Page 14

Twelve

I crawled back into bed, having left the lamp on for Adam to avoid a repeat of his rather disastrous earlier entrance.

I snuggled down under the covers. My heart was pounding, which was ridiculous; I couldn’t count all the times I had stayed in this room, in this bed.

Crashing here because I was too drunk to navigate my way home.

No one even questioned it. My parents never worried if I stayed at the Onslow, no one even blinked an eye.

It was just Adam and Ellie, and it had been that way all our lives.

The only thing that changed now was my heart was beating faster, and I was extremely aware I was in Adam’s bed, his double bed that suddenly felt really small.

Never had I so much as flinched or overthought the feel of him pressed up against me, but now I was terrified, terrified by the unpredictable emotions that were warring inside me.

My thoughts were interrupted by Adam’s whistling down the hall; I couldn’t help but laugh, envisioning Max tossing and turning in his bed, cursing him.

Adam twisted the door handle, stepping inside dressed in only his boxers and a towel draped around his shoulders.

His hair was damp and messy. My heart did a funny little backflip anytime I saw it that way.

Adam pottered around like I wasn’t there; after all, I was here so often I was almost like an integral piece of furniture.

He placed his watch on his dresser, rubbed at his damp tendrils vigorously before flicking the towel from his shoulders onto the back of the chair.

I watched each and every predictable movement, knowing what was going to happen before he even did.

The last ritual was to dive onto the bed, deliberately bouncing it to annoy me before ripping the covers from me.

“You quite right?”

Adam only grinned, leaning over me to click the light off. My eyes were wide, his chest crushed against my face. I had to think ugly thoughts.

Think ugly thoughts.

Rolling back onto his side I let out a breath I didn’t even realise I was holding. Now in the dark and the bed not overly big enough for the both of us, Adam’s body lay right next to mine, skin to skin. It was something so natural for ‘us’ but at the same time not natural at all, not for me.

The darkness we were swallowed up in only intensified the silence, which was usually comfortable but tonight it seemed strained and drawn out.

“So, Megsy Swanston, huh?” The words fell out before I had a chance to stop them. I couldn’t just leave well enough alone.

“Yeah, blast from the past,” he yawned out.

I was cursing myself on so many levels to bring this up now. It was something I really wanted to be able to read in Adam’s face, in his reactions. Not lying here in the dark, on the edge of sleep.

I twisted onto my side toward Adam, resting my head on my hand.

“Where did you run into her?” I tried to keep my voice light, matter of fact, when I felt anything but.

“Her mum’s pretty good friends with my mum, so that’s how I found out she was back in town.”

Strike that, it was probably just as well that we were in the dark; it would hide the scowl plastered across my face.

“Cool,” I managed. I thought if I kept my replies brief it would be less aggressive.

“Yeah, she’s a good egg.”

Yeah, a good egg that broke your heart, Adam Henderson.

I kind of wished I had a quick access and reference point to my old diaries, flipping to the day Adam was a heartbroken sixteen-year-old.

It had been the one very rare moment I’d seen a different Adam walk toward me in the schoolyard—his downcast figure had made his way toward me with shoulders hunched, absentmindedly kicking the dirt as he walked as though he bore the whole weight of the world on his shoulders.

I had instantly known there was something wrong.

The Adam I knew walked as if bouncing on his toes—he had such a spring in his step—he was always grinning, or whistling or giving cheek to anyone that passed him within earshot, but that day, the day Megsy Swanston broke up with him, was a day my heart had broken too.

If I hadn’t disliked her already, I damn well hated her then.

Having seen Adam’s spirit crushed and shininess reflected in his eyes, I took it upon myself to march through the yard after school, toward where I knew she would be, waiting for the bus to take her to her little hippy commune of a home.

I was going to give her a piece of my mind, tear shreds off her for being such a heartless bitch.

But by the time I got there she was gone, and I never saw her again until tonight, never got to be the true friend to Adam I had wanted to be, even though I knew he would have hated me getting involved.

Infuriatingly, he never said a bad word about her, always defended her anytime I had something snide to say.

