Page 14

Now

“Have you never asked out a girl before?”

“Did she reject you?”

All it took was Seth’s expression to have Jae burst into laughter. He could not be regretting this conversation more.

The weekend did nothing to soothe his feelings out, it just enraged it more.

So, he and Jae both decided that asking Nina out on a simple date wouldn’t hurt.

It would help Seth to see whether his feelings were those kinds of feelings.

Get it out of his system. See whether any of this was worth the fuss.

“But aren’t you on dating apps?”

That was true. Seth had the usual apps downloaded, but it wasn’t like he was heavily active on them. And it wasn’t like any of the girls he’d spoken to ever eventuated into anything serious. The last girl was probably months ago. Almost a year.

Chantelle, her name was.

Asking them out was different though. Seth knew that both parties were chatting with the intention of it leading somewhere.

There was always the same destination. With Nina, however, he wasn’t super sure.

Seth would like to believe that there was still something in there for him from Nina.

Maybe a flame that he needed to spark again.

After all, Nina had the biggest crush on him once.

How hard could it be to spark those feelings again?

The only thing was, Seth hadn’t asked out a girl in so long, not someone he knew like he did Nina.

More importantly, are you ready to be in a relationship?

He wouldn’t think of the answer to that right now. He’d cross that bridge once he got to it.

“Just be chill about it,” Jae said, between bites of his mother’s homemade tteokbokki. It actually looked really appetising. Seth was tempted to reach across and snatch one with his fork. Even more so now after Jae had burst into laughter.

“Well, what about you?” Seth asked, deciding to pull the reverse card on him. “When are you gonna ask Anya out?”

At that, Jae must’ve swallowed the tteokbokki a little too fast, as he began to choke. Some of the spit landed on Seth’s cheeks, and he wiped it away with disgust.

Before Jae could recover and respond, Seth quickly added, “If you finally ask Anya out on a date, then maybe I’ll do the same with Nina.”

The smirk forming on Jae’s face as he finally gulped his water and cleared his throat, was not what Seth was expecting.

“Seth, I never said it had to be a date you know,” Jae cooed, “All I said was ask Nina to hang out sometime, which can either be a friendly one, or one that turns into a date.”

Seth opened his mouth. Closed it. Then, his cheeks began to burn.

What the hell was even happening. Why did he feel like this was high school, and worse yet, a high school boy with a crush? Seth was 22 .

22-year-olds shouldn’t be this nervous about asking someone out.

Breathing in, breathing out, Seth decided that he wouldn’t put anymore weight on the situation.

“Okay, whatever,” Seth said, ignoring the lingering smirk on Jae’s face. He wished he could slap it off of him. “I’ll as-”

“Hey boys.”

It was Seth’s turn to smirk. And Jae’s turn to turn completely red. It was so easy to notice it too. Against Jae’s porcelain appearance, his blush appeared so vividly.

Anya sauntered up to them. Today, her back hair was pulled back into a braid, and she was wearing a set of denim overalls.

If Seth were in Jae’s position, feeling the feelings Jae had, Seth too would be blushing furiously.

Until he remembered that that’s exactly how he reacted, whenever Jae brought up Nina.

“I bought some fries from the fish and chips place, if you wanted some,” she announced.

She settled beside Jae on the grass, crossing her legs, and placed the fries right in the middle of the little triangle she’d created.

“How was class today, Anya?” Jae asked, his eyes trained on the fries. Seth knew his interest wasn’t in the fries. Anya shrugged, her fingers tearing into her wrapped burger.

“Nah, I didn’t have class today, I just spent the morning in the studio working on my major piece. Been mixing vocals for two hours.”

Seth had no idea what that all meant, but it was intriguing anyway. Most of all, Jae appeared totally immersed in what Anya had to say.

“Before you know it, you’ll be one of those big shot producers,” proclaimed Jae, as he nudged Anya’s sides. She met his gaze with an amused expression, and pinched him back.

