t draw back, didn’t pull away, didn’t move.

As if suspended in the moment, in the gravity between them.

Does she feel it too?

Their breaths mingled, their shaky exhales tangling together as a dissonant quiet took hold between them. Every cell in Seth’s body yearned to kiss her again.

“Seth -”

“Don’t go out with him.”

“What are you -”

“I’m so fucking crazy for you, Nina Mendez. You’re all I think about. You’re all I’ve been able to think about since I saw you again at the train station. So give me the chance. Fall for me, again.”

He was met with nothing but the sound of the rain drumming everywhere around them, the noise heightened by his nerves. Their gazes danced, the electricity still thrumming between them.

Nina said nothing, but her eyes - they told him everything he needed to know. That she felt it too. Felt it again.

Their lips found each other again. This time, it was a soft caress. A whisper of a kiss, with a fog of uncertainty.

And beneath it all, all the what ifs fading away to nothing.