I was so frustrated by his attitude I quickly learnt not to bother, to just be happy she was out of our lives for good.

Until now.

I wanted to ask a million questions; my nervous, rambling thoughts kept me occupied from thinking too deeply about other things, but when my incessant talking about how much I couldn’t wait to see Tess’s face, and how good it felt to be home, and some things just never change and did he think that …

Wait.

I paused, listening to the deep draw in and out of Adam’s breathing, the sound of complete and utterly contented sleeping.

I smiled, a calmness settling over me listening to the sound.

I snuggled in deeper, feeling the heat of Adam next to me, so close I could almost feel his breath, and I wondered how I could ever have been anything other than happy to be here, next to him.

Megsy might be back on the scene but I was the girl in his bed; sure, the platonic, best friend in his bed, but if this weekend was a time to change that, to lay down the challenge and come to realise that the secrets I had been keeping about my feelings had to stop, then so be it.

Maybe it was the darkness that was lending me the bravery to turn my thoughts around, but there was something that went off inside my mind like a light switch.

If there were to be another Megsy, things would change.

There would be no more of this, and the very reality of that filled me with such horror, because for the life of me I couldn’t imagine an existence without this impossible boy by my side.

I stared at Adam’s sleeping profile, barely visible in the shadows, and I could feel tears form in my eyes.

I love you, Adam Henderson .

And just like that, I was reminded of his words from last night. “This weekend you belong to me.” Well, Adam Henderson, we belong to each other, but you just don’t know it yet.

I awoke with a new determination, a new fire in my belly, aided by the fact that Adam’s arm was slung over my shoulder, pinning me in place.

It was a nice arm, smattered with hair, leading up to his muscles, something that Adam had returned home with before Christmas.

The army had been good to him, had given him the discipline and training he needed, plus sweet, sweet abs that were not lost on me.

I really didn’t want to move, I could have stayed there forever.

Then it occurred to me: the Ellie of old would have pushed his arm off and elbowed him and abused him for being a bed hog, but last night I hadn’t said a word.

I’d welcomed all invasion of space. I may have even invaded his, and he’d never once pushed me away.

Aside from a zinger of a headache from the devil’s brew I’d guzzled last night, I had never felt more alive.

I slowly peeled Adam’s arm off me, sliding out of bed not for any other necessity than really needing the bathroom.

I tiptoed to the door, biting my bottom lip, wincing at the unoiled hinges that seemed to haunt every single doorway of the old hotel.

Tentatively opening it and sliding out into the hall, I continued my tiptoeing along the seventies-swirled carpet to the bathroom, twisting the handle and pushing, only to thud against the thick wooden door.

“Oh, no-no-no, come on.” I jiggled the door handle.

I hadn’t even heard the shower. I only heard Max’s voice.

“Enter at own risk,” he yelled out.

“No, thanks,” I yelled through the door. “You going to be long?”

“I’ll be right out, after I cleanse, tone, and moisturise.”

Ugh, Max used to be the nice one, but hanging with the Onslow Boys smart-arse-humour seemed to have rubbed off on him; well, two can play at that game.

“Okay, open the door then.”

“What?” Max said in a rather high-pitched voice.

“Come on, cover up your bits; I’m coming in.”

“Ah, no, you’re not.”

“Don’t think I don’t have access to a key; I know people.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

My brow curved.

Challenge accepted.

Max started to sing, ‘Come and get your Love’ in the secure privacy of his little shower.

I made a direct, determined line to Chris’s apartment, banging on the door, caring little what the time was. I was on a mission.

The door flung open. Tammy answered, dressed in her customary Lycra tank and three-quarter pants; of course she was up, she was always going on freakish runs in the morning.

“Hello, sunshine, seems like you’ve risen nice and early.”

Shifting from one foot to the next, first things first. “Tam, can I please use your toilet, Max is being a dick.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she said, standing aside and letting me in.

I ran in tiny little steps, barely raising a hand to Chris who sat in his boxers at the table eating breakfast. Must have been a Henderson boy thing, hanging out in boxers.

Awkward.

I had to act fast, and once I had gained back all reasonable thought, I opened the bathroom door.

