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Story: Clichés & Curses

I continued. ‘And when it did end, it just shattered this illusion I had of love stories with a cliché love interest and how maybe there wasn’t such a thing as a “happily ever after” after all.

But then you and Nathan came along, a story straight out of any workplace romance I had read.

Seeing you so happy made me believe that maybe there was something to the romance of it all,’ I told her.

Once I realized the weight of my words, I quickly added, ‘I don’t want to make it seem like I’m pinning this on you.’

Eliza simply shook her head. ‘Not at all. Go on.’

‘I looked up to your relationship a lot. I remember how shocked I was the first time you brought Nathan home; I couldn’t believe there was actually someone out there who had managed to capture the heart of the Elizabeth .’

Eliza let out a small laugh.

‘And I was so happy for you, because you deserve all the happiness the world has to offer. I was glad that the person who would be giving that to you was Nathan. The day you called to tell me that he proposed to you was when I had started to believe that maybe there was something to falling in love after all—that maybe there was a thing such as a “happily ever after”.’

‘But we called off the engagement,’ Eliza continued for me instead.

‘You guys called off the engagement,’ I repeated. ‘And you were a wreck, Eliza.’

Another similarity between my parents’ and Eliza’s relationship with Nathan was that they had both ended mutually, but at two very different speeds.

While my parents’ divorce was caused by years of build-up, Eliza and Nathan’s cancellation of engagement was sudden and abrupt.

But that didn’t mean the hurt wasn’t there.

I remember during the early days, once the divorce was finalized, how sadness lingered in the house, an awkward tension between my parents when we had our family dinner together.

When Eliza’s engagement was called off, she returned home for two weeks. Within those days, I remembered passing by her room and hearing her soft sobs through the door. My hand would reach out to the doorknob before I pulled it back, figuring she wanted to be by herself.

While Eliza did end up moving to New York City, she was alone.

‘And I just remembered thinking, “What’s the point of falling in love when it won’t last?”’ I confessed. ‘When it just ends in pain and heartbreak?’

Eliza just gave me a small smile. ‘There really isn’t one.’

‘What?’ I said, confused by her answer.

‘I think the point of falling in love is to fall in love. It’s this strange but beautiful thing we want to experience, a natural feeling.

It’s also this strange occurrence that we can’t help but search for, because that’s just how we are,’ Eliza explained.

‘Well, of course, there’s more to it once you get deeper into the relationship.

But in the early days? It’s getting to know someone more each passing day, and just letting the feeling come to you. ’

The sounds in the restaurant surrounded us as Eliza’s words lingered.

We had never really talked about love and relationships—at least not in depth.

Of course, I would call her up with details of the dates I had, and she would do the same when she and Nathan started dating.

But after they called off the engagement, I hadn’t brought up anything related to dating, which might also explain my gatekeeping of Colton—the real Colton—from her.

To keep it as a fantasy for both her and me.

‘Can I ask you a question, though?’ I asked instead. ‘About Nathan?’

‘Sure.’

I hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether I should ask her this. Eventually, I decided to just let it out. ‘Would you still have gone out with Nathan when he first asked you out, even if you knew how the story would end?’

Eliza got quiet, taking her time to ponder over my questions.

‘If you were to ask me when we first broke off the engagement, I would have said no. I don’t think I would’ve gone out with him if I had known.

I mean, getting over him was the hardest thing I ever had to do,’ she confessed.

‘But now, my answer would be yes. I would still have gone out with him. And I would still have wanted to live through everything we did, even though I knew the end was nearer than I hoped it would be. I know relationships end for a multitude of different reasons, and sometimes, people might even wonder why they started it in the first place—that they’d be better off not having been in it before it got to a certain point.

But I got lucky with Nathan, and I truly believe what we had was special.

It was something I will always cherish, even if we’re not talking any more.

I will forever feel grateful to have had him in my life. ’

‘I’m glad to hear that,’ I said, truthfully.

‘At the same time, I didn’t know it was going to end; I thought we were forever.

We were going to get married after all,’ Eliza continued, her voice turned sombre now.

‘But that’s the thing about being in a relationship with someone, you know?

When you start to fall in love with them, you don’t know when it will end.

That’s why it’s called falling—not fall, fell, or fallen—because it’s a continuous thing.

Though, keep in mind my only relationship ended in a failed engagement, so take it for what you will,’ Eliza added the last part teasingly.

I let out a light laugh, glad that the tension from the whole conversation was starting to ease up.

‘But if there is one thing I’ve learned about falling in love,’ Eliza then said, ‘is that it’s a choice.

While we might not be able to control our feelings, I do believe we get a say in who we fall in love with.

And most of the time, the choice isn’t really anything momentous.

Sometimes it’s as small as saying yes to going on a date with someone.

Though in order to start falling, you first have to be brave enough to take the leap on your own,’ she said.

‘So, my advice is to find someone who’s worth taking the leap for,’ Eliza concluded.

