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“What do I do, Nora?” I begged her. I was lying on my side, curled up on the covers of my bed.

Tell me. What do I do?

Nora sat by my side, brushing my hair from my forehead as if I were a sick child. I had told her everything. Confessed everything. The things I knew were too big, too swollen to keep inside me. I’d burst if I did.

I was so twisted up in my thoughts, like rope around my body, that I could not see a way to untangle myself. I could not cut my way out.

Should I hate Roman for killing my friend? My friend that would have killed him, the man I love. Or should I vilify my partner, who killed Roman’s friend? If I wished that Espinoza were still alive, it would be wishing Roman dead. Roman’s death would mean a death of me, too. How could I give thanks that Roman lived if Espinoza was dead?

Nora took my hand and patted it. “The only question you need to ask yourself is…how much do you love him?”

“What does love have to do with anything?”

“Love has everything to do with everything.”

I pushed myself up to sitting and sniffed. “I don’t understand.”

Nora smiled. “My girl.” She wiped my cheeks. “Love forgives. Love accepts. If you love Roman, truly love him…go to him.”

“But he’s gone.” I sent him away. Why did I send the keeper of my heart away? Why did I banish my only joy?

Nora gripped me with a strength that I didn’t know she had. “Then don’t stop looking until you find him.”