Page 18
"Yeah," I said, nodding. "Sure, we could do that."
Ricky must've sensed my reluctance to do anything but sleep and count down the minutes until I could leave again because he dropped his gaze to the floor and shrugged, defeated.
"I mean, we don't have to. I just thought—"
"No, it's okay. We can. I'm just …" I sighed, stuffing my hands into my pockets. "I'm still tired, I guess."
He nodded like he understood. "Oh, yeah, I get that. Well, we could just go for a little bit and come back. Maybe stay for an hour or so, say hi to some people, and get out of there."
I agreed, mostly for his benefit than mine. But underneath my lack of desire to go, there was also the slightest bit of hope that I'd see someone. A certain girl. One I'd turned down and left brokenhearted .
One who had said she’d hate me forever, but maybe … just maybe … in the time I’d been gone … she’d changed her mind.
***
And there she was.
Ricky had called Molly, just as he’d said he would, and we had taken his car down to McDonald's to meet up with her. And now she was walking through the door.
Laura followed close behind.
Ricky's elbow jabbed me in the ribs, and I sat up a little taller. I wasn't sure what I should expect from this. Hell, I wasn't even sure why she'd come at all, but I was so glad that she had.
"Max!" Molly squealed, running over to throw her arms around my neck.
"Hey, Molly," I said, returning the hug while my eyes sought out Laura's.
"So, how's the Army?" Molly asked, rounding the table to drop into Ricky's lap. "Your arms look nice. Right, Laura? Doesn't Max look good?"
I tried not to smile as Molly had obviously tried to toss a bone in my corner.
We had been friends during my senior year, sure, but we’d never been incredibly close.
Her efforts now were appreciated though.
I wasn't sure I could say the same for Laura, who only dropped into the seat across from me and folded her arms against the table without once looking up to meet my eye .
"He looks all right, I guess," she replied coolly, shrugging one shoulder with painful nonchalance. "Not sure about the hair though."
"Are you kidding me?" Molly gawked at her friend as she reached over to run her palm over the top of my head. "The boy is a freakin' soldier , and it is working for him."
I laughed, feeling the telltale heat of a blush blooming across my cheeks. "Thanks, I think."
Laura cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, pulling her folded arms closer to her chest as she turned to look out into the restaurant.
I tipped my head, trying to follow her gaze, trying to catch her eye somehow.
But her avoidance was intentional, and I wondered again why she had bothered to come.
"Hey," I whispered, pushing my foot forward to nudge hers.
She sighed audibly, giving her head a little irritable shake. "Hi," she murmured on a breath.
"I'm glad you came."
Laura rolled her eyes to mine, looking unamused. "I didn't exactly have a choice. Molly made me."
Molly snorted. "Oh, right, sure. And I made you get dressed and do your makeup too, right?"
Ricky chuckled at that and murmured under his breath, "Busted."
Laura turned away again, and I said, "I guess you're still mad at me, huh?"
She swallowed and bit the corner of her lip before replying, "Oh, no, Max. Why would I be mad? "
"I can think of a few reasons. But I was kinda hoping that, since you're here anyway, maybe you could … I don't know … maybe not be so mad. Just for a little while."
All of a sudden, she looked like she wanted to cry. I couldn't stand that she wanted to cry. I couldn't stand that I could have that effect on her … again .
She blew out a shaky breath. "I hate you forever though, remember?"
"How could I forget?"
"Oh, I don't know, Max. You left , so I thought—"
Ricky coughed awkwardly and nudged Molly. "Hey, babe, uh … you wanna go grab milkshakes with me?"
Molly tore her attention from Laura’s and my emotional exchange to quickly nod. "Oh, right, yeah. Let's do that. Um, do you guys want anything?"
“No,” Laura replied heatedly at the same time that I stammered, “Y-yeah, sure,” while never taking my eyes off of her.
“What flavor?” Ricky muttered, already sliding out of the booth.
I huffed a sigh and grunted, “Uh … vanilla.”
“You got it, bud,” he said, clapping a hand against my shoulder before quickly escorting his girlfriend to the counter.
Then I was alone with Laura for the first time since prom. All at once, I could hear the chewing from two tables away, the tapping of keys at the register, the laughter from a group of kids near the entrance, but nothing was louder than the silence between this girl and me .
She could hardly look in my direction, could hardly sit still, and after just a few seconds, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Why did you even come tonight?”
She shrugged and turned her lips into a scowl. “Molly made me.”
“Bullshit, Laura,” I said, making her flinch with language I had seldom used in the past. “You’ve never had a problem saying no before. So, why the hell did you come?”
She gave her head a little shake and said, “I don’t know. I—"
“You wanted to be a brat? You wanted to torture me? You could’ve just stayed home, and I would’ve gotten the message loud and clear. You—"
“Oh my God,” she huffed irritably, looking at me. “I wanted to see you, okay?!”
I narrowed my eyes, confused. “But you said you hated me. Why—"
“I want to hate you,” she said, sounding so angry that I couldn’t stand it. “I wish I could hate you. But—"
“But what?”
She wilted with a sigh and scrubbed a hand over her eyes that now seemed so tired. “I can’t. I tried. For months, I tried to hate you. But I can’t .”
A strange cocktail of hope and disappointment crowded together in my chest, squeezing against my heart and taking up too much space.
I wanted her to hate me. I wanted her to make things easier for when I inevitably left again and again and again.
I didn’t want to know she was out there somewhere, pining for me, waiting for me to come back.
And yet … I did . It felt good that she had spent these months thinking about me, wishing I were here, wanting me back.
God, it felt good to be wanted .
It felt wrong and selfish, but I loved it, too, and I couldn’t help that. Not when I was unwelcome in my own family’s home. I needed to be wanted .
Especially now, as I sat across from her and saw that hope in my heart now reflected in her eyes.
And I knew we could never be more than just this, and I knew I would leave again in just a couple of days, and whenever I did come back, I’d leave again.
But these fleeting little moments together, for as long as I could have them …
Right now, they felt like they could be enough.
Table of Contents
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- Page 17
- Page 18 (Reading here)
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