“So, when are you going to sing for me, Jae? I can make you into a popular kpop artist if you want.”

At that, both Seth and Jae burst into laughter. Jae couldn’t sing for the life of him.

“Oh, I wish,” Jae chuckled.

“Well, I still want to hear you sing, anyway,” Anya responded, and from the softness of her voice, Seth suddenly felt like an intruder.

He could feel the shift in Jae’s mood; the way his posture had straightened, the way his body turned toward Anya. It was pathetic in an endearing way.

He took this moment as a window.

“Actually, Anya,” Seth began. At this, Jae’s neck shot toward Seth, “Jae had something he wanted to ask you.”

He could practically feel the laser beams that Jae was attempting to shoot out of his eyes to incinerate Seth. It was probably a dick move, Seth knew, but if this ‘ date’ with Nina was going to happen, then he would be dragging Jae down with him.

He’d deal with the consequences later, which would definitely be Jae’s wrath and a big punch to the head, probably. Anya perked up in interest, however, at Seth’s words. She turned to Jae expectantly.

“Yeah?”

Jae, still wishing death upon Seth with his eyes, turned and met Anya’s. He breathed in. Breathed out.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to, you know, hang out sometime,” he began, “Sometime being this Saturday. With Seth and his friend. Four of us hanging out. Saturday.”

Seth held up his hand, sensing a ramble that would not end for a while.

“We’re going to hang out in the city, just as a little breather from uni, does that sound good?”

A ghost of a smile was floating on Anya’s lips, as she glanced back at Jae. He didn’t meet her eyes. Again, trained on the fries she’d placed earlier.

“I’m free Saturday,” she said. She bumped Jae's shoulder. “Pick me up then?”

“Oh yes, of course,” Jae responded, finally meeting her gaze.

Seth smiled. Before he realised, it was his turn to ask Nina.

“It’s basically about this girl who accidentally swallowed the soul of this, like, century old fox being, you know? And because of that, she has to move in with the guy and figure out a way to get it back out of her, since that’s his whole soul right -”

Nina was explaining to Seth, and basically the entire train carriage since her voice carried far, the plot of a new k-drama she’d started. Seth nodded along, though he’d already been lost from the mention of a century old fox. He’d have to ask her to rewind back to that. Explain it all again.

“ - but it’s also a romantic comedy which I love. I want to write stuff like that one day.”

She sighed at the last line, settling back against her seat.

Seth watched as her eyes fixated on the blur of passing suburbs outside the train.

He noticed she often did that, especially when she was caught in a daydream of sorts.

She’d have a long stream of consciousness, before suddenly getting stuck against the current. Until a thought caught her.

He took the time that she was distracted, to take her in. The curve of her nose. Her long lashes. Her brown eyes. Today, she was wearing a hint of caramel eyeshadow. Her eyeliner, or mascara, whichever, had smudged a little. It made her appear a little smokey eyed.

So pretty.

She smiled, a little shyly.

“I’m being totally cheesy right now, aren’t I?”

You’re being adorable.

“Nah, you’re being passionate,” Seth said.

It was admirable, really, how Nina spoke of her ambitions. Her passions. It was inspiring.

“Now, I’m sure you’ve got something you’re passionate about. Tell me about it,” Nina said, nudging him with her fist. She adjusted herself on her seat beside him, so she was facing him.

Since they’d begun riding the train together more often, they no longer took the singular seats that faced one-another, but the dual seats, so that they were side by side.

Seth had to glance away from her gaze, because it made him forget the question he was being asked.

“I mean, I love gaming. Don’t get me wrong, and my course is amazing. But after we’ve graduated, after we’ve got our degrees…I’m a little clueless on what to do beyond it. I don’t know which path I want to take, whether I want to work in programming, or design, or modelling…”

When Seth thought really hard about it, it always came out fuzzy.

There was always this stress of getting into the right course, which was ridiculous to think about at 17-years-old.

