Page 3

Story: If Only

Suddenly, he had the urge to ask her why she liked him in high school. It was a question he’d always wondered, if he was being honest, just out of curiosity. I mean, anyone would want to know why.

He opened his mouth, the question on the tip of his tongue, before deciding against it.

No, that was weird.

They barely knew each other, and they hadn’t seen each other in a long time. It’s not really a conversation starter with someone you’ve just seen for the first time in a while.

And honestly, they were just strangers with a past they shared.

He was strangely acutely aware of the way their knees were brushing slightly against each other. Seth clamped his lips shut, fighting the urge.

Instead, he asked, “So, are you still in contact with anyone else from high school?”

Nina met his eyes again.

“Of course,” she said, “I’m still very close with Veronica -”

Veronica Ho and Nina have been friends since Seth could remember. He was pretty sure they had lived on the same street since they were children and remained best friends throughout high school. The two were always at each other’s side.

“What about Bianca and Celine? Theresa?” he asked, surprised at how he remembered the friends she hung with.

At that, Nina shook her head.

“Still close with Celine, but not Bianca or Theresa. Fell out of touch after graduation.”

She gave a nonchalant shrug, and Seth wondered if she was truly nonchalant about having drifted from a friend he remembered was always with her throughout high school.

Seth also remembered having a crush on Bianca at some point. He wondered if Nina ever knew about that.

“How about you?” Nina asked, training her eyes on his.

“Well…”

There was a time, for a few months after graduation, when Seth and the group of friends he’d always stuck with in high school stayed in contact. Then, there was a time where it just…stopped. No more gaming nights. No more memes sent to the group chat.

The friendship fizzled, as if it was locked in high school, and that’s it.

Did he want Nina to know that? Does it even matter?

“The same old boys,” he said.

“That’s sweet,” Nina said, and a soft smile graced her lips. Her smile was the same, too.

The air between them had softened, the previous awkwardness having lifted slightly. Still there, but not as much.

Does she remember how you broke her heart?

Quashing the thought, Seth continued, “And are you working anywhere at the moment?”

At this, Nina sighed loudly.

“Not at the moment. I just quit a retail job at my local IGA supermarket at the beginning of this year, because I’m praying the next job will be, you know, in the industry.

So, fingers crossed that I’m lucky with upcoming publishing internships,” she professed, and lifted her crossed fingers. “Are you?”

“I was working at a shoe store for a bit, but quit last year,” Seth said.

He’d actually enjoyed his time at the shoe shop, having gotten the gig sometime at the end of Year 12, just before his graduation.

It distracted him alot from the emptiness of both his Mum and Dad’s houses, back when they lived separately.

Where many didn’t want to work gruelling, long hours, Seth always loved when he’d had to work the longer 8 hour shifts.

At least, there, he had his coworkers to talk to.

But he wasn’t going to tell all of that to Nina.

“Like you, I’m hoping I get lucky with a placement at a good gaming tech company, you know?”

Nina’s head tilted, her gaze clouding over in sentiment, her lips quirking up slightly.

“Look at us, all grown up.”

“I know right. We really are grown up.”

Outside, the train emerged from the tunnel, unveiling Sydney’s cityscape. Nearing their destination.

Usually, the train rides felt much longer. Yet this one went by in a flash.

“Finally,” Nina said as the train approached Central station.

“Oh I see, you’re getting sick of my company already?” Seth teased, his lips pulling into a smirk. He was unsure of where the newfound confidence came from, but knowing that their little catch-up was coming to an end made him feel oddly disappointed.

Nina rolled her eyes.

“You’re still the same Seth I remember,” she stated, her lips pulling into a smile.

For some reason, the sentence made Seth feel warm, and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it had to do with the fact that the Seth Nina remembered, was the one she liked for almost all of high school.

Finally, the train pulled up to the platform. In a hurry, passengers started to stand up, even before the train came to a complete halt. Some had even blocked their way out of their seats. A small space opened up, and Seth quickly took it, motioning for Nina to stand in front of him.

They all poured out of the train doors in a hurried heap.

Seth knew he was already late, so he wasn't in so much of a hurry.

Nina, however, had picked up her pace. Seth found himself trying to keep up beside her as they ascended the stairs that led them out of the platform, and into the main station.

Craning his neck down, Seth observed Nina with bemusement. As if summoned by his gaze, she glanced up, and he looked away, a little abashed.

“This morning rush, huh?” he asked, so she didn’t think he was just staring at her.

“Ugh, yep.”

They both tapped out at the Opal machine and finally stepped out into the open. Sun rays shone through the clouds, casting a rainbow after the drenched night and early morning. Luckily, the ground had dried up a little for them to walk.

As they reached the end of the footpath, Seth turned to Nina, who was already facing the opposite direction.

“Well, it was good seeing you,” he started.

“You too, Seth,” she said, “We should catch up sometime.”

He knew it was a line out of politeness. He knew that after this, they’d likely never even speak again.

The two stood a foot away, almost way too awkwardly for a hug. Instead, Seth held out his hand. Nina chuckled, as if relieved, and shook it.

“So long, Nina Mendez.”

“Take care, Seth Moore.”

Nina broke her hand away first, and hurriedly sauntered down the path.

Seth watched her for a few moments, confident that he would probably never see Nina Mendez again.