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Colton:

See you tomorrow.

My eyes stayed locked on Colton’s last text as my mind pondered how rude it would be on a scale of one to ten, if I were to come up with a random excuse to avoid this confrontation, less than fifteen minutes before he got there.

Our conversation the previous night had barely lasted a few messages. After asking him if we could talk, I had quickly followed up with another text, saying that we could meet up at ‘the spot’ if he was free the next day.

It was officially the next day, and here I was, sitting with my legs folded, and my back against the tree trunk.

I wasn’t nervous per se. Well, that’s a lie. I was a nervous wreck; it got to a point that I ended up arriving thirty minutes earlier than we had decided on. This was just to give me ample time to work up the courage on what I wanted—no, needed—to say to Colton.

I wasn’t leaving until I got my words out to him.

But that didn’t mean I was looking forward to it.

Breathing out a sigh, I locked my phone and put it on top of my backpack, my hand accidentally brushing against the plastic bag containing two bubble tea cups.

Two bubble teas from our usual place.

I don’t know why I had decided to get them. But the moment I stepped out of the apartment, my feet were already heading to the bubble tea shop, before my mind could even register it. And now, here it was next to me, the plastic sticking to the cups caused by the condensation.

My hand itched to put a straw into one of them and take a sip, just so I had something else to focus on. But something about that just didn’t feel right. Ultimately, I decided to go back to my usual method to distract myself from the world.

Reading romance books.

Taking my copy of Bringing Down the Duke out of my bag, I willed it to whisk me away.

It did work for a moment, and I didn’t even realize someone was there until I heard a question being asked.

‘Is that a new book you’re reading?’

My head snapped up towards the sound of the familiar voice, the one I didn’t know I had been missing.

‘Colton,’ I called out, my voice soft. I quickly put down my book and tried to stand.

Seeing what I was doing, Colton held out his hand in front of me.

My eyes went to his offered hand, and to his face, which had a warm smile greeting me.

His gesture made me pause, remembering the last time he wanted to offer me his hand, and from the look on his face, he seemed to be thinking the same thing.

But before I could give him a chance to pull his hand back, I placed one of my own in his.

His eyes widened slightly at our clasped hands, before he slowly helped me up, his hold gentle.

And now here we were, standing face to face, as we let the silence envelop us.

Nervousness started to creep up on me once again as goosebumps prickled my arms. But it was the soft brushes on the back of my hand that helped me stay grounded and kept the fear at bay.

Bringing my eyes to our joined hands, I was met with the source of the gentle touches—Colton’s thumb. I didn’t even realize I was still holding his hand.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ he said, noticing what I was looking at.

I shook my head at him. ‘No.’

Colton eventually did stop, but he didn’t let go of my hand. From the delicate way he was holding it, I knew what he was trying to say.

He was letting me decide whether I wanted to continue holding his hand or drop it.

Making my decision, I gave it a gentle squeeze, letting my hand linger in his.

And because it was Colton, he got my message, and he gripped my hand even tighter.

‘Hey, partner,’ he then said, a small smile on his face.

‘Hey, partner,’ I repeated with a smile of my own, matching his.

We let the quiet surround us once again, as we held on to the comfort of one another.

Colton was the one who broke the silence. ‘I got you these, by the way.’

It was only then that I noticed that his other arm was tucked behind him, hidden from me, until he pulled it forward, showing me what it was.

It was a bunch of pink flowers: a variety of them, wrapped with cellophane wrap and tied together at the stems—the same way it had been the last time he gave me flowers.

Using my unoccupied hand, I reached out to them, accepting his wonderful gift.

‘Thank you,’ I held it closer to my nose and inhaled its floral scent. ‘But what’s the occasion?’ I teased.

‘I guess you could say they’re apology flowers,’ he shrugged.

‘I felt bad about what happened on Wednesday. And I know giving you flowers doesn’t make up for the fact that I missed our ASL practice, but I don’t know,’ he continued, his voice shrinking towards the end, ‘giving you flowers just felt right to me.’