Then, once the course is done, and the degree handed to you, there was the matter of taking your place in society.

Getting a job in your degree, or else it was deemed a waste. Of knowing straight away, what it was that you wanted to do. It seemed all too much for early-twenty-something year olds to decide.

“I guess, I have a dream, but I don’t know if it’s strong enough, you know?”

“Not having a dream is not a bad thing,” Nina said softly, “There’s really no right or wrong way. As long as you’re happy and content, you know? This kpop group I love, BTS, sings about it, actually.”

A grin settled on her lips. “There’s a song I love.

It’s called ‘Paradise’ , which basically talks about how you don’t need a dream to live your life.

You don’t really need big, grandiose dreams, kind of thing.

You just need to live life the way you want, in the way that makes you fulfilled and happy. ”

As Nina continued on, he felt a sense of calm settle over his worries. A blanket of sorts. Her words, her presence. Everything about her was comfort.

He must’ve betrayed something in his face, because Nina suddenly stopped. Met his gaze.

“What’s up?” she asked.

Snapping out of it, Seth blinked. Blinked away whatever his eyes betrayed.

“Nothing, just that -” he scrambled for something. An excuse. He prayed the growing warmth in his cheeks wasn’t noticeable.

Thankfully, the train pulled up to their spot at that very moment. Without another word, the two of them got up, leaving the conversation behind.

As they exited the train station, heading down the path toward their houses, Seth remembered that he still needed to ask Nina out for Saturday. He felt his heart quicken nervously. Which was ridiculous. All he needed to do was just ask Nina if she was free that Saturday.

To hang out. With friends.

It wasn’t a date, not at all.

Would Nina want it to be a date?

Suddenly, the thought of Nina having feelings for him again consumed him. The thought of her blushing over him, the thought of her looking at him the way she used to back in high school…

“Dude, are you okay?” Nina asked with a chuckle. He’d been silent, he realised.

Clearing his throat, he glanced down at her. She was still much shorter than him, reaching up to just his shoulders.

“Hey, what are you doing this Saturday?”

Nina looked up to him in surprise. Her eyes had this habit of widening the slightest when she was.

“Well, nothing really,” she said, “Why? Did you want to do something?”

Seth flexed his hands, feeling that it was disgustingly moist with sweat. Ugh .

“Me and a couple friends are hanging out,” he said, “I was wondering if you wanted to come along?”

A moment of hesitation on Nina’s part threw Seth into a mental spiral.

Shit, maybe Nina wasn’t comfortable hanging out with people she didn’t know. Maybe she would be nervous. She was naturally friendly, of course, but that didn’t necessarily mean she hung out with just anybody .

Or maybe, Nina is remembering how much of a dick Seth was to her in high school, and rethinking their friendship.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Seth shook away these thoughts. Snapped out of it, when Nina said, “That sounds like so much fun, I’m overdue for a chill, fun time out, if I’m being honest.”

She was smiling up at him, looking genuinely excited.

“So, where are we going? I haven’t eaten out at the city in a while, and I know there’s so many good food options - oh god, now I’m salivating over the food -”

Seth couldn’t help the laugh that came out as he watched Nina’s excitement grow, feeling like he wanted to bottle up all her goodness and keep it for himself.

As they reached their streets, their conversation about good restaurants in the city came to an end.

“Well, I’ll see you Sat,” Seth said, lifting his hand in a small wave.

Nina stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. She’d never hugged him before.

Not back then, not now. She was so short, but so full of warmth. Slowly, Seth’s arms settled around her too, careful not to hug her too tightly. Careful not to push her in, toward his chest.

He didn’t want her to feel the way his heart had exploded.

Too quickly, she pulled away, grinning.

“I’ll see you Saturday, it’s a date!” she exclaimed, voice carrying down the streets. As it always did.

He watched as she sauntered down her street and turned a corner, out of sight, and never hated so much in his life how she had to be the one to leave him, when all he wanted to do was follow her.

It’s a date.