Page 25

Twenty-Three

I wanted Adam to make himself at home.

I felt an immense sense of pride in my humble little abode.

For the first time I actually felt grown up, that now if I had friends over it wasn’t merely to lead them past my parents and into my room where the walls were so paper-thin I couldn’t have my music up too loud, and we would have to keep our laughter down.

Nope, none of that. I led Adam down the garden path, both hands free thanks to Adam grabbing my bag for me.

I could feel a slight tremor in my hands as I worked on shuffling through the keys to find the right one to unlock the security door, ever aware that Adam was standing behind me, looking over my shoulder, making me even more clumsy.

God, get a grip, Ellie.

Finally mastering the lock, I pulled open the security door and unlocked the thick Brunswick Green front door with ease.

“Welcome to Chateau Parker,” I announced, plunging on the hall switch to light up the narrow dingy space. I chucked my keys on the table near the door. My next instinct was to take off my shoes, and bra, but thought better of the latter.

“Make yourself at home,” I said, casually pulling my hair out of my high ponytail and gloriously massaging my scalp. I turned to see Adam looking at me, watching me with an air of amusement in the doorway.

“So are you going to give me the grand tour?”

“I don’t know. Can you spare a minute and a half of your life?”

Adam smiled. “For you, I’ll give you three.”

I laughed, taking my bag from him. “Follow me.” I led him down the narrow hall, pausing to put on another light to unveil the lounge area, the biggest part of the flat.

There wasn’t much natural light that made its way through to the living areas, so despite the navy lounge, the rest of the space was accented with bright, cheery colours highlighted in the cushions and artwork.

Adam took in the scene. “I feel like I’m standing in an Ikea catalogue.”

“They’re my greatest sponsors,” I said with pride. “Through there is the tiniest kitchen in the world. And if you head this way you can see the tiniest bathroom in the world, that strangely enough has the biggest shower in the world, if that makes sense.”

By the time we reached my room my arm was ready to fall off.

Dumping my bag inside the doorway, Adam followed suit without even asking where to put his stuff.

Despite this all being unfamiliar to him he seemed very comfortable in my tiny flat.

He pushed past me, throwing himself onto my new queen bed.

My bed that was littered with tossed clothes from my manic packing episode.

My bedroom was worse than my childhood bedroom and despite all the mess, I really did have a lovely new bed.

Adam linked his hands behind his head, smiling smugly. “I love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Oh, shut up,” I snapped, picking up clothes and dumping them on my chair in an attempt to commit to neatness. “I wasn’t exactly expecting company.”

“Ellie.”

I dumped the last of the pile, blowing out a breath to part my fringe. “What?” I said, placing my hands on my hips, feeling all frazzled.

Adam’s face was alight, his dark eyes sparkling. “It’s me.” He pulled himself up, shifting forward to sit on the edge of the bed. “You don’t have to impress me.”

But I wanted to.

It was important that Adam saw me in a different light than Ellie from Onslow, the one he had known all his life, the one whose secrets he knew; well, almost all of them, as my eyes shifted to the bedside table to where my 1999 diary sat.

Oh God.

Adam followed my eyeline to where my diary sat. “What’s this?” He cocked his brow, leaning over and grabbing the book.

“Adam, no.” I leapt to grab the diary but he was too fast; he had snatched it from my bedside and was standing, holding it up out of my reach as I desperately tried to scramble to grab it, Adam moving from side to side. Torturing me like only he knew how.

“Anything juicy inside?”

“Adam, come on, this isn’t funny.” My pleas were desperate, frantic.

The last thing I needed him to do was flip open to where the ribbon divided the very page I couldn’t let him see.

Even at a fleeting glimpse you wouldn’t have to have 20/20 vision to see the big bold letters of ‘TELL ADAM HENDERSON I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM.’

“So there is something good in here?”

“Adam, please, give it back.”

I was beside myself when Adam went to bring the diary down, to possibly open it, so I did the only thing I could do. I sucker-punched him in the ribs, winding him so bad he let go of the diary and fell back onto the bed, grabbing his side and wincing in pain.

“Bloody hell, Ellie, why’d you do that?”

I grabbed the diary, clutching it to my chest like a shield, cringing at Adam who was coiled on my mattress trying to gain his breath.

“I’m sorry but—”

“Christ, there must be something really good in there,” he gritted, steadying himself.

Maybe it was the adrenalin coursing through my body, but it had been far too close a call. I was relieved, but I was angry.

“So what? I have to tell you everything and you tell me nothing?” I accused, the words falling from my mouth minus my edit button.

Adam paused, looking at me, really looking at me as if taken aback by my outburst.

I clenched the diary so hard the edges dug into my palms. I don’t know what gave me the courage; maybe the diary really was acting like a shield. I stepped forward, looking down at Adam; I felt breathless, my heart racing at a million miles an hour.

“What is it, Adam? What is it that you can tell everyone else but me?”

Did he have a girlfriend? Was it Megsy? Was he re-enlisting in the army? Leaving Onslow for good? What the hell was it?

“Adam.” I said his name like a plea. I didn’t know what I would do if he didn’t tell me, couldn’t trust me enough to confide in me whatever it was he wanted to say. The future of our friendship rested so much on his response.

Adam lifted his eyes to mine; they were cast in a serious shadow that made my blood run cold. Something was wrong; I could sense it in the way he swallowed and broke his eyes away from mine, motioning his head to the space next to him.

“You better sit.”