Upon hearing his words, my eyes immediately shifted to meet his, only to find them looking at the ground instead, as if in embarrassment of his sweet gesture. But he shouldn’t have, and I realized I needed to let him know that.

‘Colton,’ I called out, willing him to look at me. And when he finally did, I said, ‘Thank you.’

A small hint of a smile appeared on his face. ‘You’re welcome.’

‘And plus. The flowers in my apartment were starting to wilt, so this couldn’t have come at a better time,’ I said, lighting up the tension from what the weight of his words had left behind.

He let out a small laugh. ‘Glad I could help.’

‘And oh! I got you something too,’ I exclaimed, remembering I had brought gifts of my own. I pulled my hand away from his, and went to put the lovely flowers on top of my backpack. Grabbing the handle of the plastic bag, I offered it to Colton. ‘Here you go.’

Surprise flickered on his face as his hand reached out for the plastic bag, and he peeked to see what was inside.

‘Bubble tea,’ he stated, seemingly needing no explanation for it but I gave him one anyway.

‘Think of it as a peace offering,’ I explained, ‘for what happened between us last week.’

‘But why are there two of them?’

‘You didn’t think I would get one for you, without getting one for myself, did you?’ I said, my voice teasing as I repeated the words he had said to me not too long ago. The smile on my face was evident as I voiced out the next sentence. ‘Plus, someone once told me that bubble tea is our thing.’

Emphasizing the ‘is’—present tense.

His lips tugged into a small smile. But the glow of happiness started to dim slightly, as his smile was replaced by a frown. ‘I feel like I should be getting you bubble tea since I messed up.’

‘You already got me flowers,’ I reassured him.

‘I could’ve gotten you both.’

‘Colton,’ I said softly. ‘You didn’t—’

He cut me off. ‘Can I say something first?’

I let out a heavy exhale, preparing myself for what he had to say. ‘Sure.’

Putting down the bag of bubble tea next to my bag, Colton took a deep breath once he stood back up. He made sure to put all his attention on me.

‘I know what I did—or accidentally did—on Wednesday was a jerk move. I just want to explain what happened on my side,’ he started.

‘I’ve been pulling a few all-nighters lately with some of my assignments, and when one of my classes on Wednesday got cancelled, I thought I would take a nap and catch up on some sleep.

I just didn’t realize how tired I was, when I slept through my alarm.

Unfortunately, it led me to miss the ASL class and our practice session. ’

Now that he pointed it out, I did notice the circles under his eyes were slightly darker than when I had seen him last. My heart clenched a bit at the sight, for he really did look tired.

‘I know it sounds like a lame excuse, and I should’ve texted you earlier than I did about it.

But—’ Colton broke off. ‘Shit, I just panicked, you know? We were already not on good terms, and the whole thing just came at the worst timing possible. I can only imagine how it must have looked from your side. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry for what happened on Wednesday.

Regardless of what happened the last time we were here.

’ His eyes wandered to our surroundings.

‘We’re still partners for ASL class, and I won’t take that for granted. ’

I stayed quiet as I let his words hang in the air between us, understanding the hidden meaning of what he was trying to say.

Colton was offering me one final out, to let our last in-person conversation become just a memory.

He didn’t say it out loud, but I knew what he meant.

He promised not to bring it up again, and that we could go back to being what we were before this rough patch in our friendship.

Back to safe territory.

Back to being friends.

All I needed to do was step back.

But I was done hiding.

‘Can I talk now?’ I said.

He gave me a nod. ‘Sure.’

‘I kept thinking about what you said,’ I started, ‘the last time we were here—about me being scared of this thing between us.’

He winced. ‘I was completely out of line saying that.’

‘I mean, you were a little bit out of line,’ I agreed sheepishly.

‘But you were right. I am scared. I always thought I was open to the idea of love and relationships, but that’s not true.

I keep finding reasons to push people away, before anything serious can happen.

But when it came to you, I couldn’t find it in me to look for one, because even if there was any, it wouldn’t have mattered.

That scared me,’ I told him, my voice shaky.

‘I like you, Colton. A lot. And I know I hurt you the last time we were here, but I think that was just my defence mechanism kicking in, before I even realized what it was,’ I said.

