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Now

The Saturday after their movie night, Seth saw Nina’s friends for the first time in four years.

He’d been at the shops, picking up some snacks for him and Jae, who he was planning to visit that day.

He was in the nachos aisle, when he bumped into Nina, Veronica and Celine in the cold goods aisle.

They were each carrying a basket with baking ingredients. He remembered how she and the girls had a planned sleepover baking date with Veronica.

“Seth!” Nina exclaimed, with a grin. She had little braids in her hair, and her lips were a glossy red. Gorgeous .

“Hi Nina,” he breathed. His eyes turned to Veronica and Celine, who were looking at him in shock. “Veronica, Celine - it’s been so long -”

“It has,” Veronica spoke up first, nodding, “How have you been? Nina told us you’re doing a gaming major at the moment, and doing a capstone project -”

“That’s right,” Seth affirmed, smiling. How often did Nina speak about me? “How have you both been?”

“Good, good. You know, I’ve been studying digital art,” Veronica informed, and Seth already knew that from when Nina would gush over her works.

“I’ve just been trying to get through the nursing course,” Celine said. That, too, Seth remembered.

“That’s good, that’s good. Nina tells me all about your ambitions all the time. You both sound like you’re amazing at what you’ve chosen,” Seth said, and with every word, he felt the heat climbing in his cheeks.

He was nervous, he realised, seeing them. After all, he’d shared classes with these girls, too.

Shared memories of angry teachers, of passing around homework answers, and whispered gossip. They’d scorched him with their eyes, four years ago, when he broke Nina’s heart. He’d never forget the way they’d glare at him in the hallways after that, as if hoping he’d catch on fire at any second.

He wondered if that kind of resentment even left. They had 5 years of distance between them, but still. Their last memory of him was what he said. At least, with Nina, he was able to redeem himself, much better than he’d ever hoped.

The reunion was short-lived as Veronica nodded in the direction of the cashier.

“Anyways, we’d better get going. See you, Seth.”

“See you guys,” he said, channelling as much kindness as he could muster into his smile. He wanted to show them he was different, that he wasn’t the dickhead he used to be.

That he was worthy of Nina’s time, to be her friend. Perhaps, even more.

He watched as they left, lingering on Nina.

Turn back, he thought. Just once.

Just as he was about to exit, thinking he was disillusioned in the thought she’d actually turn back to look at him, he noticed her head turn.

That’s when their eyes met. And she smiled.

For the first time, the hope bloomed into something ablaze. More than a small flame. The hope of something more.

“Do you think you’ll make a move?” Jae asked when Seth came over.

They were both trying out the new, multiplayer shooting game that's made its rounds on social media.

“Because you both have been spending quite a lot of time together.”

The question made Seth’s heart accelerate. It’s all he thought about. The possibilities, the what-ifs. Yet…

“I don’t know. I want to…but I want her to want to,” Seth responded. He put down the controller, and leant against Jae’s futon, “Like God, more than anything. But I’m scared of pushing her, or confusing her too much. Especially after Carlos.”

Jae quirked a brow.

“Come on Seth. If someone like me could get someone like Anya to agree to be my girlfriend, then surely you could win Nina over again, too. That girl was literally obsessed with you in high school.”

“Maybe. But I just want to take it slow with her. Make sure everything is right, because when it comes to her….she deserves right. She deserves perfection. She deserves everything good, and nothing less.”

To that, Jae sighed, as he loaded up another round.

“I get you. But also, sometimes you’ll never know until you make it happen. I hope the best for you bro, I do.”

There were moments where Seth believed they could possibly be more.

Moments where Nina’s gaze would linger, and there’d be a quiet flicker in her eyes.

Moments where their hands would brush when they walked home from the train station.

Jae’s words lingered in Seth’s brain for the rest of July, a fog that he couldn’t get rid of.

You won’t know until you make it happen.