Page 22

Sophie

‘When can we see each other next?’ I whispered as I fastened my bra.

I managed to wrestle my T-shirt and hoodie over my head and pulled on my shorts, but Adam still hadn’t replied. His arms were flung over his eyes; we both fell back to sleep after the alarm went off on my phone.

‘Adam?’ I hissed. ‘I need to go! We’ve slept in.’

I’d sneaked in late last night and planned to leave before 5 a.m. as his mum often took their dog for an early walk on the beach. I’d wanted to fit in a surf before waitressing the breakfast shift at the Burgh Island hotel, but it was five forty-five already.

‘Hmmm. What?’ He removed his hands, rubbing his eyes. ‘Sorry. Tomorrow night? No, wait... Mum and Dad are taking me out to dinner to celebrate...’

‘Being a shoo-in for Cambridge.’ I finished his sentence, hunting for my socks on the floor. ‘You’re cracking open the champagne early.’

I felt a small, envious ache in my chest. My mum led an Italian yoga retreat in May and I returned to an empty house after most of my exams. But Adam regularly cycled or drove over to give me one of his ‘famous’ hugs.

He also dropped off carrot cake. His parents had supported him throughout his A levels.

They didn’t need to wait to see his grades next month: his place at Trinity College was practically guaranteed.

Adam was never in danger of flunking anything . Unlike me .

‘I could come over when you’re back from dinner? Or any day except Friday –we’re having birthday drinks at work.’

‘Can I let you know?’ Adam said. ‘Mum’s invited my aunt and uncle to stay and they’re bringing their tribe of kids. It’ll make overnights and days out trickier.’

‘Yeah, sure.’

This was probably a deliberate ploy by his parents to keep him occupied – and away from me –even though his exams were over and I couldn’t be accused of distracting him. I looked under the bed – Adam’s dumping ground – and snatched up the missing sock, pulling on my trainers.

When I turned around, he was holding out a small black-velvet box. My heart skipped a beat.

‘Yes, Adam! Of course I’ll marry you. Let’s elope to Vegas tonight.’

‘What?’ His face coloured. ‘I mean . . . perhaps, definitely sometime . . . in the future, possibly . . .’

‘I’m kidding!’

‘Ha ha! Open it.’

I flicked open the lid and gazed at a silver necklace with a smooth knot in the centre of the chain.

‘It’s beautiful. Thank you!’

‘Whatever happens after results day, I can’t imagine my life without you, Sophie. We’re like this Mobius strip: we’ll always be together.’

I touched the curved metal, frowning. What did he mean by whatever happens ? Fear flickered in my heart.

‘I had it made specially because the love knots in the jewellery shop weren’t mathematically correct,’ he continued. ‘This is our symbol.’

I pushed down my rising doubts.

‘I love it! Help me?’

Lifting my hair, I waited for him to fasten the pendant. The metal felt cool against my skin.

‘I meant what I said about us , I promise.’ He took my hand, placing it on his chest. I could feel his heart beating in time with mine as if we were one body, not two. ‘Or I could get a Mobius strip tattoo to prove it?’

‘Your parents would murder me . I want to live longer than eighteen, thanks!’

He laughed. ‘Shall I come downstairs with you? I mean... I can thwart any assassination attempts by Mum and Dad.’

‘No, go back to sleep.’

I kissed the hollow at the base of his throat, making him shudder, and worked my way up his neck to his lips.

‘Come back to bed!’ he whispered.

I longed to strip off and curl up beside him, feeling him kiss me tantalisingly slowly and then more passionately, as our urgency increased.

I was more experienced than him when we got together.

But he grew in confidence and often made me feel like it was my first time being naked with a boy.

Now, we were equals. We’d learned how to love each other’s bodies.

I shook my head, fighting off the temptation to have a replay of last night, or to just chat and laugh.

We could talk for hours about everything and nothing, and not run out of things to say.

Lying wrapped in his arms was where I felt happiest and safest.

‘I have to go. Call you later. Love you.’

‘Ditto!’

Quietly, I tiptoed down the stairs, past the photographs of Adam picking up awards for the Maths Olympiad and science challenges, and his dad’s achievements at various universities, including Cambridge.

Reaching the kitchen, I fumbled with the key in the back door.

‘It’s stiff. Let me get that for you.’

Holy shit!

I spun around. Adam’s mum stood behind me in her white towelling dressing gown, her dark brown bob pushed behind her ears.

Pickles, their geriatric terrier, padded into the room, sniffing at his food bowl.

The wooden clock above the fridge ticked loudly, the blue tiles behind the sink gleamed brightly.

‘I’m leaving,’ I told her.

‘I know. I heard you come downstairs. I’m a light sleeper. I have been ever since Adam was a child.’

She leaned past me and threw open the door. I attempted to make a quick exit, almost falling over in my hurry to get out.

‘I’m sorry, Mrs B.’

‘No, wait! Before you go, I wanted to say thank you.’

‘W-w-what for?’

This wasn’t how I expected her to react. I thought she’d flail my skin off before nailing my bleeding body to the outside wall. Or something less dramatic.

‘I misjudged you. I thought you’d try to change Adam’s mind and make him stay.’

‘We both want him to be happy,’ I said, picking my words carefully. ‘Being here in Bigbury wouldn’t do that, obviously.’

Surprise flickered across her face, followed by another emotion, before she rearranged her features. What was that? Shock? Fear?

‘My husband has huge ambitions for Adam, which can be hard to live up to. He’s done well not to buckle under the pressure. I think you’ve helped in that respect, so you have my utmost gratitude for supporting him these last few years. It’s meant a lot to him.’

‘Adam supports me ,’ I said quietly. ‘We love each other. Very much.’

She sighed. ‘I see that, but you’re both so young.’

‘I don’t think that makes any difference!’

‘Perhaps not now.’ She walked over to Pickles and bent down, patting him.

‘I understand you want to make the most of being together while you can, but please ask my permission if you want to stay overnight. Adam’s dad is old-fashioned about sleeping arrangements.

I’ll need to raise it ahead of time and talk him around. ’

Straightening, she flashed me a surprisingly warm smile. ‘Look after yourself, Sophie. I hope things work out for you. You deserve to be happy.’

‘Thank you, Mrs B.’

‘Goodbye.’

She closed the door behind me with a gentle click. I jumped on my bike and touched Adam’s necklace, trying to cling on to his parting words in the bedroom.

But as the distance between us grew, my confidence ebbed away like the tide lapping on the beach below.

I had the overwhelming feeling I was being permanently dismissed from all their lives.