Page 12

On the front lawn of the school was a fountain.

Sometimes, students hung out there after school to make out or read or study.

I had never done any of those things. I’d never been able to spare the time.

But tonight was different, and when I found Laura sitting on the concrete edge, her focus on the rippling water below, I took my chance to sit beside her.

The fountain edge was wet from the water’s spray, and I shifted at the unpleasant feeling of my pants soaking through to my boxers.

“You guys like sitting out here? My ass is wet ,” I complained in jest.

Laura didn’t laugh. She just sighed.

So, I did too.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I said.

She swallowed and shook her head at the water.

“I didn’t want to upset you. I didn’t want you to talk me out of it. ”

That got her attention, and she turned quickly to stare at me, shooting daggers directly into my heart.

“Is that what you thought I’d do? You thought I’d talk you out of it? Or were you worried you’d talk yourself out of it after you shattered my fucking heart?”

There it was again. Someone talking about her heart and how it was broken.

I didn’t mean to roll my eyes or make light of what she was saying, but that was exactly what I did. “Laura, come—"

“Oh my God, Max! You seriously don’t get it, do you? You really have no idea.”

My brow crumpled as I shook my head. “No idea about what?”

To my horror, her eyes flooded with tears and spilled over as she shouted at me, “I love you!”

I squeezed my eyes shut to her tears and agonized expression and pinched the bridge of my nose. “You … what ? You can’t— what ?”

I was reeling. Unable to comprehend what she was saying or why she was saying it. How could she love me? Why would she? What had I done to let that happen, and why the hell hadn’t I stopped it?

Jesus, she could’ve warned me!

“You know what? Never mind,” she grumbled angrily, sniffling.

She stood from the fountain, and I snapped my eyes open to watch her walk away. A part of me, somewhere deep within and untouched, ached desperately. Was that how she felt? Was that why she didn’t want me to go ?

“Where are you going?” I called after her, hurrying to my feet and storming in the direction she was heading.

“Home,” Laura huffed, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

“What? You can’t go home. You—"

Spinning on her heel, she pinned me with a fiery glare.

A drop of rain landed on the bridge of my nose. Great , I thought. That’s exactly what we need. For it to freakin’ rain.

“You do not get to tell me what to do,” Laura spit through gritted teeth, jabbing her finger at my chest. “I don’t belong to you. I’m not yours . You’ve made that perfectly clear.”

I shook my head as a drop landed on my shoulder, then another and another. “You don’t want me, Laura.”

“Oh, shut up, Max.” She dismissed me with a wave of her hand before crossing her arms tightly over her chest.

I took a step toward her. “I am leaving,” I stated.

“That is happening. I have to. And I can’t take you with me.

So, like I said, you don’t want me. You don’t want to belong to someone who can’t give you more than …

” I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. Tonight.

A week maybe. You deserve more than that. ”

Her chest lifted and fell with a heavy breath. She worked her jaw from side to side, her eyes searching the night sky, as if it could offer her a sufficient response. The perfect screw you before storming off, like she’d intended.

“And why don’t I get a say in this?” she finally asked, still unable to look at me.

“I— "

She silenced me with her steely glare, aimed in my direction so fast that I nearly choked on nothing but my own breath.

“Maybe I want tonight or a week. Maybe I want whatever you can give me.”

“And what if I don’t want to give that to you?” Because what if it’s not enough? What if I want more?

“Then I will hate you forever,” she stated with finality. “I will never talk to you again. I won’t sit with you at lunch. I won’t wave at you in the hall. I won’t even think about you because it would hurt too much.”

She stared into my eyes with a fiery anger that just barely covered the sadness beneath. And I knew she meant every word. I hoped she did. Because I nodded, my decision already made, and stuffed my hands into my pockets.

“Okay,” I whispered, holding her gaze. “Hate me forever.”

Her lips parted softly with surprise and so much heartbreak that I swore I heard the sound of her heart shattering over the trickling fountain behind us. Then she realized I was serious, that I wasn’t budging from my stance, and her lips—the lips I wanted so badly to kiss again—pressed closed.

She nodded, turned around, and began to walk.

“Come on,” she said.

“What?”

“You told my father you’d walk me home. So, let’s go. ”

We walked in silence for six blocks, a distance I wished had been filled with holding hands and sneaking kisses behind trees.

But this is for the best , I kept telling myself.

It was best for her , and I hoped, eventually, she would see that, while I ignored what I thought was best for me.