I let her words sink into me, slowly letting them imprint into my mind. ‘But how would you know when to take that leap?’

‘Well. That’s up for you to decide.’ she shrugged. ‘There’s no rush in figuring it out. And you don’t always have to justify your emotions, you know?’ I tilted my head up to her, meeting her eyes.

‘It’s okay to let yourself have feelings.

We’re humans, and emotions are what make us real,’ Elizabeth continued.

‘I still remember the day when Mom and Dad told us they were divorcing, while I had already started to shed some tears, you were just sitting there, trying to understand all the emotions you were feeling. You kept it to yourself for so long. And it wasn’t until I saw you sitting on the couch one day, looking through our family album, that you finally decided to let the emotions out. ’

I remembered that day like the back of my hand.

I hadn’t wanted to bother anyone about me, when they all had their own set of problems to deal with—the after-effects of the divorce.

Mom and Dad had already started to live separately at the time, so we didn’t get to see them together any more, the idea of a picture perfect family remained only a memory.

I wasn’t sure what had come over me that day, but my mind was on a reminiscent mode as I flipped through our old photos. Everything I had concealed up to that point just burst out of me like a broken dam—the tears, the screams, along with every pent-up emotion.

I hadn’t noticed that Eliza was watching me, until I felt her arms wrapped around me. I tried stopping the tears, but she just kept holding me tighter, a silent message to just let it all out: all the sadness, the anger, every single emotion I had kept to myself.

The next few months—years even—were spent not only navigating the physical aspect of the divorce, but also its emotional aspect, understanding why my parents’ marriage ended in that way, while also acknowledging how I felt about it, instead of pushing it aside.

And every time I felt confused on having certain emotions, Eliza had always been there to reassure me that it was okay, that vulnerability wasn’t a weakness, but a strength.

I did end up rebuilding my relationship with both of my parents, and even opened up to them on how I felt about the whole situation and how it had affected me emotionally. The first step of it all was to have enough courage to let myself be vulnerable to people.

It’s still something I struggle with even today, but I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by people who were patient enough with me through it all.

And it’s all because of the person sitting across from me.

‘Hard to believe that it was more than a decade ago,’ I told her.

Our conversation took a pause when the waitress came back to our table at that moment, asking us if we wanted desserts. In between bites of the cake we ordered, Eliza said to me, ‘But I do have another question though.’

‘What is it?’

‘If I’m understanding correctly, the thing that’s holding you back from going out with Colton is the whole Colton being a cliché love interest and the curse thing,’ Eliza stated.

I gave her a nod, taking another spoonful of cake.

‘So, what if that wasn’t a factor? What if Colton wasn’t the star athlete, would you go out with him?’

There it was.

The million-dollar question.

The question I had avoided each time my mind started to wonder about the curse and the what-ifs.

I stayed quiet as I contemplated her question.

All this time, my reasoning on why I couldn’t be with Colton was because of the cliché of him being a star college baseball player.

Since that was unchangeable—at least in the foreseeable future—I had never entertained the possibility of a situation where it didn’t play a role.

‘I don’t know,’ I said, shocking myself with the answer, as I admitted it to myself for the first time.

I always thought my immediate answer would be yes, that the only reason why Colton and I couldn’t be together was because of the curse. I never thought there would be something else that was holding me back from fully saying yes, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it was.

But based on the look on Eliza’s face and the familiar smile on her lips, it looked like she knew the reasoning behind my confusion. ‘It seems like the curse might not be the only thing holding you back then.’

‘Even if it wasn’t, there’s no point in thinking about it, when the reality is he’s still the star baseball player,’ I pointed out.

‘Okay, okay,’ Eliza said, her voice teasing as she put her hands up in mock surrender.

I pinched my eyebrows at her. ‘What’s with that look on your face?’

‘What look?’ she deflected, trying to look all casual.

‘That one,’ I replied, pointing my spoon in her direction. ‘You have this look on your face. Do you know something I don’t?’

‘Maybe.’ She shrugged.

‘Well, tell me.’

‘Nope,’ Eliza shook her head. ‘You need to figure this out on your own.’

I groaned. ‘I hate it when you do that.’

‘I know. But you still love me.’

‘Unfortunately.’

‘And for what it’s worth. I really like Colton.’

I snorted at her statement, but failed to keep the smile away from my lips. ‘You’re just saying that because he gave you his bubble tea.’

‘Maybe,’ she shrugged. ‘But you can’t prove it.’

I just laughed at her, grateful to have her company that night and finally letting her know what had been on my mind regarding this whole thing with Colton.

While I was glad I could tell Nina about it, telling Eliza—the person I could fully confide in—was something I didn’t know I had been wanting to do.

I also couldn’t help but think that her unexpected visit may have been a blessing in disguise after all.

‘I’m glad you’re here,’ I told her once she scooped up the last bit of cake left.

She gave me a smile—a familiar smile that assured me she understood what I truly meant by those four words. ‘Me too.’