“Thanks,” I said sheepishly. “You’re a life saver.”

Chris studied me with his usual serious eyes from his cereal bowl. “Seems like you’re always bolting to a toilet.”

Tammy’s head snapped around. “Oh my God, Ellie, you’re not preggers, are you?”

“Wait, what?” I croaked.

“I’m not hearing this,” said Chris, who quickly grabbed his bowl and headed toward the kitchen.

“I’m NOT pregnant,” I called out after him. “Jesus, that’s how rumours start.”

Tammy smirked, shrugging. “Sorry, it’s just, you know—”

“Yeah, well, wash your mouth out.” I laughed.

Not only was I not with child, but it would have been a bloody miracle seeing as in order to have a baby you kind of needed to have sex, and that pleasure had eluded me for some time now, for a rather depressingly long time.

But there were some things that just weren’t meant to be discussed.

I headed toward the door. “I know you’ve probably just had breakfast, but do you want to have lunch?”

Tammy’s smile was blinding. “Yeah, I would love that.” Her eagerness made my black heart a little mushy.

Tammy and I hadn’t exactly gotten off on the right foot, but something told me, her being the only soul on this planet that knew about my feelings for Adam, I kind of needed a confidant, now more than ever.

“Cool, beer garden at twelve?”

“Sounds good.” She nodded, her light-brown ponytail swinging across her shoulder.

Chris leant in the alcove of the kitchen, his arms crossed over his bare chest, seemingly not in the least bit inhibited in his boxers, not that there was anything to be ashamed of.

Hot damn, these Henderson men were built well.

I tried to keep my eyes affixed to Chris’s face, despite his near-naked attire; the last thing I wanted was for my eyes to drag inappropriately.

I am sure Tammy would not appreciate that.

“Are boys allowed?”

“NO,” Tammy and I answered in unison, causing Chris’s brows to raise in surprise.

“Geez, okay, I can take a hint.”

Tammy pouted. “Sorry, girls only.”

Chris smirked. “Subtle you were not.”

And then there I was, stuck between the goo-goo eyes of a newly loved-up couple, where cutesy little looks were locked on one another and I felt like a third wheel; furthermore, they were delaying my mission. Time to break it up.

“Hey, Chris, can I borrow your hotel keys for a sec?”

Chris’s attention snapped sceptically toward me. “Why?” he asked, uncertain.

“I’ll hand them straight back, I just need to do something in the main bathroom.”

Okay, saying it like that really didn’t sound great, and seriously, what was with me and bathrooms?

Chris must have thought the exact same thing as he kind of looked at me like I was crazy. He went to the front door, unhooking the set and handing them over to me with a dark stare.

“These are a boomerang,” he said, ensuring he said it before actually setting them into my palm.

“Promise; actually, wait on the landing and I’ll chuck them right back,” I said, making my way out the door. Tammy and Chris followed, lured by curiosity.

Never was I more pleased to hear the joyous, muffled sound of Max’s song under the shower as I neared the door.

I flipped through the keys, holding up the one that looked like the best fit.

I showed Chris with raised brows. He simply nodded, a deep frown pinched on his brow as he looked on, half disturbed with what I was about to do. Tammy simply stood, mouth agape.

I slotted the key into the lock, clicking it until I heard the magical unlocking sound. I wasn’t the only one that seemed to hear, as Max’s singing abruptly cut off.

“Hey, I’m in here,” he shouted in a panic.

I ignored him, simply barging through, taking no notice of the soapy, flesh-coloured blur scrambling in my peripheral vision.

“Ellie, what the fuck?” he yelled.

“Oops, sorry,” I sing-songed, grabbing for my makeup bag and ensuring to flush the toilet on the way out. I slammed the bathroom door just enough to muffle the pained screams of Max’s shower being plunged into cold water induced by the toilet.

“I’m going to get you for this, Parker!”

I threw my keys across the landing where Tammy managed to catch them much more successfully than Chris could have, seeing as he was laughing hysterically.

“Thanks, guys.”

Chris shook his head. “Anytime. Any. Time.”