‘And I’m really sorry for hurting you the way that I did.

You are a star athlete, but you’re also so much more than that to me. And I just wanted you to know that.’

I kept my eyes on his face throughout my monologue. But the heavy look on Colton’s face was just too much for me to handle after everything I had laid out. I darted them to the baseball field behind him instead, then to my shoes—anywhere but his face.

‘So, does that mean you’ll go on a date with me?’

My eyes immediately snapped up to his upon hearing his question.

‘What?’ I said, thinking I heard him wrong.

He gave me a small smile and signed the question to me, the same way he asked me the last time we were here. He voiced it out loud again, ‘Do you want to go on a date with me?’

I knew I should give him an answer, but all I could say was, ‘But why?’

‘Because I like you, and I want to go on a date with you,’ he reasoned with me, his words the same. And at that moment, I learned just how complicated I had made everything out to be, when it really should have just been that simple.

‘You still want to go on a date with me?’ I asked instead. ‘Even after everything I said to you last time?’

‘Yes, I do,’ he answered. ‘I can’t change the fact that I’m what you call a “star athlete”, his fingers mimicking air quotes at the two words, ‘but we’re still partners for ASL class for the rest of the semester.

I was hoping that it’ll give me enough time for you to see past that part of me, when I asked you out again once the semester ended. ’

My eyes widened at what he just said. ‘What? You were planning to ask me out again?’

‘I mean, if there’s one thing athletes do have in common, it is how they never give up.

Also, you didn’t really give me a direct answer.

’ He shot me a teasing look. ‘I might’ve come a bit too strong earlier, and I’m really sorry if any of the words I said last time hurt you in any way; it really wasn’t my intention.

And come to think of it, those flowers were definitely not enough for my apology,’ he continued.

‘I mean, buying you a house seems like a good idea, but that seems a little bit excessive.’

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. ‘Buy me a house? Why would you?’ I trailed off.

And then, it hit me.

You Deserve Each Other . My favourite romance book. The scene where Nicholas bought Naomi a house to save their relationship.

My eyes widened in realization.

He couldn’t have.

‘Did you read the book?’ I voiced out. ‘ You Deserve Each Other ?’

He gave me a nod. ‘I did.’

‘But why would you read a romance book?’

‘Because it’s your favourite book,’ he simply answered, as if that was reason enough. And maybe for Colton, it really was.

From all the months I got to know him, Colton had only ever been straightforward with me: telling me exactly what was on his mind, leaving me no room to doubt him.

I knew that I didn’t owe Colton anything, even if he did read my all-time favourite book. I could still say no to his date offer, if I wanted to.

But I did owe it to myself to see where this thing with him could lead, if I stopped letting this fear hold me back.

I was scared; I continued to be. And I knew overcoming that wasn’t going to happen in a snap of a finger.

But as my eyes looked at Colton, his gaze locked in mine with his heart on his sleeve. I felt a spark of something else lighting within me.

It was the desire, the want, the longing to experience all those romantic notions I had read about in all the romance books. And not just with anyone, but with Colton.

The boy who continuously insisted on driving me home whenever he could. The boy who had ABBA CDs in his car, because it brought back good memories. The boy who brought me flowers and bubble tea. The boy who could make me laugh, and with whom, I could share a comfortable silence.

I knew the fear would linger, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t coexist with desire.

And while I had already decided with my whole heart to give Colton a chance, I couldn’t help but need one final nudge. Only this time, it was from Colton himself.

‘So, what do you say?’ he asked, breaking off my inner turmoil. ‘Go on a date with me?’

‘I will,’ I answered him, before quickly adding, ‘but on one condition.’

A twinkle of mischief appeared in his eyes, recognizing the times he had uttered the same words to me, asking me to put my trust in him. ‘And what’s that?’

‘Hit a home run for me,’ I stated, ‘at tomorrow’s game.’

A beaming smile broke on his face once he heard what I said. As he repeated the same words he had texted me the last time he promised to do the same thing, he said, ‘Hit a home run for you? You got it, partner.’