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BOOTS AND BITCHING PODCAST

What's shaking, Sagebrush Creek? Your favorite boots-on-the-ground bitch is back with another pour of piping-hot tea. Y’all trust me, this cup is steeped in scandal.

So grab your drink, slip off those dusty boots, and settle in, because the drama around here ages better than a barrel of bourbon.

First up, we’re headed to my favorite destination.

I knew them Kingridge boys couldn’t keep quiet for long.

But today we’re talking about good old Geoffrey.

He might wear the calm, cool, collected crown, but honey, the man couldn't pick a woman if you handed him a lineup and a detailed instruction manual.

Remember when I mentioned that little cheating scandal a while back?

I’m not one to gossip. But sugar, this isn’t just a whisper on the wind anymore.

It's been confirmed with a capital C. Geoffrey's ex didn't just wander off.

She packed up her dignity, her lipstick, and her morals, then walked right into someone else's bed. And stayed there. Oof.

Now I'm not saying the man doesn't deserve love, Lord knows we all do. But maybe he needs to stop dating women who list "chaos" and "daddy issues" as their primary love languages.

He’s the only one of two Kingridge brothers left unmarried.

Geoffrey and Holden’s bachelor windows are slamming shut faster than the Methodist church doors during a tornado warning.

Tick-tock, cowboys. The cowgirls in this town are saddling up to compete for the final spots in the Kingridge dynasty.

Speaking of chaos, Patty June is out and about again.

She’s swishing around town like she owns half of it and has a lease on the rest. But a little birdy told me that she's been banned from the library's book club for turning their Jane Austen discussions into her own personal matchmaking service. Girl, this ain’t “Farmer Wants A Wife.”

And let's not even start on what went down at Bingo Night. All I'll say is this… if you hear yelling, smell industrial-strength hairspray, and see someone wielding a dauber like a weapon, it's best to clear the premises immediately. Old large Marge ain’t playing.

Now onto the biggest shocker of all… There’s nothing but radio silence from Mayor Randolph Bellcourt. I know, I know. I gasped too. But it seems ever since his darling daughter and his ex-wife tangled themselves into the Kingridge family tree, our beloved mayor's been oddly... domesticated.

Y’all know I’ve got my ear to the ground. But I tell you, there ain’t nothing to hear. No backdoor deals, no dramatic speeches at town hall meetings, not even a late-night "private consultation” with a questionable constituent.

Maybe it's just the calm before the storm, but I've lived in this town long enough to know one thing… When Randolph Bellcourt goes quiet, something big is brewing.

The rest of y'all can pretend everything's picture-perfect in our little slice of paradise. But let me remind you, I see the cracks in the fresh paint. Lord knows I see the lipstick stains on the starched collars.

You keep living your country life and I’ll keep loving every minute of it. I promise you this, I don’t miss a damn thing. Until next time, stay salty, stay shady, and stay tuned.

This is your favorite bitch with boots on the ground, signing off.